Health anxiety, general unwell feeling

Posted by noendinsight @noendinsight, Jul 8 9:33am

Hi all, 47m
Just needed to vent and let it out.
I've been dealing with panic and anxiety for over 20 years. For the most part it's been somewhat under control with medication and some therapy. I don't do so well with therapy unless is just talking and letting it out like I'm doing now. My anxiety is focused on my heart and having heart attacks(never had one). I've had my ups and downs with it and currently I'm on a down swing. I also have pvcs that were pretty much under control but last summer after a mild bout with covid I noticed they started getting worse. My primary switched me from atenolol to metoprolol ER. Didn't feel much relief. At the same time I had a new psychiatrist and she started weaning me off of a benzo I've been taking for a few years because "it's not good long term" and their office doesn't prescribe them long term. She prescribed me gabapentin instead which did absolutely nothing. Fast forward to April/May, I was starting to feel burned out and didn't pay much attention but my anxiety was creeping up on me. I started to get panic attacks while driving to work, fatigue and general malaise. I also noticed I was having stomach issues and loss of appetite. My anxiety and depression was getting worse and I told my psychiatrist so she added buspirone to the mix. That seemed to help ever so slightly for a little bit but I was calling out sick from work because I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I've lost a little over 20 pounds since May. Eventually psychiatrist took me off of paxil and buspirone and switched me over to Lexapro. I found another psychiatrist that doesn't have a problem prescribing benzos as long as it doesn't go over a certain dose and I'm fine with that. I don't abuse drugs and I always follow the doctor's direction. I'm 3 weeks into Lexapro and I feel slightly better. I still have anxiety and fatigue but not as bad. I've been to the cardiologist and had a 7 day monitor and it did show pvcs but not enough for concern. I also had an echo of my heart and that was ok. Im still concerned with my heart, I still get anxious and restless about my heart. I'm constantly checking my pulse ox and doing research on my symptoms. I'm just to the point where I don't know what to do. I feel desperate for some relief. I keep feeling my pvcs and have all kinds sensations and feelings. Anyway, sorry for the long rant.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Heart Rhythm Conditions Support Group.

@samcal9977zz

We can simplify this entire issue. If your health is greatly impacted, it is certainly going to affect your thinking, moods and emotions.

We don't have to get into the specifics to know that if we have many medical problems, it is a constant emotional strain on us and that leading into worry generally and then worry about passing? That is all extremely normal.

I agree with another post...keep investigating, keep looking into aids to the medical problems. Do all that, absolutely.

And yes, use therapy as an aid.

Everything helps.

Might want to look into relaxation work, stress management and stress reduction. That can only help.

How much will it help? A powerful cure-all? Unlikely. Some help? Very likely.

And under stress reduction will include things like breathing exercises and meditation.

I was a violent crime victim. Kidnapped in 1982 and held for a time. About a year after I escaped, I started to have panic attacks. I was able to control them through breathing exercises. I really don't remember how long it took for that to work. I think it probably started to help after a few months and really did the trick after a year or two.

Meditation has helped as well. It is, for most of us, not an easy discipline. I have a good meditation maybe 1 out of every 20 times I sit down. However, every time I sit down it helps some. And if I am extremely agitated, it almost always helps out.

There are thousands of different forms of meditation. The field is very very very vast. So, not only would the goal to be a meditation practice, but finding the form that is really suited to your particular needs.

You might want to start with something very simple. Like just taking time to listen to some gentle classical music. Mozart is said to be very good for relaxation. A nice walk on the beach or in the mountains is itself a meditation. Takes the mind to a more relaxed place. Even fishing in a quiet place is a meditation. Without doing any techniques. Just relaxing the mind is itself a meditation.

So, you know, might want to start off there. And this is all discussed in the discipline of stress reduction and stress management.

My wife and I like nature relaxation videos. Here's one we like...and the company that makes them, makes a bunch that we like. Many available on You Tube for free. It's made by a young guy, in this 20s, a hiker who just likes nature:

this one is beautiful aerial footage of Scotland (Isle of Skye) with some relaxing music:


and I will leave you with one breathing exercise.

Now, this is art, craft, as much as a technique. Like with meditation...sometimes you hit the target, sometimes you don't.

We use "key" words to stimulate an effect. The words, in themselves don't mean much. They are a tool to "get to a place."

Any time you try and describe techniques like this, it immediately sounds like new age nonsense.

But breathing techniques are very very widely used and recognized as having benefit. And by very mainstream sources.

Many professional athletes regularly use breathing techniques.

Anyway...so here it is.

