Struggling Today: One year anniversary coming up

Congratulations on the purchase of your new home! That is exciting. It can also be daunting.

My goodness, you certainly have undergone a lot. So sorry those around you haven’t been more sensitive of the situation. Moving is a huge stressor. A celebration gathering requires a lot of resources. Imo, they should have realized how you might not have the bandwidth for both. Don’t feel bad about it. Their expectations were unreasonable. Good for you for making that clear.

The last time I moved, I swore no more packing myself. I was perfectly healthy (I have not had breast cancer) and I still had severe pain in my back and feet. I had to see my acupuncturist for relief with some therapeutic release. It taught me to be more reasonable with my endeavors.

Please be gentle with yourself and take your time in your healing. Sending well wishes and warm thoughts your way. Best wishes on your move as well, Creating your new home environment will be a great opportunity to be creative and start fresh.

I understand the feelings. Moving, memories, letting go and moving somewhere new is hard. I moved seniors for about 6 years. Often from homes where the people had lived all their married lives. We talked with them, as we sorted and packed their lives. "Strangers" like us listen with no expectation to all their memories and feelings.
I think of those years as I read your share. Having a cancer anniversary is routine. I had MDS, and i now have a new Birthday of April 9th. I believe i will celebrate that day. How far have I come? How much closer am i to the life I have always wanted.
Others do not always understand. If they have not had cancer, it is hard to understand emotions. Emotions that come from knowing you had cancer.
And let those friends now, later would be a great time to meet. We do not want to shut the door on good things in our lives. People or memories. I hope you take care of yourself and know today is one day. Each day is a fresh new day.

Understand how you feel completely!!! If you feel you could use some more support look up ABCD ( after breast cancer diagnosis). They have been around for 25 years. They take Mat hing mentees w mentors very seriously trying to match up what the mentee needs from a mentor. It is 100% free and once matched the mentor abd mentee set up times to talk, it isn't controlled through a calendar like other mentor programs. I hope your days turn around soon!!

@rom828 - thank you for your suggestion of ABCD, I had never heard of them before but will look into them. I started reading about the organization and am encouraged by the information I've read. I've been NED for about 1 year and still feel out of sorts sometimes like I wish there was someone to talk to that understood that the anxiety isn't constant but it does creep up on me sometimes and wish there was someone I could talk to that understands.

Thank you

@val97 there is much that our “non cancer” friends can never understand. My friends assumed that the minute I was done with chemo, I was all good and ready to be the energizer bunny again. The truth is, I was struggling with being unable to be that for myself. I was very used to working 16 hours a day and still doing things after with hubby or friends or both. After treatments it took me a year to feel like I had enough strength to work 10 hours a day and then go home and die.
I was still mourning my former expectations of my life, the expectations of the new horse property we had planned to buy, and the years of health from 35 to 65 that I planned to work and build the business that I had loved every minute pre diagnosis but no longer had the heart for.
Now you are moving and struggling with the energy for that and dealing with the emotions (good or bad) still requires much energy.
You have been through a lot and you should try and give yourself some grace.
Get through this the best that you can and then if your friends want to have a get together, let them plan it.
I have learned to be grateful for the life I have, but it doesn’t mean I don’t think about the life I lost.
Has any of the advice given by this remarkable group of ladies seemed helpful to you?

I'm thinking about you and sending hugs and support knowing that you've got this. You're courageous & loving and, enen though your energy is low, its a normal part of the struggles. I'll hold the higher watch for you in my thoughts today, until your strength resurfaces. Peace, and Breathe.

I'm finally having a minute to sit down and read all the comments. I so appreciate the support, suggestions and, most of all, the acknowledgment. I appreciate you all so very very much.

Thank you for this! I will look into it!

I am better today, friends. The house is closed and behind us. I survived. I'm tired but doing okay. We've moved to our temporary place and beginning to acclimate to our surroundings. Thank you for the support. It is so appreciated. 🙂

Oh my goodness! Boy, I TOTALLY get you! It is truly OK to feel what you are feeling...I am also coming up on my 1st year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. Feeling a sense of mourning is an accurate way to describe what you have had to come to grips with. I mourned the loss of my body as it is completely different than it was before cancer. That is one thing out of several things that I've mourned as well. Eventhough you are "ok" as you say, there is still more to go through, it's not easy for people to understand that unless you explain it to them. Even then it isn't easy. Please know that it is OK to say no to things in order to give yourself the rest you need. You have been through a lot, others will have to respect this.

Having up and down days is normal, definitely difficult....but normal. I have learned that it's a process and I had to accept certain things along the way. I had to give myself grace in knowing that rest had to be a top priority for a while. ...wait...it still is!

Going into Sept freaks me out as the 21st is my 1st year anniversary as I stated earlier, I think that mammogram is going to send me into a crying fit! I have decided that's ok and I will own each freaking tear! I encourage you to own them too! Even though there is fear that lingers, we can move forward on the journey and fight a fearless fight!

All of us that have replied to your post are here for you! Here for each other too!