Sex after Prostatectomy - I'm the wife

Hello there,
I am not sure what your surgeon told you and your husband what to expect but I will share what I know from a good deal of research and my own personal experience.
I had a successful, (nerve sparing) RALP procedure done 11 months ago.
Most men are advised that it’s about a 6 to 24 month recovery period regarding one’s level of Incontinence and ED they experience following their surgery.
I’ve read about some men who didn’t experience any or very little Incontinence or ED issues following surgery but they are in a very small minority of patients.
There are a few options available to assist with getting an erection sufficient enough to have successful sexual intercourse.
1. Drugs like CIALIS or VIAGRA
2. A Penile Pump with a Penile Ring.
3. Penile Injections using a drug called TRIMIX.
You can research these to give you more information.
I’ve tried them all and have had the most success with the TRIMIX injections.
The injection process is not very painful. The needle is similar to the one’s that diabetics use to inject their insulin.
Generally, men (in addition to myself), get a very strong erection in about 5-10 minutes which will last about 1 hour.
I can still remain hard after an orgasm, (more often than not).
It’s quick and relatively easy to use and it’s pretty dependable and reliable so it takes away any anxiety about whether your husband is going to get an erection sufficient enough for successful and enjoyable sexual intercourse.
I would start with option 1. I would also recommend getting a good quality Penile Pump to help with general penile rehabilitation in addition to using it as an option to achieve an erection for sexual intercourse.
If the above two options don’t work, the 3rd option utilizing the TRIMIX injections are very reliable.
Everybody is different and men respond differently as they recover in the 6-24 month period following their surgery.
I can achieve about a 60% of a normal erection without using anything. I get just about hard enough to have intercourse but just not quite enough for a reliable sexual experience and my erection isn’t always dependable etc. Personally, when I can achieve and maintain at least a 75% normal erection I could have successful sexual intercourse without using anything. Time will tell!
The best thing to do is consult with your husband’s surgeon and urologist about the above options and have an open mind to try and utilize whatever works best.
I wish you and your husband the very best. My wife and I just turned 69 and we enjoyed a very good sexual relationship before my surgery. As a result, it was very important to me that I could be able to still have and enjoy sexual inter course with my wife.
There are many things to deal with in the recovery process and 3 months is not much time to assess what measure of recovery your husband will have and continue to achieve over the next 3 to 18 months.
The good news is that you both should be able to continue and enjoy your intimacy and sexual relationship with the options available.
GODSPEED

Here we are - another two months - still patiently waiting for the magic to come back

I had my successful, nerve sparing RALP with 100.% removed detectable cancer, it’s been an u a down affair. Have tried just about berthing except a surgical implanted device. CIALS prior to the surgery were and overwhelming success to assist me to achieve a very hard and rock solid erection. They’ve been totally worthless since my RALP. I finally went to the TRIMIX INJECTIONS and they work great, I am still and have always been very physically stimulated and sexually attracted to my wife. However, with the TRIMIX INJECTIONS, I can get a reliable and very usable erection within 5-20 minutes. I am definitely in the mood with an erection and I don’t have to worry about any anxiety creeping in whether I am going to achieve an effective erection or not prior to intercourse or if it’s going to last. The TRUMIX is 100% reliable for me. Very little discomfort and well worth the loss of total spontaneity. You will get nothing but positive comments from me when it comes to TRIMIX. I’ve been taking it for about a year and it’s never failed me once. My wife, like almost every woman I’ve ever been with definitely prefers a very firm erection compared to anything less.
Best wishes,
Try it out. You’ll either be happy and satisfied with it or you won’t!!!!!!

trimix has worked for me the best, however it does take the spur of the moment opportunity out of the picture. I was wondering how others have over come this challenge

