Recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Angel12632m,
Hi, I'm Shelley, 65 yrs old and feel like I am 165 yrs old. I give my age, cuz our age does affect how we view life. You sound younger. I am glad you have found help with a therapist. BPD was added to my list of mental health back in 2012, but I was not told about this until, 2018, I was getting records together, knowing I would be leaving my HMO. The Dr that diagnosed me with BPD had left by this time. So, I asked the psychiatrist of 15 yrs, I mostly see him when we were still trying to find a medication routine. But we came to the same conclusion that I was not going to be able to use medication for any type of depression. But I did not understand why the BPD. He explained, gently, about it and why he did agree with it. Thankfully he knows me well enough that I trust his judgment. I still didn't understand the BPD, since I had zero childhood abuse issues. So, like you, I kept researching. Two years later I had my AHHA moment in 2020, now you can laugh, I was sitting on the toilet.🤪 I grabbed a pen and pad wrote as fast as I could. I was struggling now, with both the diagnosis and my AHHA. I have kept it all to myself, nothing positive can come of sharing with my two brothers and my parents died in 2022, only 31 days apart both died in there sleep with my older brother there with them. So it really was positive, their bodies were all used up. There were no repressed memories or anything horrible. However, being older, I wish I had NEVER NEVER been told. It definitely casted a negative shadow over the final two years of my parents lives. I worked hard to keep it hidden from everyone while taking care of my parents. When I got overwhelmed, I made excuses to go for a walk, the grocery store anywhere that I could privately have a sad or angry meltdown. There's no secret medication or therapy for me. BPD, I have learned is a broad spectrum disorder that affects all of us differently. I wish you well with your therapy. You deserve to live a life that you can find joy, happiness, love, accomplishments, acceptance. Most of all, I wish you to make loving yourself the #1 priority over everything else. 😇‼️‼️Shelley

@shelleyw Thank you to @aneesa2632m for starting this Discussion. Do you know what symptoms and reactions you were having that led your mental health provider to diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder? In my opinion, personality disorders are very difficult to diagnose unless the therapist or doctor knows the patient very well over a period of time. I'd like to encourage you with this. A diagnosis, any diagnosis, does not mean that is fundamentally you. For instance, I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2019 and I've had no evidence of disease for the last 2 1/2 year (I had a recurrence in 2021). I view myself as a cancer survivor and has a person who had cancer but not as a cancer. Do you see what I mean?

@shelleyw I have known people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder who had secure childhoods with no history of abuse as a child or as a adult. I can understand whyat this age you wish you were never told about this diagnosis. I'll ask you the same questions I asked @aneesa2632m. Since a psychological diagnosis is a collection of symptoms I'm wondering if you are aware of the symptoms you were showing that led to this diagnosis? What did your psychiatrist say about this and why did his explanation make sense to you?

@naturegirl5 I would have constant mental breakdowns and anger issues. I was suicidal at one point. I pushed away relationships.
I still need to talk to my therapist about this because she has not said anything yet.

aneesa2632, I have no answers to offer you right now, cuz all I have is questions. I can offer you a gigantic virtual hug 🫂 and let you know that I have and currently do experience what you have. My saving me from myself has been my husband. Interestingly, how we came together, and stayed together, for 36 years, is truly something rare and special. There is no one who thought we would ever make it. Our age difference, my 2nd marriage and I had 3 children under 10 years old, his 4th marriage, no children. I mention this, I guess, to remind you and myself, keep trying not to push away everyone, if they are a positive influence for you and you for them. I may have over shared in my first reply and I apologize if I did. That would be the "mom" in me sensing a young person needing to be taken seriously. Shelley

Hi Helen, thank you for reaching out. I am not sure of anything about anything. Yes, I am aware that BPD is complex in symptoms, manifestations, diagnosis and treatment. As a mentor are you able to assist members with some questions? Thanx, Shelley

@shelleyw Your reply to @aneesa2632m was lovely because as you said you were sharing your own life experiences with a person you sensed could you use your support. That's very kind of you.

If a member asks me questions on Mayo Clinic Connect I do try to assist them. Also when one member asks questions this will often bring others into the discussion which can be very helpful to everyone. If someone asks me about something I cannot answer I will try to find the information or suggest who they might ask.

What would you like to ask?

I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually as a child. I was taught not to show my emotions so I pushed them down and led a “normal life.”
At age 50 an incident occurred that caused me to have a breakdown. I displayed signs of BPD. I disassociated, I was no longer able to make eye contact, my stutter came back, I was locked up for attempting suicide, having suicidal ideation, self harm and depression. I took flight instead of addressing an issue, I would go off my meds when I got mad at my doctor or therapist but of course it was only hurting me. I was a mess. I went through 6 therapists until I found one that fit and that took a few years. Good news is I have stayed on my meds for 4 years, haven’t been hospitalized, my therapist is awesome I don’t stutter I can, for the most part, look people in the eye and express myself. BPD is a diagnosis but it doesn’t define me. I am so much more than a disorder. I choose life, family, happiness and experiences.

Helen,
🤪this should make everyone at least laugh for a few seconds today..... I am too exhausted to even know what I want to ask you about. But, I am very appreciative your offer and I will definitely ask.
However, I may not active on the site, for a week or two, I have a surgery scheduled and I'm not sure what to expect really. But it is a positive surgery. Shelley

I recommend Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), a type of therapy specifically designed to treat people with BPD if/when you feel ready for working on change. I would call around for therapists who do this treatment modality. It can be very helpful to feeling more whole and in control of one's own life. People learn to accept themselves while learning to control emotions and have better social interactions. You can also check out the book and workbook. I'm a retired therapist and I found DBT helpful for both myself and clients!

@shelleyw I'm here when you want to ask questions. I hope the surgery goes well.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is mentioned by @msmerz You might like to look into it as it is a good approach for people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Also, DBT has a lot of research evidence in its favor as the approach has been around long enough to be well studied.