anxiety as a teenager

Hi Kari,

I'm very sorry to hear about all of this. I have gone through the same, and I remember it happening to me as a teenager.

Can I ask what you have tried before? Sounds like you have tried a psychiatrist. Every been to a therapist? Are the adults in your life at least willing to help you get medical attention, or are they hard to even get that from them?

What are your main symptoms? Do you feel physical symptoms? Racing thoughts? A general feeling of unease? I'd be curious to know how it feels for you.

This information might help me give you some suggestions.

@starphobia,

I am glad you reached out for suggestions. So many teenagers and adults feel same way you do.

Do you journal. You mentioned trying to sort out you thoughts. Sometimes it just helps to write it down. Does not have to be spelled correctly just write down what you're thinking. Sometime it is great way to vent when there is no one else listening.

Check out this post about Journaling and how to start, @gingerw has great suggestion:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/?pg=39#comment-1065217
I noticed you commented on the "Let's go Walking" discussion, great option, physical activity. I always feel better after a walk for no other reason than I did something.

Have you looked at volunteer opportunity. That might sound like odd suggestion for someone with social anxiety, but if look for a volunteer activity that are done as individual, it is a start. From individual volunteer activities, it might expand to meeting other individuals. Is there a local pet shelters who are looking for volunteers to walk dogs.

You mention you tried a med, but made it worse. First anti-depression I took had same effect. Unfortunately anti-depression / anti-anxiety drugs can sometimes be a trial and error process. Did you talk to the provider who prescribe about trying a different drugs?

Please let us know what you try and how it works, it might help someone else in same situation.

@starphobia Kari, thanks for joining us here on Mayo Clinic Connect. I for one, am glad you're here, and I bet there are others who are happy to see in writing the exact same way they might be feeling right now!

Just getting your thoughts out onto keyboard or paper can do wonders to help you understand yourself. Write yourself a letter, talking about the anxiety and fears. And then keep writing. Do a question and answer. I did that once when I took a journaling class, using one hand to write questions, the other hand to answer.

Did the psychiatrist ever come up with a source of your anxiety? I think that would be important for you to know. As @roch said, sometimes we need to try different medications to find one that is the best one for us. And you mentioned exercise in another post, always a great help! Get those endorphins moving.

-Walk your dog [or a neighbor's].
-Did you go to a store and see someone wearing a cool outfit? Tell them! It doesn't need to be a long conversation.
-Smile at someone you don't know. I bet they smile back! And, you know, try it again and again. It'll become a habit.

We all have days of feeling anxiety. It's a human condition. Figuring out why we feel it all the time can be a challenge, but it can be rewarding when we are able to do things to make it less prevalent. Please give yourself credit for coming here and talking to us! I look forward to hearing from you again.
Ginger

Hi Kari,

I'm sorry to hear about what you're experiencing right know. I want to start by saying that anxiety is no joke. And by no means is it something people 'choose' to experience in order to get attention. I mean, sheesh, if people thinking this could only understand what it feels like, I'm sure they'd agree it's not for attention.
I've experienced the same as a teenager, on some bad days I sometimes still do. Luckily I've learned to cope with it better, even though at that time I never thought I could! I recognize a lot of the feelings you're describing. The part where you wrote: "i drown out my own emotions and put on a smile and a show because i don’t want to be a burden to people i don’t want to be in their way like i always have been." really resonated with the way I've tried to cope with my anxiety too.
It saddens me since this can get quite lonely, so I think it's awesome you are still opening up about it!!! That may be more powerful then you realise 🙂

Here are some suggestions you can try that have helped me before. You don't need to try them all at once. Remember that every little step counts and is a step towards kicking anxiety's ass ;)!

- Journaling really worked to slow my superfast chaotically anxious brain down. It doesn't matter if it is realistic or if it makes sense, it is just for you, just to function as a brain dump. And if you dislike it, you can toss it out later.
- Try to notice (or if possible, towrite down) the things that are going neutral/ okay!
(For me, trying to only write down positives, was a step to big for me. It resulted in me overanalyzing if it was "positive enough" to write down, which resulted in me writing nothing down, so I started in smaller steps by writing down).
For example: 'I made the effort to shower and get dressed today, I made lunch, I walked outside today, I saw a fluffy dog' (if you like animals like I do). Or: 'I actually wrote something down today even though I didn't want to.'
Ofcourse you can add the positives too! Like if you saw something funny, exciting or cute.
- Spend time outside. No matter how tempting: my anxiety tends to worsen when I stay on the couch and on my phone. If I start ruminating, I'll listen to a story podcast while walking outside.
- Move your body. Walking is really good! Any type of movement is good really.
You can also shake your body to loosen muscles that may tighten up cause of anxiety. Start by shaking one foot while standing and then the other foot. Then shake your whole leg, then the other. Then your hands, arms and shoulders. See how you feel after 🙂
- Keep opening up to people like you're doing already. There are definately people who understand! Online and IRL. Sharing and staying connected about topics and feelings that matter for you, can help you feel like you're alone in experiencing this. There's power in vulnerability.
My therapist a few years ago recommended Brene Brown about the topic of sharing/ vulnerability. You can check out her TedTalk on Youtube. I've enjoyed and learned a lot from her book called 'The Gift of Imperfection'.
- Counseling or therapy might help too, I know for me it helped a lot. It helped me to learn healthier coping skills for anxiety that I still use.
- Like mentioned above: medication works differently for everyone. The first one I've tried also did'nt work for me. If it it's something you're okay with to try again, maybe another type of med will work better.

I wish you all the best! If you would like to know more, please don't hesitate to ask 🙂

Hi Kari!

I was wondering how you were doing at the moment. I've been in a bit of an anxiety spiral the last week and feeling quite restless. (I must admit I did not always do the thins I know are good for me, so that didn't help :').) When I get overwhelmed by anxiety, I tend to try and over analyze why I feel anxious and what I should change about it. But by over analyzing it, I'm more so repressing it, instead of processing it, so what to do?

Yesterday I remembered something I've learned in therapy. It was a poem by Rumi, which still helps me a lot in learning to sit with my emotions in order to process them. I searched for the poem again online and found a short blog about how it has worked for this person as well: https://www.lomyrick.com/blog/the-guest-house-rumi

The poem goes as follows:

“The Guest House” by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

— Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks (The Essential Rumi)

I hope it helps you a bit as wel!

Here are some resources for anxiety. I keep trying one strategy after another until I find one that works.

You will have to sign in with SmartPatients.com to view the resources.
https://www.smartpatients.com/conversations/resources-for-anxiety#top

Here's something from a teenager on the national broadcast radio, a podcast on Canadian Broadcasting Corp: What Can I do When I am Anxious?

I (Over five times older than the presenter, Tai) listened to and found truly informative and HELPFUL -- Not just for teens!
https://www.cbc.ca/listen/cbc-podcasts/204-tai-asks-why