Dementia: How to encourage her to go to the restroom? UTI concern

Posted by cking325 @cking325, Jul 13 8:38am

How to care for my mother-in-law I have her on a schedule she won’t go to the restroom when I tell her to go she says she doesn’t have to go it’s a struggle I’m afraid she might get an uti what to do

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@cking325

Yes I just let him read what you said he said he will do that thank you so much we get so overwhelmed and lost it’s nice to get opinions we never thought of thanks again 👍🏼

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@cking325 You are so right! The situations like you are in are just so difficult! have you thought about finding a geriatrician (a doctor who specializes in caring for the elderly)? They
will frequently have answers that we never thought of! Have you or your husband thought about a dementia care home?

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@cking325

Yes I just let him read what you said he said he will do that thank you so much we get so overwhelmed and lost it’s nice to get opinions we never thought of thanks again 👍🏼

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Every county has an Area Agency on Aging- suggest Google your's or call the town hall main number. Ask the AAA person for more info on the "Waiver" program. The state receives $$ to pay for home health aide hours for those considered to have or close to having nursing home care needs. The idea is to keep people longer out of a care facility, as almost everyone going in runs out of private funds and converts to Medicaid. The underlying idea is to provide services, especially for people who are in "kin care", to save the state alot
of money, while they are in a safe, supportive environment.
There is a financial qualifier, but why not ask for the information? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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maybe give her more to drink? Whatever she likes, juice (watered down), iced tea, soups or watermelon or other juicy fruits to make sure she is fully hydrated.

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I give her Organic tea and watered down. Cranberry juice per the doctor but I did give her ice tea with a bit of kiwi juice I squeezed it’s hard I feel the menu is the hardest..
This morning after not having a bowl movement in 3 days I was concerned I kept telling her get up please and go to bathroom I was between folding clothes back and forth I knew she had to go so she said I don’t t have to go se real times of this she says leave me alone I go upstairs to fix her breakfast come down she’s on her way out the bathroom with her night pants in hand I said what’s this she said well I had to poop so her night pants was soiled flour soiled all over toilet paper everywhere underwear in trash can after I cleaned up and washed her down I gave her a friend she threw it at me and said I’m not wearing this so now what HELPPPPPP

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@silverwolf66

Is that dr a Neurologist? A PCP is great for the basics but Dementia needs further investigation to ensure that nothing that could be fixable is missed. Dementia is not “just old age”. A Home Health Aide is not a Nurse. Usually, if insurance pays, the dr has to justify the needs on a regular basis but that is the easy part. Finding an Aide that will work with your mom’s dysfunction, respectfully, can be time consuming. But worthwhile. In the meantime, as my daughters tell me: “Breathe”🌸

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O gosh yes the nurse is really not needed no her doctor is not a neurologist she saw the neurologist about 6 months ago and has another appt in a few months but as I noticed everyday there is a change of worse like today this AM she had feces all over the bathroom
and told me unit was not hers I ignored that and cleaned up and gave a shower she sits on a chair in bathtub

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@centre

Every county has an Area Agency on Aging- suggest Google your's or call the town hall main number. Ask the AAA person for more info on the "Waiver" program. The state receives $$ to pay for home health aide hours for those considered to have or close to having nursing home care needs. The idea is to keep people longer out of a care facility, as almost everyone going in runs out of private funds and converts to Medicaid. The underlying idea is to provide services, especially for people who are in "kin care", to save the state alot
of money, while they are in a safe, supportive environment.
There is a financial qualifier, but why not ask for the information? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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Absolutely will do Thank you so much very valuable info👍🏼

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@cking325

I give her Organic tea and watered down. Cranberry juice per the doctor but I did give her ice tea with a bit of kiwi juice I squeezed it’s hard I feel the menu is the hardest..
This morning after not having a bowl movement in 3 days I was concerned I kept telling her get up please and go to bathroom I was between folding clothes back and forth I knew she had to go so she said I don’t t have to go se real times of this she says leave me alone I go upstairs to fix her breakfast come down she’s on her way out the bathroom with her night pants in hand I said what’s this she said well I had to poop so her night pants was soiled flour soiled all over toilet paper everywhere underwear in trash can after I cleaned up and washed her down I gave her a friend she threw it at me and said I’m not wearing this so now what HELPPPPPP

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maybe a stool softner every other day (check with Dr) might keep her "regular" and lots of water, fruits etc to provide fiber. Cooked oatmeal (2 min in microwave) with fruit-slices of apples, pears, raisins, also good source of fiber.

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@cking325

I give her Organic tea and watered down. Cranberry juice per the doctor but I did give her ice tea with a bit of kiwi juice I squeezed it’s hard I feel the menu is the hardest..
This morning after not having a bowl movement in 3 days I was concerned I kept telling her get up please and go to bathroom I was between folding clothes back and forth I knew she had to go so she said I don’t t have to go se real times of this she says leave me alone I go upstairs to fix her breakfast come down she’s on her way out the bathroom with her night pants in hand I said what’s this she said well I had to poop so her night pants was soiled flour soiled all over toilet paper everywhere underwear in trash can after I cleaned up and washed her down I gave her a friend she threw it at me and said I’m not wearing this so now what HELPPPPPP

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So sorry….that makes it tough. Sadly, resistance to care is not uncommon with dementia. It can be very challenging to manage the care of a loved one when they refuse to cooperate or resist care. My family is experiencing this now. Often, toileting issues are something the family caregivers are not able to manage in the home. I hope you can find some help.

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@cking325

O gosh yes the nurse is really not needed no her doctor is not a neurologist she saw the neurologist about 6 months ago and has another appt in a few months but as I noticed everyday there is a change of worse like today this AM she had feces all over the bathroom
and told me unit was not hers I ignored that and cleaned up and gave a shower she sits on a chair in bathtub

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I think, if I were you, I’d make a “soonest” appointment with the neuro, or at least see the PCP & emphasize that he/she needs to get help ASAP & have testing done now, not in 6 months. The thing is to get bold & stand up loud & often with healthcare providers😉

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@silverwolf66

I think, if I were you, I’d make a “soonest” appointment with the neuro, or at least see the PCP & emphasize that he/she needs to get help ASAP & have testing done now, not in 6 months. The thing is to get bold & stand up loud & often with healthcare providers😉

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Yes..my husband spoke nurse yesterday and made an appt
Thank you so much

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