Just sit in a chair, in a quiet room without distractions. Just take five minutes to start and just sit in the chair..do nothing, no techniques, just rest your bones...period. Just take five minutes to let that sit in, that you are now in your "relaxation" time and you don't have to spend it worrying about the bills or whatever else is in your life.

Just relax.

Then, to the breathing.

The phrase is..."when you breathe in, imagine you are breathing in peace." "Imagine that you are not breathing in air, but breathing in peace."

Now those words sound like nonsense. But what we are actually doing is using those words, to train the mind...even the unconscious mind, to just let go of the stress. That is the work. The words don't mean anything, unless they help you establish that connection.

You breathe in. Relax. Imagine that the breath is relaxing you. Exhale. Imagine that all the stress is leaving you when you exhale.

You breathe in and relax...you exhale and let all the stress go with the breath as you exhale.

And that is it. Period.

And just do that for a few minutes. And, I do mean, maybe 3 minutes max.

Other words that people connect to: calm, tranquility, serenity, ease...whatever works for you.

It is a technique. And if you get good at it, it can really attack stress levels. Like I said, I was kidnapped. In the real world, people wanted me dead. Like anyone I had real fears. These goons were never caught by the police.
I had real fears.

But even in that kind of scenario, it is still a choice whether to let your mind dwell on the possibilities and the fears...or to simply divert your mind to something else. Oh, a memory of walking on a beach at sunset. Simple, simple stuff.

Now, the mind can get triggered. The amygdala can capture the mind, and put you in fear or flight. That is that kind of animal "brain." And that does not want to give up control easily. But, it actually can be controlled...to varying degrees.

And it can be as simple as allowing the mind to be absorbed into something peaceful, pleasant, calm.

I would say the analogy is like this. Someone just got mugged. Lost a lot of money and was in fear of their life. You see them 5 minutes after the event. They are in that moment of the fear. Trying telling that person, in that moment, to just give up thinking about the mugging. That is the kind of tug of war between a powerful force pushing you to dwell on fear and worry...and that tiny tiny voice trying to move you somewhere else.

It is a big big big fight.

But, if you enter into the breathing exercise day after day, a few minutes each day...bit by bit, you can learn to calm things down. Like I said, for me...about 3 months to start to feel some relief and a good 1 to 2 years to really get a powerful impact where I could say...I really don't get panic attacks anymore.

And, experiencing what I have an knowing what I know...I absolutely can not say this will work for you. It might.

Again, the idea here is that a lot of people quit before the expertise rises to a level that will make a difference.

take care now...

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Beautiful

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@noendinsight

You have nothing to be ashamed about. Thank you for replying. The benzo that's helped me is clonazepam. Its a longer lasting one. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of that.

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Thanks so much. That’s what I take . I try so hard to take a small amount. I need it daily . May I ask how long you have been on it ? Have you noticed any memory issues. I am 57.

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@skullbasecancer4

Thanks so much. That’s what I take . I try so hard to take a small amount. I need it daily . May I ask how long you have been on it ? Have you noticed any memory issues. I am 57.

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I've taken it for a little over 5 years and I'm on the lowest dose twice a day. As far as memory goes, I'm not really sure. I do have some short term issues but it could be from stress and anxiety

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@noendinsight

I've taken it for a little over 5 years and I'm on the lowest dose twice a day. As far as memory goes, I'm not really sure. I do have some short term issues but it could be from stress and anxiety

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I agree. Feel the same way . It does not make me sleep , I wish it did . So I need to take something for sleep . Do you ? Anxiety is so debilitating . I am so sorry . I am so scared my doc will cut me off .

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Btw. I have had all of your symptoms too. Loss of appetite, anxiety , fatigue . I can understand your concerns over your heart . I understand , everything you are going thru . Same issues with me , concerning therapy . I completely understand .

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@skullbasecancer4

I agree. Feel the same way . It does not make me sleep , I wish it did . So I need to take something for sleep . Do you ? Anxiety is so debilitating . I am so sorry . I am so scared my doc will cut me off .

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No, I don't take anything for sleep. No need to apologize, these message boards are here for. We've gotta support each other when we can .

