My husband has advanced Parkinsons. I've been caregiving for 2 yrs but, now that our insurance has kicked in, have help 4 hrs a day, five days a week. Very helpful! As others have said, it's been painful to see my independent, get-things-done husband gradually become helpless. But he's 87 so here we are... Hospice has been wonderful-recommend it! Our biggest hurdle, urinary frequency with accidents, was largely taken care of by using a condom catheter. No longer do I get up at night with him. Next hurdle: how to become Amazon woman to handle those sometimes difficult transfers without hurting my back or shoulders. So far, we've been lucky but it's concerning. Other than being careful with posture, are there any suggestions out there?
If they are not able to walk on their own, a hoyer lift helps tremendously. My dad cannot walk on his own, even when we try and help him so we get him in and out of bed with a hoyer.
If they are not able to walk on their own, a hoyer lift helps tremendously. My dad cannot walk on his own, even when we try and help him so we get him in and out of bed with a hoyer.
Do you mind saying how large he is? My Dad is very large over 6 feet and over 230 pounds. I can’t imagine transferring him with a device. Maybe, it’s a matter of training with the equipment.
Also, does he feel comfortable being transferred that way?
If they are not able to walk on their own, a hoyer lift helps tremendously. My dad cannot walk on his own, even when we try and help him so we get him in and out of bed with a hoyer.
I am a retired/disabled 66 yr old woman who will be facing this challenge before long. I try to take one day/time & remember basic body mechanics. My suggestion, to you is to have an in-home Physical Therapist to come in & teach you how to maneuver him correctly. At the same time, they can assess your strength to determine if you need more help. My biggest suggestion is to make sure you put a draw sheet under him. This will help you immensely. Does he have an adjustable (hospital) bed? That is essential. You can then use the bed to help you move him up in bed, to sit him up and to reposition him. Hospice Nurses should be able to teach you a few “tricks of the trade”, too! Ask!!!!! 🤗 I wish you well.
Do you mind saying how large he is? My Dad is very large over 6 feet and over 230 pounds. I can’t imagine transferring him with a device. Maybe, it’s a matter of training with the equipment.
Also, does he feel comfortable being transferred that way?
Now my dad is only about 148 pounds and 5’9”. However standard hoyers can hold up to 400 lbs. There are different slings to attach. He was very nervous at first but he got used to it. My dad is in a lot of pain so he yells to hurry up (plus he’s 92). It seems difficult at first but boy did it save us. A PT can discuss this with you and show u how to use it. We have the electronic device - not the crank.
Well, no pain from a UTI (or a cancerous growth not yet diagnosed) that came with Urgent Care, an Emergency Room visit over the weekend. Then, a follow-up visit. Somewhere between the parking lot of the hospital and the drive home, my dear husband's pain became full-blown pain. And so the plans to finish up painting walls after the installation of a new tile floor to make things easier to clean up and a refresh of the walls not painted in 20 years has to wait. Pain is disrupting sleep, and when my dear boy sees blood in his urine, I must reassure him every time I am working on getting him proper medical care since short-term memory issues bring anxiety. -- This morning, I want to say, "Not Fair." I was just getting the hang of dealing with dementia and cancer after 10 years. It is an illusion, but an illusion can be an ally. -- The pain meds are working and the first instinct of my lovely boy is to be helpful. So he refills my cup of coffee, and I take 5 minutes to purge on this website to give a bit of hope before I try to figure out a new plan. -- We are lucky. Somehow, in a stretched medical system, we have been scheduled for an appointment with a urologist on Monday. Believe me, this is as close to a miracle as it gets. Russ, at 94, makes it difficult to convince medical providers he is not ready to give up and quietly die. As his advocate, I have learned to be gently forceful. How is that for an oxymoron? And I do a fine job, but this morning, I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. My 87-year-old bones are aching from the extra work the tiling project has brought. I am stymied by setting priorities to alleviate clutter that brings me pressure. -- Anticipation of moments like this is the reason I