Want Some Advice on Managing Stress and Anxiety

Welcome Marcos @marcosandrew, I think we all need to learn how to better manage stress and anxiety. There are quite a few discussions, comments and newsfeed posts on the topic on Connect. Here's a link to the search results you might find helpful - https://connect.mayoclinic.org/search/newsfeedposts/?search=managing%20stress%20and%20anxiety.

Also, I had the opportunity to listen to Dr. Amit Sood a few years ago and thought he has a lot of good advice along with some really great videos - https://www.amitsood.com/adults. Here is one of my favorite's where he explains how the brain works - Happy Brain: How to Overcome Our Neural Predispositions to Suffering.

While you wait for other members to respond, Here are a couple of books by Dr. Amit Sood you might find helpful.

-- The Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness: A Four-Step Plan for Resilient Living: https://www.amazon.com/Mayo-Clinic-Handbook-Happiness-Four-Step/dp/0738217859/ref=pd_lpo_sccl_1/138-2364881-7388365
-- SMART with Dr. Sood: The Four-Module Stress Management And Resilience Training Program:
https://www.amazon.com/SMART-Dr-Sood-Four-Module-Management/dp/0999552546

@marcosandrew Marcos, you started a good discussion that many of us need and I appreciate the specific topics that interest you. Here is my question to you and then my thoughts. Does anxiety and stress interfere with your sleep? Maybe this is something you already know but I have learned that anxiety and stress can affect sleep and then the less sleep I get the more stressed and anxious I feel. It's cyclical. There is a psychological approach called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) and I use some of the principles that are working for me.

1. I set regular going to bed and getting up hours for myself. I do deviate a little from those hours on the weekends.
2. I spend about an hour "winding down" before my going to bed time. I stop using digital devices like my phone, computer, and the TV. We don't have a TV in the bedroom. I often read during that time.
3. I use my Apple Watch to remind me of my winding down time and going to bed.
4. I don't use my phone or computer in bed - unless I'm really ill which I have done.
5. I've stopped drinking anything with caffeine after about 1 or 2 pm in the afternoon. I often have coffee after lunch and that's my last for the day. I do get an afternoon slump sometimes but I try to drink water and get up and move around.
6. No napping after 4 pm. I used to do this, especially on the weekends and stopped doing that.
7. I work out most days and do that in the morning.
8. This is a hard one for me. No pets in the bedroom. I love having our animals on our bed but they wake me up during the night.

Here is a resource for learning more about CBT-I. You asked for applications and I know there are several Apps you can find for your phone by using the search term CBT-I.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I): A Primer:
-- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10002474/

Mayo Clinic, Insomnia Treatment:
- https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/insomnia/in-depth/insomnia-treatment/art-20046677

Apps: CBT-i Coach (developed by the VA and is no cost).

I put in earbuds and use a few different meditation apps - Declutter, Calm, and Shuteye are my favorites - Declutter and Shuteye have areas that are free to use so you don't have to buy subscriptions to use.
I also joined the Health Anxiety University online its on Skool Platform. It is run by Dennis Simsek, cost is $24 a month. It has helped me learn new ways to accept and learn new way of life with anxiety. Its not a cure all but I'm still learning.

There are some great tips upthread. I have found the following helps me. I’m learning things that help every day.

Seeing a therapist has helped me immensely. I do most of the talking, but I learn new things each session. I’ve learned how to redirect my anxiety and focus on how the scary event isn’t such a huge thing after all. Let the adrenaline go, because I’m not actually in danger.

I watch standup comedy on tv. It’s surprising how many of them struggle with anxiety/depression.

I try to think more about the positive things and not the negative. It’s temporary and will pass.

Keep thinking about how in the scheme of life, it’s not that bad. Breathe deep and think about how fortunate I am to breathe, walk, see and feel.

Practicing gratefulness has been extremely important to me. I have much to enjoy and need to give back. I try to do something for others at least twice a week.

I try to eat right and attend to my health issues. Exercise really makes me feel less anxious. As does spending time with my friends. I have friends who are fighting cancer and dealing with immobility.

I try to get a dialogue going in my head that soothes me when stress is building. I say, it’s only a car, not a person. It’s only money, nothing of real value. I can’t control what others think, only my own emotions. As long as I do the right thing, I’ll have peace within. No matter how severe the storm rages around me, I am safe and I have peace inside. No one will rob me of my happiness.

Playing music and dancing right in my own living room brings me joy. Music feeds my soul and takes me to a different mental state.

I have also done deep relaxation with you tube videos.

Hello,

There is a conversation on SmartPatients.com with lots of strategies for stress and anxiety. You will need to register with SmartPatients.com to view the conversation.

There was an excellent, comprehensive link about both stress reduction and stress management.

I think the website is now defunct...but there is that "Way Back Machine" which allows folks to access old websites.

So, maybe you can find it through that.

It was called Holistic Online.

and here is the link to the Internet Archive's "Way Back Machine"

So, there are, let us say, two aspects.

One is stress reduction and the other is stress management.

So, with stress reduction, you are talking about techniques like meditation and Hatha Yoga relaxation exercises.

Stress management, is taking our daily routine...and re-working it to reduce stress.

In triage medicine, the first principle is this:

If the patient is in danger, take the patient out of the danger. Then you can treat the patient.

