Husband (43) showing signs of Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI): Anyone?

My husband had his first major bleed 5 years ago (he was 62 years old), several micro-spells over the course of these 5 years and another major bleed 2 years ago - all which led to a Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy(CAA) diagnosis. This is a horrible disease with no cure creates a lifestyle full of uncertainty. After the second bleed the state took his driving privileges away but he is obsessed with trying to get them reinstated. Simply said - CAA is where amyloid (protein) collects in the vessels in the brain thereby causing spontaneous bleeds that interfere with brain's ability to fully function. My husband's bleeds occurred in the areas of the brain that impact his judgement, speech, reading and processing. Physically he has always been very athletic and fit - he appears to still maintain that - with the exception of tremors in his left hand. He plays golf and watches alot of TV. He refuses to believe that he has something wrong with him - my heart breaks as I try to understand how to create a positive and loving home environment. He believes the brain bleeds occured because he drank wine and traveled extensively as a busy consultant - the wine being the culprit. He no longer drinks wine but now thinks beer is ok. So every night he drinks beer and enjoys our mealtimes. Meals have always been an important place for family connections. He is a strong personality and was placed on Seroquel to help calm his brain and reactions - I have had it reduced two times and the small amount he remains on is so necessary. He still gets easily frustrated - blames you or others for not understanding what he is trying to communicate. I realize that this is better than most of you may experience but I am truly drained - I do have alot of family emotional support - we do not live close to many of our family members and our kids are all grieving their Dad as well as caught up in their own children's lives......most have young babies and all have busy high pressure careers. I ask for help from them every couple of months so they can plan it out....and I can go off and get a break - my husband isn't happy about it and doesn't understand why I need to get away. I could share more but I do want to end on a positive note - taking a deep breath and living a life focused on joy and positivity helps! My heart is broken for anyone living with CAA or any related condition. All we can do is trust in our faith and lean on family and friends.

I am 72 years old, my mom died of Dementia in her mid 80's; my dad lived to early 80's and died of congestive heart failure. No dementia history on my dad's side. Lots on my mom's side.

My 74 year old sister has a rapidly worsening dementia and is waiting for a bed to open in a memory care facility. My 70 year old brother has a different version . . .more stroke like/language/word finding issues with odd visual skills decline - he struggles to read, has tremors that are Parkinsons like. But his progression has been much slower and not like our sisters.

My youngest brother ,age 68 and me age 72, do not have any indications of dementia or mci and yes, we have shared the history with every doctor we see.

I had breast cancer in 2019 and still see doctors at the cancer center. They always for updates on family history and are aware of the history of dementia. They advised me to participate in a study being done at USF, I live in Fla. At first I thought it was to get me diagnosed early so I declined. Next visit they stressed it again, I told them my thoughts and they told me that the old studies were focused on the Dementia Patients and not yielding a lot. They have shifted many studies now to relatives of dementia patients who DO NOT seemed to get dementia and are trying to find out the differences in family groups. Why one brother and one sister and not the other brother and other sister, in other words. I am in year 2 of the study, have one more year to go (only active for a window of about 6 weeks each year). I do video games on a computer that are complicated and stressful, but I complete the series and my accuracy rate increases which is good. They are hoping that the study will indicate a delaying effect in the onset of symptoms of dementia and/or some preventative impact. It is very, very hard to have a loved one with dementia . . . I cared for my mom for 4 long years. I see my sister in law and brother in law caring for my siblings in the same way and see the difficulty from a different perspective. My family believes that genetics are the biggest factor. My mom, older sister and next youngest brother all have very similar look/personalities. My youngest brother and I (no issues yet) more closely resemble our father who, while he had a lot of heart problems, was mentally sharp into his mid 80's. It was very hard to get to the point that I acted upon getting a placement for my mom. Has been hard for my BIL as well, but they finally reached a safety point where my sister has to go to a memory care facility. I stayed hard ever after my mom was placed, but in a different way and I had time to myself that I needed so that I didn't get sick myself. My BIL and SIL will often call and talk to me about what they are experiencing. I tell them that I will share my WORST mistakes in caring for our mom, maybe they won't apply in their case, but if they do, maybe they won't make the same ones! The issues are pretty universal.

Hi @yinyin, I want to add my welcome and to check in. I think you might find this blog article helpful written by Mayo MCI expert Dr. Chandler:
- Is it Denial or Something Else? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/living-with-mild-cognitive-impairment-mci/newsfeed-post/is-it-denial-or-something-else/

Excerpt
"this "refusal" to admit to memory loss or inability to see it isn't defensiveness at all. A person with MCI or dementia often has another change in ability - the ability to see themselves clearly."

Sometimes it can help to have someone else be involved like a social worker perhaps? Would it help if you asked him to explain certain aspects of the family finances to you - one step at a time? How are you doing?

Absolutely brilliant. Thank you. Anybody dealing with and desperately trying to cope with a recent MCI diagnosis should read this publication. It explained so much about the possible cause of “denial” and has certainly helped me understand my spouses “living on the perimeter” and not engaging and embracing life.

Welcome @happypappy2, you might also wish to join members like you in some of the discussions on Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy (CAA) here as well: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/search/discussions/?search=Cerebral%20Amyloid%20Angiopathy

Get a journal and start notating odd behavior. It will be helpful to you to see how it all adds up. Yes, condiment oddities. Russian Dressing on your potatoes..really? When you write it down and read it back to yourself, it is less likely for you to sweep it under the rug. It keeps you from thinking it is you and that you are just getting picky as you age along with your husband. Trust me, you are on to something; you have the "oh oh" feeling for good reason.
Your intuition is on high alert. Listen to it. My husband has been diagnosed with ALZ, but I can look back at my notes and see the journey.