hired lovely Kayla. This morning I texted her that there is no game plan for Tuesday, her scheduled day. What I need is someone who has a clearer eye than my own. Dear Boy's daughter is coming for a visit on Thursday. We have to carve out a few moments of love and laughter in the midst of uncertainty. And I know without Kayla's help, it would be impossible. -- If there is any message in this post, it is flexibility, and flexibility is only possible because I have come to realize that only birds fly in a straight line to their destinations. While my dear Boy rests, I will remove at least one job from the To-do list. But, mainly, I have changed my focus to the visit instead of having things perfect for the visit. -- You give me strength, dear friends. GloRo
Well, no pain from a UTI (or a cancerous growth not yet diagnosed) that came with Urgent Care, an Emergency Room visit over the weekend. Then, a follow-up visit. Somewhere between the parking lot of the hospital and the drive home, my dear husband's pain became full-blown pain. And so the plans to finish up painting walls after the installation of a new tile floor to make things easier to clean up and a refresh of the walls not painted in 20 years has to wait. Pain is disrupting sleep, and when my dear boy sees blood in his urine, I must reassure him every time I am working on getting him proper medical care since short-term memory issues bring anxiety. -- This morning, I want to say, "Not Fair." I was just getting the hang of dealing with dementia and cancer after 10 years. It is an illusion, but an illusion can be an ally. -- The pain meds are working and the first instinct of my lovely boy is to be helpful. So he refills my cup of coffee, and I take 5 minutes to purge on this website to give a bit of hope before I try to figure out a new plan. -- We are lucky. Somehow, in a stretched medical system, we have been scheduled for an appointment with a urologist on Monday. Believe me, this is as close to a miracle as it gets. Russ, at 94, makes it difficult to convince medical providers he is not ready to give up and quietly die. As his advocate, I have learned to be gently forceful. How is that for an oxymoron? And I do a fine job, but this morning, I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. My 87-year-old bones are aching from the extra work the tiling project has brought. I am stymied by setting priorities to alleviate clutter that brings me pressure. -- Anticipation of moments like this is the reason I hired lovely Kayla. This morning I texted her that there is no game plan for Tuesday, her scheduled day. What I need is someone who has a clearer eye than my own. Dear Boy's daughter is coming for a visit on Thursday. We have to carve out a few moments of love and laughter in the midst of uncertainty. And I know without Kayla's help, it would be impossible. -- If there is any message in this post, it is flexibility, and flexibility is only possible because I have come to realize that only birds fly in a straight line to their destinations. While my dear Boy rests, I will remove at least one job from the To-do list. But, mainly, I have changed my focus to the visit instead of having things perfect for the visit. -- You give me strength, dear friends. GloRo
@gloro your posts have been very helpful to me. Thank you.
Flexible is my new mantra. Just when I think we have a good plan in place everything changes.
Last night I had to clean the bathroom floor twice when I turned away for a moment and dear hubby urinated on the floor. Earlier, he went while lying on top of the bedspread. (The brief did not catch it and I didn't bother putting pads on the bed because this has never been an issue.) I try to plan ahead for what "might" go wrong but can't anticipate every new change.
Like you, I've set the bar lower for things that can wait, no matter how badly I want to accomplish a task. Today, I'll be satisfied to get the soiled bedding washed.
@gloro your posts have been very helpful to me. Thank you.
Flexible is my new mantra. Just when I think we have a good plan in place everything changes.
Last night I had to clean the bathroom floor twice when I turned away for a moment and dear hubby urinated on the floor. Earlier, he went while lying on top of the bedspread. (The brief did not catch it and I didn't bother putting pads on the bed because this has never been an issue.) I try to plan ahead for what "might" go wrong but can't anticipate every new change.
Like you, I've set the bar lower for things that can wait, no matter how badly I want to accomplish a task. Today, I'll be satisfied to get the soiled bedding washed.
