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Husband diagnosed MCI: He is in denial and personality is changing
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jul 12, 2024 | Replies (146)Comment receiving replies
Hello. Thank you for your kind message. I’ve tried to manage all this for too long and now I just want out. I have a 30 percent of my breast cancer returning- I can’t help that, just like he can’t help what’s happening to him. I resent the inference that the spouses of partners of someone with cognitive impairment- mild or otherwise- are somehow meant to soldier on and be supportive. If you met someone and they were a socialist and then. over the course of your relationship , became a fascist, would you stay with them? No. I reject the notion that the partner must suffer at the expense of the one with MCI. I have a supportive and loving friendship network- that’s where my heart is, not with this person I no longer recognise . I know longer care that this sounds brutal - yet another night alone while he goes to ‘his’ room
Replies to "Hello. Thank you for your kind message. I’ve tried to manage all this for too long..."
@cathyfrench99 Have you given any thought to taking a 1-2 month sabatical? It could be a wonderful chance to get your health and sanity back. This time could also be used to plan for the future—with your husband or alone. you could call the Agency on Aging in your town and find out about respite care facilities. Do you have any caregiving support groups in your area?
Contact all the groups in your area and see what you can learn from them.
whatever decision you make, it will be your decision alone. how do you think you husband would react to your leaving, even for a short time?
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I do not believe you need to stay with him. I may not remain with my husband if his behavior becomes just too much. I am 69 and he is a physically fit 82 y.o.
It would take a lot of effort but I would set him up so that he is physically safe. I am currently not even willing to go away for three nights because he may forget to walk the dog. But, in some areas he is still high functioning, but I am seeing slippage each month. I have been very fortunate; I have lived with a chronic illness since he has known me and he has always been by my side . In terms of the “inferences “ from others that you mention . Don’t take them personally. No one is living your life. Do what you need to do.