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Caregiver sundowning

Posted by chris20 @chris20, Jun 8 6:41am

Most caregivers for loved ones with dementia are familiar with sundowning and how things get worse toward the end of the day. We often experience what some call caregiver burnout or compassion fatigue. In my case, neither of those two terms exactly fits. I am not totally burned out, because I still function and get everything accomplished, I don't just give up. And it isn't compassion fatigue, because I still run the household and get everything done with a fairly respectable amount of energy and competence. I am not all that fatigued. Still, I am often irritable and tired of the repetition, looking for things in odd places, explaining who our children are, reciting what we had for supper, explaining for the 500th time how our beloved little dog passed away, repeating what day it is and what time it is, having no meaningful conversation, and on and on. So I think the term "caregiver sundowning" fits the most accurately. I would like to know if anyone else is experiencing this and if there are any solutions that work well.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

thereaklenb | @thereaklenb | Aug 5 9:45pm

My wife is constantly asking me questions that make no sense. I have learned to just make up responses that will not trigger any negative behavior. At first I felt guilty but now I realize it is just a learned a care giver survival.

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verol65 | @verol65 | Aug 6 2:23pm
In reply to @chris20 "This is heartbreaking when meaningful communication deteriorates and it's no longer possible to work out agreeable..." + (show)
@chris20

This is heartbreaking when meaningful communication deteriorates and it's no longer possible to work out agreeable solutions to everyday issues. It totally changes the relationship, and often other family members don't realize the seriousness of it, so their helpfulness is limited. It's a lonely challenge. We try strategies and ideas, read books, go on discussion forums, etc. That's all we can do. I am wondering if some sort of family counseling by Alzheimer's psychologists would be worth trying, has anyone tried this?

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Participating in support groups like this one, or groups that meet virtually or in person, is more often than not helpful. Also therapy for the caregiver can be a source of wellbeing.

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