Thanks, Jeh. Your response means a lot to me. With the extra laundry
required from the UTI or whatever it is, my guy has decided to get dressed
up every day as if he were going to town. Instead of urinating in his
sweats, he is now urinating in his dress pants and shirts. There is a
mound on the dryer waiting for the old spot remover trick before washing
can happen. The only way you can survive this is to develop a sense of
humor. I guess it is better than him no longer caring how he looks. Right
now, my back is killing me, but at least it is for a good reason. I was
able to get some semblance of order around here. Whatever tomorrow brings,
I will be better prepared than I was today. Ah, small victories. Keep up
the good fight. GloRo
The frustration of taking care of my husband who has dementia is exhausting. I tell friends and family that it's not hard but it is a demanding job. I am in charge of everything, and I mean everything. It's the constant wet underwear (Depends), bed pads, so much cleaning and laundry. I'm overweight, have bad knees and limited mobility. My husband has trouble moving too, although he uses a walker her is extremely stiff and slow. His eating is sporadic, one time he'll eat all his food, other times I have to feed him. Most of the time food ends up all over his bib a no d the floor. But I do what I can because I love my husband. I find I true what has been said here. I take each day as a new one and put off things that don't matter so I can spend time with him before his time runs out. Spending time with him, even on the bad days, means more to me than keeping my home like it belongs in a issue of Good Housekeeping.
Thanks, Jeh. Your response means a lot to me. With the extra laundry
required from the UTI or whatever it is, my guy has decided to get dressed
up every day as if he were going to town. Instead of urinating in his
sweats, he is now urinating in his dress pants and shirts. There is a
mound on the dryer waiting for the old spot remover trick before washing
can happen. The only way you can survive this is to develop a sense of
humor. I guess it is better than him no longer caring how he looks. Right
now, my back is killing me, but at least it is for a good reason. I was
able to get some semblance of order around here. Whatever tomorrow brings,
I will be better prepared than I was today. Ah, small victories. Keep up
the good fight. GloRo
Sense of humor is essential. When hubby thinks he's in skilled nursing and I'm a caregiver he speaks lovingly of his beautiful wife. This is a wonderful blessing. (He assures "her" that he has never looked at another woman and never will.)
Sense of humor and flexibility have eluded me tonight. Wlit was bad enough when, a couple of hours ago, my husband didn't recognize our furniture, then recognized it and wondered how it got here. Now he knows this is our home and our things but is convinced I have moved everything just slightly with help from my "boyfriend ". Says our marriage is over and he doesn't want me near him.
I am so tired. Just when things are going smoothly it all falls apart again.
Where do you find help at times like this? If I call his doctor on Monday is there really anything he can do to help? I know you are all going through similar things so why do I feel so alone?
Thanks for prayers, good thoughts, virtual hugs...whatever you can offer.
Jeh
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If they are not able to walk on their own, a hoyer lift helps tremendously. My dad cannot walk on his own, even when we try and help him so we get him in and out of bed with a hoyer.
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Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsDo you mind saying how large he is? My Dad is very large over 6 feet and over 230 pounds. I can’t imagine transferring him with a device. Maybe, it’s a matter of training with the equipment.
Also, does he feel comfortable being transferred that way?
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionI am a retired/disabled 66 yr old woman who will be facing this challenge before long. I try to take one day/time & remember basic body mechanics. My suggestion, to you is to have an in-home Physical Therapist to come in & teach you how to maneuver him correctly. At the same time, they can assess your strength to determine if you need more help. My biggest suggestion is to make sure you put a draw sheet under him. This will help you immensely. Does he have an adjustable (hospital) bed? That is essential. You can then use the bed to help you move him up in bed, to sit him up and to reposition him. Hospice Nurses should be able to teach you a few “tricks of the trade”, too! Ask!!!!! 🤗 I wish you well.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsNow my dad is only about 148 pounds and 5’9”. However standard hoyers can hold up to 400 lbs. There are different slings to attach. He was very nervous at first but he got used to it. My dad is in a lot of pain so he yells to hurry up (plus he’s 92). It seems difficult at first but boy did it save us. A PT can discuss this with you and show u how to use it. We have the electronic device - not the crank.