Dementia: How to encourage her to go to the restroom? UTI concern

How old is your mom? Has she been struggling with dementia for a long time? Have you tried telling her something like:
Hey Mom—it had been awhile since you peed. Please try going now. If she resists, put an incontinence brief on her. Then, wait a couple of hours & repeat the process. She will either start going to the bathroom when you ask or she will soil the brief. Good Luck.

It can be stressful. I’m dealing with something similar. My dad thinks he has to go a lot and stays and stays. It’s a huge issue. Meds are helping some.

Have you tried keeping her in pullups? I might discuss it with her doctor for guidance. It’s very difficult to get cooperation, if the person is not able to process information.

Caring for someone in the home after a certain point is extremely challenging without professional help. We are exploring options now.

Yes we made a Docs appt and just feels like we just going with the glow not much can be done I guess I’m so tired trying to handle every situation but hard she’s wants her way she throws her washcloth in toilet says she washed her face and brush her teeth she don’t she’s starting to not wipe herself very defiant not sure how to talk to her j try to be nice that doesn’t work I tried speaking to her like the nurses at hospital did when she was in there from falling out of bed hittin her head that works a little I don’t know but when my husband tells her to do something 90% of time she listens to him so it’s quite a challenge

I am a retired nurse and worked in Home Health Care a few years. If her health insurance covers the cost for an Aide to come in & relieve you for a few hours so that you can get some “me time”, out of the home, I think that you might benefit from that.

Yes we have a nurse all she does is take her vital signs and ask her a few questions and leaves that’s it we had 2other that came they came for 3 weeks and said we are doing good with her and left we are not she firs not listen and I get it she has dementia she has Kaiser and they had five something for the nurse to come but honestly it us not helping we also take her to the doctors she gets her vital signs done we tell the doc what’s going on she says she’s old and the Dementia is getting worse WE KNOW THIS it’s frustrating

It’s a road of pure heartache and I wish this on no one I realize this morning after doing a lot of thinking last nite it’s just us and we have to deal with this horrific illness.I feel for the folks that have 2 loved ones that are ill and no one to help today is a new day and all we can do is make the best of it
The I honestly don’t see the money that goes out to Medicare at all it’s not spent correctly nurse after nurse nothing to really say that it was a great help even one day a week that type of assistance we have to pay for
Have a Blessed day all

Maybe you can try to incorporate your husband's connection with her by having him specifically back you up when you suggest something to her. I don't know your situation, but something like, "Yes, that's a good idea!' If she listens to him and can possibly understand that HE thinks you are "right", maybe she will accept your help more. And maybe, a bit later, he can talk with her and explain how much he better he will feel if she listens to you.
Something like this...

Thank you so much I bought the briefs I’m going to try it today 👍🏼

Yes I just let him read what you said he said he will do that thank you so much we get so overwhelmed and lost it’s nice to get opinions we never thought of thanks again 👍🏼

Is that dr a Neurologist? A PCP is great for the basics but Dementia needs further investigation to ensure that nothing that could be fixable is missed. Dementia is not “just old age”. A Home Health Aide is not a Nurse. Usually, if insurance pays, the dr has to justify the needs on a regular basis but that is the easy part. Finding an Aide that will work with your mom’s dysfunction, respectfully, can be time consuming. But worthwhile. In the meantime, as my daughters tell me: “Breathe”🌸