So, if the stress of your life are very powerful, whatever techniques you engage to reduce stress, may simply not be enough. You just may have to surrender to the idea that you have to change your daily routine.

That may mean literally changing jobs to a less stressful one.

It may mean moving out of a crowded, noisy city.

If the external stresses are quite profound, unless you make changes in them, your stress problems is probably not going to get well resolved.

Maybe you have a nasty, abusive boss. And you have come to believe that all bosses are horrible, that there is nothing you can do and you just have to accept what is going on.

That attitude itself, may be the problem. Because you might have to fight for an entirely different kind of life.

Counseling always helps. And, in counseling you could brainstorm with the counselor about how to transition out of the stressful life you have now, into a life that is more manageable.

Will do another post re stress reduction.

re stress reduction.

first things first. Always have to work on a baseline of physical health.

You have to sleep enough. Very few folks really get 8 hours of sleep and every day.
But, if you engage with that as a discipline, you will be surprised at how much it improves your life. And if you have stress, going from sleeping 4 - 5 hours a night, to sleeping 7 - 8 hours daily? That alone can completely solve your stress problems.

Also, we have an idea that we have too much to do, to sleep more. That is not accurate. When we sleep enough, we have higher energy and better concentration. And we can get MORE done than if we sleep less. You don't have to believe me. Just try it for a few days and you will see directly.

Then, of course into regular health. Not many people hydrate optimally. If you don't drink those 8 glasses of water and every single day...you stress your body. And that stress will show up emotionally, as well as physically.

It's simple. It does not cost anything. And yet it can have an extremely powerful effect on life.

And then into good healthy food...and every single meal. Stop torturing your body by going all day without a single thing to eat, except a coffee.

Get good healthy meals in you and every single meal...and no skipping meals, no quick hot dog to get through the day.

And again, you will be shocked at how much better you feel.

And then, into exercise. In addition to whatever else you do, you really should get in the habit of nice long walks in nature. Jogging is good. But for stress levels...walking in nature is better. Long distance swimming is also good.

All exercise reduces stress. But if you want to go for the best advantage...do some long walks in nature.

If you are experiencing frustration and anger, my therapist directly recommended that I buy a wiffle ball bat and just "beat up" the pillows on my couch, when I get mad. I used to actually go to the batting cages and put it on Little League speed and smack the heck out of that ball.

Oh, that stuff does reduce the anger.

But, you know, always best to work with a therapist. Go over specific techniques there.

And then?

Yes, meditation helps. Hatha Yoga relaxation exercises help.

Meditation is not an easy craft. It can easily take three years of daily meditation to just become basically ok at it, much less highly skilled at it. But, all along, it will help in various ways.

There are some good Hatha Yoga relaxation exercises in the book, "The PTSD Handbook." If you are using the book for PTSD therapy, it is advised to only do that under the guidance of a therapist. And especially the work re de-escalating triggers.

Authors?

Deepak Chopra is good
Thich Nhat Hahn is good

best of luck

take care now

Two simple, extremely effective techniques
And…totally free.

First technique. Very simple. Classical music.

Just make it a discipline to sit down, every single day and listen to classical music for a good 30 minutes to an hour, every single day. And an hour is really the goal.

Mozart has actually been studied and been proven to have medical benefits for all sorts of mental health issues. So, Mozart is great.

I would not stray with a wide range of composers. The basic masters are all fine: Bach, Brahms, Beethoven, Handel.

Now, even better than that is Gregorian Chant.

Now, some folks really hate classical music. But, here’s the thing with that. Classical music is trying to introduce peace into your nervous system. And our rat race, rock n roll mentality is unaccustomed to it. And that is the main reason we don’t like classical music.

So, if you don’t like it, you probably need it even more.

But, torturing yourself just creates more stress. But there is an out. Put the music on a very low volume, just a kind of background atmosphere. And then, just play it while you read, or do the dishes, vacuum, some simple task.

And that will have the same effect. Plus if you do that for a few months, it is very likely your resistance to classical music will fade and you will start to enjoy listening to it at regular volume.

You can also try those kind of sound effect ambient sounds, if you like those. Things like the sound of waterfalls, waves, etc. etc. etc. If you do those kind of things, try the actual sounds of nature, not an electronic version.

So, that is technique #1.

++++

Technique #2 is equally easy and simple.

Take the time to sit down and watch 30 minutes - 1 hour of comedy, daily. And daily is the thing.

If you listen to classical music an hour daily and watch an hour of comedy daily…and that does not significantly reduce your stress? Then that is an indication that you might have something deeper going on. And that would be an indication of going to a therapist for some counseling. Your stress could actually be a medical condition…and by that, I mean a physical one…like a blood sugar problem that is causing agitation.

So, you need to rule that out.

Think about it. You might say…hey, no one has the time to schedule two hours of that daily.

But that, that right there? That is the entire key. If you can figure out how to schedule yourself an hour of classical music and an hour of comedy daily? Right there, you have engaged with and solved your stress management issues.

And that is key.

If health is not the top priority…everything falls apart from there. And certainly re stress. Making ending your stress your priority…and your entire life will fall into place.

Placing work issues and money issues and family issues above solving stress? And you will just ride that merry-go-round for the rest of your life…and go nowhere.

You are worth making yourself the priority!!!