Unfortunately, I went through prostate cancer with virtually little support, including the woman who I was married to for 26 years. Due to a diagnosis of bipolar and mental health illness, that now appears to be early onset of Parkinson's, everyone left except some really great friends. I have yet to find and have any intimate relations, but one of the best things I could do was to masterbate, have an erection and an orgasm. It raised my dopamine hormones and completely changed me. Parkinson's has become a catch all for low dopamine levels that when neurologist detect a movement disorder give that diagnosis. Using a DAAT scan you can see the issue. Mental health is purely behavioral and they have no idea how to detect it except for opinions with no independent actual concrete evidence. The drugs they give you are mostly SSRIs and mood stabilizers that further reduce your dopamine levels. Long story, but I went through my prostate being removed, having an emergency, drain put in after they called a code blue. I managed to drive f I'm Boston to Vermont to attend my son's wedding with a drain and only needing one nap. When I returned back to Boston something didn't seem right and I went to ER and they immediately contacted my urologist who with an RN took me to their outpatient facilities with me on a gurney, running as fast as they could. I had a camera put up my penis and through my urethra with only a small bit of pain killer around the camera. To say it was excruciating is an understatement. Even then I watched the screen while the doctor told me I wasn't completely healed before the Foley catheter and I was urinating out of the drain. 6 months later I had 35 radiation treatments, that were scheduled for 8 am MWF. It kicked my ass. It took years, but after having no prostate, one bundle of nerves gone l,nI do not need any injections, pills, pumps, or other products to achieve an erection. The body can heal itself if you give it the opportunity.

Today I visited my pulmonologist and after having been on all types of meds, remarked how great I looked, my weight is down, my O2 levels are great and my lungs have repaired a lot of damage that has been done over the years. He pulled me off of a med and the only one left for the lungs is being reduced and eventually gone.

He asked me what I was doing. Great diet, low carbs, fresh veggies and fruits, no added sugar, stay away from juices, high proteins, low fat meats, no beef or pork, fresh fish especially tuna and salmon. I don't count calories, carbs or even figure out what diet to call it. It works. I have done it before and am doing it now

Stress is a killer as is smoking, drinking and drugs legal or otherwise. Even doing too much of one thing combined with another at the same time can be a problem, regardless if it is holistic or not. Your body is going to detox and too much at one time will bite you in the butt and make you sick.

My advice: be patient, enjoy life, and stay in tune with what your body is telling you. At 59 almost 60, I have learned those that are left are remarkable people who took a number of issues, resolved them and moved forward to the next generation. Unfortunately most of our young adults do not understand some basic skills or subjects including all three of my children who are in there 30's and think they know it all since they are all college educated and finished school debt free because I paid their tuition, unlike me who had to work for practically every dime.

Great ! what was so good about the Pathology report ? This is the benefit of the operation, the pathology afterwards can be done and a very accurate one. Three months is not a huge amount of time , post surgery of this type . Give it at least 6 months . Look at the Tri-Mix Gel . no needle and about 4 different levels of strength. Works for many here in Canada . There are only a few pharmacies that compound it , so some phoning around may be required . Let us know how you make out . God Bless you both !

@greathealth545, I'm just catching up with your story now. Being abandoned by family, even those closest, is something familiar throughout the discussions on the forum. It sounds like you applied a survivor's spirit to tough diagnoses: bi-polar, prostate cancer and early on-set Parkinson's.

Did you know there's also a Parkinson's Disease support group/forum here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/parkinsons-disease/

May I ask if you have also incorporated exercise or physical activity into your lifestyle? If yes, what activities do you like to do?

Just read your post. I am six months out from surgery. I have an appointment in late August to talk to a urologist about TRIMIX injections both my oncologist and my surgeon strongly support the idea. Wish me luck!

The topical stuff I tried was absolutely worthless. Trying TRIMIX next month.

Best wishes with your TRIMIX therapy. It normally works very well. You have absolutely nothing to lose except better sex with your wife a lot more often,
Sounds pretty good to me.
Kindest regards,
Phil