This is EXACTLY the group you should be a part of. All our situations are different but we have one thing in common. We are Caregivers

Rozalia, I agree this is a good group for you. As caregivers we need lots of sources of encouragement and this is one. I'm watching the person who was my Mom disappear just as you are with your husband. It's not pleasant, very challenging, and sometimes the hopelessness of it all gets overwhelming. When that happens, we need each other's support so much!

@rozalia this is the perfect place! While each caregiver's journey is different, there are many commonalities, which we all can benefit from sharing. I witnessed my wife change from a successful business owner to a person who was unable to ever leave her bed. While it was very sad, we decided to accept each of the many stages she went into and through and not focus on what had been lost. By the way my mother-in-law had dementia so I send you strength and peace.

My situation is much the same as yours. My husband also had a shunt inserted for hydrocephalus and it did not improve his memory issues either. He is now diagnosed with alzheimers. I see the deterioration and have no idea how to deal with some of the issues we are facing. I am so grateful to have found this group.

Hi @traveler17. What can I say? Caregiving is such an incredibly demanding role and one none of us are ready or prepared for. Especially us family member caregivers. Try and remember there are many of us here. We have experienced much in our caregiving roles. We have had good days and bad. We have handled some chores with aplomb, some with little grace and some looking like one of The Three Stooges. But we have had many experiences and can offer ideas, support, and suggestions. No question is too small, insignificant, or irrelevant to ask here! In the 14+ years as my wife's primary caregiver (brain cancer) I had to deal with a huge variety of issues. Physical, emotional, family, conflict, etc. So know were are here, we do not judge!

Peace, strength, and courage!

I understand your frustrations because my husband was diagnosed 2-3 years ago w/dementia and he was an active type a personality, very active, etc. and now he does not do anything.....oddly, he thinks he works hard all day, but mostly he is looking for lost items, etc. and takes forever to shave, won't shower (only sink baths,etc.). I still feel like he is "present" with me and our children but he is definitely different now. I am thankful that he still knows us and is happy with our present situation. One thing he does that frustrates me is his obsessing on one thing (like keys) for unlimited time....either hunting them or constantly trying them in one lock or another.

Welcome to the Caregivers group on Connect, @dorothys! We have an active group of people caring for a partner or parent with dementia.

Here are a few discussions to get you started.
- Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's http://mayocl.in/2ccA0jO
- Dementia Anger Issues - bathing http://mayocl.in/2g0Urkt
- Husband with early Alzheimers -question http://mayocl.in/2fd7gbG

I can relate, but as a daughter to mother, not as a spouse. I think it is so much harder for you... We have a local ARK dementia caregivers support group that meets monthly at our church. They have an additional support group for spousal caregivers, because it is so much harder in many ways. I am sorry you have to go through this... I hope being in this online group is helpful and I hope you find others close to your area for support also. Life is not fair, but God is here for all of us!