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Husband diagnosed MCI: He is in denial and personality is changing
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jul 12 7:09am | Replies (146)Comment receiving replies
Hello. I’m 57 and my partner is 64. In brief, I got breast cancer 6 years ago - mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, the lot He was pretty hopeless during my treatment - didn’t know or want to care for me. For some reason, maybe Covid, we stayed the course. Fast forward 6 years and he was diagnosed with MCI by one consultant and told he’d simply ‘ lost his mojo’ by another and that his brain scans were reassuringly clear . All I know, is on a day to day level I mostly hate him and feel too guilty to leave. He makes nice days awful, refuses to go places and tells me “ I don’t like you” We’ve been together 23 years and I left my husband for him. Why oh why does no one on here just say, I’ve had enough, I’m done and leave their MCI partner? This is NOT the person we knew, would we stay with an alien? Aaargh xx
Replies to "Hello. I’m 57 and my partner is 64. In brief, I got breast cancer 6 years..."
@cathyfrench99. Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! I’m glad you found this wonderful, caring group of individuals. I just know that they will come to your aid with lots of tips and tricks. In the meantime, you’ve found yourself in a really difficult position. Is there someone that you can talk to, like a counselor or member of your church? You want to think through this dilemma carefully before you act because you actions are final. Let’s see what other members have to say.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. My husband can sometimes say mean things that he would never have said before dementia took it's toll. But mostly he's still loving and grateful for any little thing I do for him. I can't imagine living with mean hubby 24/7.
If you need to prioritize your own well being, do it!
I would recommend speaking with an attorney so that you are protected legally and financially.
We are not professionals and at some point it may come to a place where it's best for both partners to be apart.
Praying you can find the peace you need and for your health . Blessings
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You are still young. With many years to live. Are there any other friends or family members who can help out?
Even if you get out of the house for several hours each day that might ease some of the burden of his presence. Sometimes I can’t stand my husband’s behavior toward me. I no that it is not his fault and I try to employ empathy. That helps. But his personality is changed and not only have to deal with his irritability and nastiness I also help him manage his life
The best thing I have done for myself is that now I spend most nights sleeping in my cozy study.