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The food issues were the good! Now, the bad. A patient care employee took me aside in the first weeks of her admission and warned me that elderly patients like my mom tend to get ignored. On her good days she's as sweet and as polite as can be .... but on her 'uncertain' days she's like Granny Clampett on steroids and will (for example) exploit a nurse's physical weakness with impeccable timing, pinch, and take a swing at those attending her. She's been on her own for the latter part of her life and the fact that nurse's can be male is something she will never understand.

True to this patient care employee's word, I entered the room one day in the midst of an argument happening between my mom and a senior nurse of 35 years. I informed the nurse that she had recently been on the full spectrum of antibiotics and that she was still suffering hallucinations etc from their application and not to agitate her. She informed me that antibiotics do not cause any issues as such and that her issues were all due to education and upbringing. I reported her immediately and she was removed!

The bottom line is that 'some' health care employees should not be attending to geriatrics. There have been many other incidences, as such and in the line of 'delaying' care due to feistiness .... and I have dealt with them all to the best of my ability and for the ones I have been informed about or personally observed. I also went to management and had them assure me that a geriatric dementia patient, rock star, hockey player and infant all get the exact same attention and care!!! (nothing written on paper for that one, though)

It is indeed unfortunate @straight_shooter that we tend to see such a common theme of folks providing care for patients who aren't especially a particularly good fit for the job. That said, I do know that being a care provider is a very tough job! It was tough for me and I was doing it out of love. Shortly after my wife passed away a friend suggested I become a caregiver for others and it only took me a New York minute to say "I had no problem being a caregiver out of love, but there is no way I could do it for pay -- especially the low pay that is the norm for many CNAs and other attendant positions!

Hopefully this is an area, as the demand for these positions continues to increase folks will be offered a better wage and the industry will attract more good folks!

Courage, strength, and peace!

I think my message got lost when I checked to locate the website of the University of Iowa Hospitals series of Caregivers videos that is available online. You may have to sign in, but it costs nothing and these are worth it. You might pass the word.

My husband had been admitted to the ICCD Memory Unit almost a year ago now. I was noticing some situations with my husband in the ICCD Memory Unit where he had recently become a patient. I had noticed that the younger staff was not as patient or calming with many of the patients like my husband who tended to be combative if he didn't wish to do something. They were talking with very loud voices, quick movements, etc., when dealing with the residents. It was causing a lot of noise and confusion in the Unit, and only fueled more agitative behaviors among the residents.

When I received a questionnaire from the Care Center asking input on various topics, I replied at length about the videos being developed by the University of Iowa Hospitals for Caregivers and Providers that had just recently (fall of 2017) been put online at their website. We had viewed many of them at the Caregivers Support Group I had attended and given them feedback on several items to be included. When I visited a few weeks later I noticed a TV in the conference room that was on to what looked like an educational film. When I entered the Memory Unit, I overheard the nurses saying they were a little short handed that afternoon as staff was being pulled out for some workshops. During the weeks following I noticed a change in the atmosphere of the unit, so I think they were using my suggestions.
I think we all need to speak up about the low pay these people who are caring for our loved ones receive. They are doing a difficult job even on good days, and most of them really do care.

Yes, this is an area where I was totally naïve. I was under the belief the healthcare professionals entered the vocation more for an overwhelming desire to care for others .... and what a bonus to get paid for something you love to do. What I have found is that there are many who do exactly this. AND, there are many who work just for the paycheck and can't wait to punch the time clock.

To further convolute matters there are unions involved and there are restrictions to what lengths staff can do above and beyond their line of duty which often crosses moral and ethical lines when patients need immediate extracurricular care. Some of the more compassionate caregivers ignore these regulations and come running while others use it as a carte blanche to 'sit' and ignore as long as possible.

So ,,,,, it's these curious modalities and need for constant vigilance, due diligence, monitoring, policing that takes the extra time and energy. To be honest, I have no problem with 'just' the care giving itself,,,,,, if only it were that simple.

Doctors are not immune from this scene. It is unconscionable to think that they may simply forget to enter important diagnostic data into the computer database and for the more hands on caregivers to follow up on - but this has happened on several occasions already and also must be monitored regularly.

An example of this was that she was aspirating early on and could not take drink by straw .... which was her main form of intake. But then a Doctor and Speech Pathologist examined her and cleared for both straw and more solid foods. GREAT! I started immediately to up her intake based on this information and in which the Dr. informed me face to face. But wait, he did not enter in to the computer. Staff observed me feeding via straw and with solid foods. An argument ensued, security called, and I was expelled. It would be 10 days before the database would be officially corrected and (meanwhile) Mom had slipped to 82 pounds! Unconscionable, sad but a true happening.

Thank you @rmftucker for the resource availability! I was not aware of these videos so I will enjoy taking a look at them. Thanks again for the post and the information.

I agree we all need to speak up for a better living wage for those who are in the caregiving profession -- and for more free-access information, like the videos you mentioned, for caregivers to utilize to help us all out! Knowledge is power and it can also truly help breakdown the feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and isolation we often feel from time-to-time as caregivers.

I hope all is going well for you these days!

Now I am off to seek out those videos!

Courage, strength, and peace

Hi,
how you describe it is real happened in many places as you said (They were talking with very loud voices, quick movements, etc., when dealing with the residents. It was causing a lot of noise and confusion in the Unit, and only fueled more agitative behaviors among the residents) is true. I support your words and to increase the payment it might help to develop the way how the care should be achieved.

@straight_shooter you are sure right about the complexity of the caregiving spectrum for our loved ones -- and for lots of other patients I expect! I believe (based on nothing other than my personal experiences with my wife's care journey) this complexity will continue as more and more specialization and sub-specialization continues in the medical field. I remember early on, when my wife was in her post-surgical rehab she had five different folks she worked with, one for each area of her need. I understand specialization, but also witnessed the confusion, loss of progress, etc. these almost hourly changes in personnel, locations, etc. brought her.

In some ways I wish Dr. Welby was still in the house 🙂

Courage, strength, and peace!

Fully condone an increase in pay for pro caregivers! Not the full solution though. I'm not sure you can 'buy' empathy and compassion. There are lots of caregivers who have it and don't moan and complain about their paycheck. Will the less_than_happy 'Squeaky Wheels' suddenly attain more of these characteristics of humanity should they get a $10.00/hr raise! Not so sure about that. There needs to be much more regulation, accountability and coummunication between the various levels of health care providers.

One systemic problem that I've noticed and for which causes Mom ongoing consternation is tone and delivery of speech towards her. Respect! The old adage that 'Only 10% of conflict is difference of opinion and 90% tone and delivery of speech' is spot on and for that extra $10.00/hr(or more) all staff would/should be held accountable for this 24/7 in a perfect healthcare world!

I fully agree about the tone and delivery of speech. Too many times the reply is given in a way that sounds as if it is an imposition to respond to the resident.

I was able to locate the website for this series that I referenced in a previous message. Search for "Family Involvement in Dementia Care Series - IGEC 1002" and it will open to the UI Learn website.