The word "Survivor."

I have survived alot of things, as I am sure we all have at one point in our lives. I SURVIVED, so obviously I am a SURVIVOR, but I don't find that label inspiring or helpful at all.
It is the same for all the PINK breast cancer items. It really irks me. Not that I don't like the color pink, I'm just not going to parade it around as a sign of my BC. Cancer does not define me.

I tried editing my comment above about the pink ribbons and such, but was unable to, so will just post here. After thinking about this more, I see where wearing a BC hat or shirt, etc can actually bring about awareness or even a reminder to some to go schedule their mammogram. I can also see where you can form a friendship or bond with a total stranger just by starting a conversation because you noticed their shirt, hat, etc. It brings forth a sense of normalcy when you have something in common with someone else and you can talk about it.
I am a JEEP girl and a huge dog and horse lover. My hats, shirts, and vehicle all represent that. I have made new friends by just starting a conversation with someone else with the same interests.
And, I am in no way judging someone else by their own thoughts and feelings, that is what makes us unique. There is no right or wrong. We are all going through our own struggles and at different stages. (((BIG HUGS to all of you)))

I appreciate both your posts--particularly as they are about how we communicate with others. For me, I worry that the word "survivor" can seem to exclude those who haven't or won't survive breast cancer. I enjoyed how you note hats etc. can start a conversation. My style is Boho, and I live in an artsy town. "I like your earrings" is my fave comment from a stranger!

I see your point. And those who "survived" for a time, but cancer came back. I have heard "fighter" and "warrior" also. Great leaders, commanders, warriors, fighters have lost battles, but it doesn't mean they went down without a fight. Think about all the monuments that are all across the world to honor those who fought a good fight, win or lose. They were still great warriors! I definitely think we are all brave, even in the times we do not feel brave. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with. It is the unknown.
What started out as simply DCIS, "pre cancer", am easy fix, etc has turned out to be one of the scariest times for me. The different tests and procedures finding new things. I am learning to roll with the punches!
My situation could be so much worse. I am thankful that I have no pain. My daddy had lung cancer and it was just horribly painful for him.
The positive to having BC is that we have a strong support team in each other.
I love the Boho style, I am more of a boots and jeans kinda gal.

I think the term "survivor" denies the fact that we live with the threat of recurrence or metastasis long term. Sure we can put it on the back burner. But honestly we are never 100% safe. I am 10 years out and know that with hormonal cancers, risk continues to rise. It is what is.

I read a book that was highly critical of the warrior language ("fight," "brave" etc.). If cancer comes back, or if we are losing the "battle,", it doesn't mean we have weaker characters or lack strength of any kind.

The same book was highly critical of the pink theme as a form of marketing cancer.
I dnn't personally have any feelings about that other than pink kind of trivializes the experience. I do think, however, that some of the advocacy using pink has resulted in a lot more research.

Thank you for your posts. Survivor does not appeal to me nor do i use it. I had breast cancer with a genetic mutation, then within 6 months of my final treatment I was found to have MDS. Brave is a word I like as it says i did not back down, I went in with my eyes open. When asked if my MDS at a low-mid level was something to treat now or watch and wait, I thought for just a couple minutes. Do something now. Within 7 months my donor was found, and I had my transplant. Survivor as has been mentioned is not what i feel applies to me.
Pink is not a color i ever wore. I used to say it was because my long read hair and freckled skin were not good with pink. I still do not wear pink. With having a BMT I may also no longer have red hair. I am waiting to see what color it will be. To be brave and accept it is what I hope for. Breast cancer took my long red hair, my hair will no regrow for its 2nd time. (I am not brave enough to go bald. I wear hats, except when i am home alone 🙂
A pink broom and dustpan are my new items at home.
Lastly, as to the pink ribbon, and the outward ways we can let people know we know, i passed the small breast cancer buttons out at a retreat for women that I attend. They were well received. Many women know women who have been on this journey. In this way, I want to let women know with a button orpin, that I know and understand.
I am in a club of brave women who never asked to join this club!!

Like everything about BC, each person is different.
Personally I don’t care for the survivor/fight/battle terminology, my path was pretty straightforward. I might feel differently if I had gone through chemo that drained my energy, or developed an infection, severe radiation burns, or mets. I look back at my experience as something that was scary and uncomfortable, but not something I battled.

I agree with @meeshodge about how the pink merchandise can start a conversation or raise awareness, and I support that aspect - it’s not my style, but neither are miniskirts!

I bring it up when my experience might be useful to someone I am speaking with. When I had breast cancer, I told everybody. When I had gyn cancer, I told nobody -- not because of where it was, but because a lot of people I know casually approach me like....uh, uh, are you okay now?? because of the breast cancer from 2019. It's an identity I can't shed, no matter what I do. So I decided early on not to tell the next time around.

I am glad that there are so many survivors out there. I wanted to be a survivor and get to ring the bell and such. But, it didn’t work out that way for me. Now I just consider myself as a loser because I’m not going to survive after trying so hard. This is my second round of breast cancer after a ten year break. They tried everything. I finished my treatment a few weeks back and I am not going to survive, I’m going to die. I don’t know how long I have. I have breast cancer tumors in my left armpit, my lymph nodes, my bones, my lungs and my liver is filled completely with tumors. I truly am so very happy for those of you that are survivors. I don’t talk to anyone that I don’t know about my cancer because I don’t want to scare them with my story and ruin their joy. I would rather they keep their joy. So I’m not a survivor and I feel like I am a loser or whatever. God bless all of you beautiful survivors. Maria

Maria,
I read your story, and I only think brave. To tell us the truth, to know any of us who have cancer know it may not be gone forever. The plain and simple truth you wrote touches me deeply. I cannot change your experience, but i know you are not a loser. The tumors were not created by you. The dang cancer cells are the losers. Glod bless you beautiful Maria.