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I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Anyone that has not experienced anxiety cannot understand how debilitating it is. I have had anxiety on some level for as long as I can remember and feel panic attacks as soon as I think of having to drive or be in groups of people. This was never the case for me 10 years ago as I was very successful in my job. I am 72 now and retired and sit with my anxiety daily because I rarely have anything else to do. Thankfully, I have a doctor who is very understanding, and I have been taking benzos for the length of my problem. He feels that if they are doing the trick, and the dose is not that high, which compared to many it is not, that I am fine sticking with them. Something out there has made us think that this type of medication is bad and we are weak people for needing it. I don’t know where that came from but I know that I frequently tell myself I need to be able to stop taking this. Normal people don’t need these things. Well, over the last couple of weeks I’ve decided that’s a crock!! My daughter visited recently because I’d become too anxious to even fly. She left me with a book on anxiety and suggested I might want to see a therapist. She also supported my need to stick with benzos based on the alternative. I can take this medication and be calm and get things done or I can be a buzzing mess all day, checking my blood pressure every hour to make sure I’m not gonna die any minute. I have an ascending aortic aneurysm that is checked annually, but not in a good place in my aorta should I need surgery. My aorta and your heart are making us crazy! I think we both need to quit worrying about something that is not happening right now and take charge of our lives. I hope you are able to find a doctor that can give you the medication you need to live your life without this horrible feeling. I was even concerned about moving up from the dose I was originally given, which is only .5 mg once a day. I now take anywhere from .75 to 1.0 mg. There are folks out there without anxiety that take 6 mg or more just to feel better. I am taking mine to be able to live my life. Only within the last week or so have I decided that I am fine and I will get through this. I truly hope you can too.

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@carolinlv

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Anyone that has not experienced anxiety cannot understand how debilitating it is. I have had anxiety on some level for as long as I can remember and feel panic attacks as soon as I think of having to drive or be in groups of people. This was never the case for me 10 years ago as I was very successful in my job. I am 72 now and retired and sit with my anxiety daily because I rarely have anything else to do. Thankfully, I have a doctor who is very understanding, and I have been taking benzos for the length of my problem. He feels that if they are doing the trick, and the dose is not that high, which compared to many it is not, that I am fine sticking with them. Something out there has made us think that this type of medication is bad and we are weak people for needing it. I don’t know where that came from but I know that I frequently tell myself I need to be able to stop taking this. Normal people don’t need these things. Well, over the last couple of weeks I’ve decided that’s a crock!! My daughter visited recently because I’d become too anxious to even fly. She left me with a book on anxiety and suggested I might want to see a therapist. She also supported my need to stick with benzos based on the alternative. I can take this medication and be calm and get things done or I can be a buzzing mess all day, checking my blood pressure every hour to make sure I’m not gonna die any minute. I have an ascending aortic aneurysm that is checked annually, but not in a good place in my aorta should I need surgery. My aorta and your heart are making us crazy! I think we both need to quit worrying about something that is not happening right now and take charge of our lives. I hope you are able to find a doctor that can give you the medication you need to live your life without this horrible feeling. I was even concerned about moving up from the dose I was originally given, which is only .5 mg once a day. I now take anywhere from .75 to 1.0 mg. There are folks out there without anxiety that take 6 mg or more just to feel better. I am taking mine to be able to live my life. Only within the last week or so have I decided that I am fine and I will get through this. I truly hope you can too.

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Thank you so much for your response. It is very helpful to hear from someone who understands. Fortunately I did switch psychiatrists and my new psychiatrist is not afraid of prescribing benzos. He understands that if it's needed it's needed. I'm not feeling back to "normal" yet as I'm also on a new antidepressant that hopefully will help as well.

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@noendinsight

Thank you so much for your response. It is very helpful to hear from someone who understands. Fortunately I did switch psychiatrists and my new psychiatrist is not afraid of prescribing benzos. He understands that if it's needed it's needed. I'm not feeling back to "normal" yet as I'm also on a new antidepressant that hopefully will help as well.

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I truly hope everything works out for you and sooner rather than later! It’s wonderful just to have more good days than bad sometimes. I have to rid myself of this anxiety, or I can never hope to get rid of my stomachaches, headaches, and the constipation I know it is causing. Good luck to you, and check in anytime you need someone to commiserate with.😉

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@skullbasecancer4

I totally understand. I suffer from anxiety , depression and insomnia . I am under extreme stress, due to my husband’s cancer diagnosis. I admire you to have the courage to change meds . I am stuck and fear everything . I don’t abuse drugs either . I do take benzo’s for the past two years . I am ashamed and very scared . I have a therapist . My anxiety is also heightened by Covid . What Benzos helped you ? I can’t sleep at all without a sleeping pill . I know that’s terrible . I am sorry for the rant too.

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I have been taking generic Xanax .5 mg for 5+ years and generic Halcion for sleep .25 mg. Both are benzos. My doctor prescribed clonazepam for me a few years ago, but it did not provide the same help as the Xanax and was not any better for my body, so he moved me back to the original. I have taken this combo for sometime now without any negative affects. I am suffering a little bit of short-term memory loss, but I’m not yet putting my keys in the refrigerator! I’m chalking that up to my age and heredity. Good luck to you and I hope you find the answers you need. I am researching medications and help for this every day. Nothing new has surfaced, but this group has been very helpful.

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