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsWell, no pain from a UTI (or a cancerous growth not yet diagnosed) that came with Urgent Care, an Emergency Room visit over the weekend. Then, a follow-up visit. Somewhere between the parking lot of the hospital and the drive home, my dear husband's pain became full-blown pain. And so the plans to finish up painting walls after the installation of a new tile floor to make things easier to clean up and a refresh of the walls not painted in 20 years has to wait. Pain is disrupting sleep, and when my dear boy sees blood in his urine, I must reassure him every time I am working on getting him proper medical care since short-term memory issues bring anxiety. -- This morning, I want to say, "Not Fair." I was just getting the hang of dealing with dementia and cancer after 10 years. It is an illusion, but an illusion can be an ally. -- The pain meds are working and the first instinct of my lovely boy is to be helpful. So he refills my cup of coffee, and I take 5 minutes to purge on this website to give a bit of hope before I try to figure out a new plan. -- We are lucky. Somehow, in a stretched medical system, we have been scheduled for an appointment with a urologist on Monday. Believe me, this is as close to a miracle as it gets. Russ, at 94, makes it difficult to convince medical providers he is not ready to give up and quietly die. As his advocate, I have learned to be gently forceful. How is that for an oxymoron? And I do a fine job, but this morning, I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. My 87-year-old bones are aching from the extra work the tiling project has brought. I am stymied by setting priorities to alleviate clutter that brings me pressure. -- Anticipation of moments like this is the reason I hired lovely Kayla. This morning I texted her that there is no game plan for Tuesday, her scheduled day. What I need is someone who has a clearer eye than my own. Dear Boy's daughter is coming for a visit on Thursday. We have to carve out a few moments of love and laughter in the midst of uncertainty. And I know without Kayla's help, it would be impossible. -- If there is any message in this post, it is flexibility, and flexibility is only possible because I have come to realize that only birds fly in a straight line to their destinations. While my dear Boy rests, I will remove at least one job from the To-do list. But, mainly, I have changed my focus to the visit instead of having things perfect for the visit. -- You give me strength, dear friends. GloRo
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Like -
Helpful -
Hug
7 Reactions@gloro your posts have been very helpful to me. Thank you.
Flexible is my new mantra. Just when I think we have a good plan in place everything changes.
Last night I had to clean the bathroom floor twice when I turned away for a moment and dear hubby urinated on the floor. Earlier, he went while lying on top of the bedspread. (The brief did not catch it and I didn't bother putting pads on the bed because this has never been an issue.) I try to plan ahead for what "might" go wrong but can't anticipate every new change.
Like you, I've set the bar lower for things that can wait, no matter how badly I want to accomplish a task. Today, I'll be satisfied to get the soiled bedding washed.
Blessings, jeh
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Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsThanks, Jeh. Your response means a lot to me. With the extra laundry
required from the UTI or whatever it is, my guy has decided to get dressed
up every day as if he were going to town. Instead of urinating in his
sweats, he is now urinating in his dress pants and shirts. There is a
mound on the dryer waiting for the old spot remover trick before washing
can happen. The only way you can survive this is to develop a sense of
humor. I guess it is better than him no longer caring how he looks. Right
now, my back is killing me, but at least it is for a good reason. I was
able to get some semblance of order around here. Whatever tomorrow brings,
I will be better prepared than I was today. Ah, small victories. Keep up
the good fight. GloRo
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsThe frustration of taking care of my husband who has dementia is exhausting. I tell friends and family that it's not hard but it is a demanding job. I am in charge of everything, and I mean everything. It's the constant wet underwear (Depends), bed pads, so much cleaning and laundry. I'm overweight, have bad knees and limited mobility. My husband has trouble moving too, although he uses a walker her is extremely stiff and slow. His eating is sporadic, one time he'll eat all his food, other times I have to feed him. Most of the time food ends up all over his bib a no d the floor. But I do what I can because I love my husband. I find I true what has been said here. I take each day as a new one and put off things that don't matter so I can spend time with him before his time runs out. Spending time with him, even on the bad days, means more to me than keeping my home like it belongs in a issue of Good Housekeeping.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsSense of humor is essential. When hubby thinks he's in skilled nursing and I'm a caregiver he speaks lovingly of his beautiful wife. This is a wonderful blessing. (He assures "her" that he has never looked at another woman and never will.)
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionSense of humor and flexibility have eluded me tonight. Wlit was bad enough when, a couple of hours ago, my husband didn't recognize our furniture, then recognized it and wondered how it got here. Now he knows this is our home and our things but is convinced I have moved everything just slightly with help from my "boyfriend ". Says our marriage is over and he doesn't want me near him.
I am so tired. Just when things are going smoothly it all falls apart again.
Where do you find help at times like this? If I call his doctor on Monday is there really anything he can do to help? I know you are all going through similar things so why do I feel so alone?
Thanks for prayers, good thoughts, virtual hugs...whatever you can offer.
Jeh
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Helpful -
Hug
4 Reactions