How do you deal with aging?

Dear Prcrowe-
I'm 74, retired at 70 when Covid made house service calls too dangerous.
A few months ago I took a life expectancy test, and to my surprise it calculated my life expectancy as 91 years.
Well, that's not a certainty, but it is a possibility, so I got to work creating 10 year life and business plans. If those years come, I don't want to waste them!
Given my wife's health issues and my unknowns, it allows a lot of flexibility in work times and time to walk the dog.
Perhaps it's just an old man's fantasy, but it's affordable and gives me a lot of pleasure solving many problems and learning new skills.

Good Morning Ed (I'm guessing that's your real name 😉
I absolutely love your post! Thank you so much for sharing. I do have a question (which is going to sound rather weird based on your very positive attitude). Are you able to live "one day at a time" or now that there's an expectancy of 91 do you find that you mentally think "Oh, I've 'only' got 16 more years?"
I think what really hit me about aging and life in general was when in mid February our older daughter called and frantically said that she'd just come home from work and her husband had died in bed. He was just 61. The sorrow she's going through has been such a stark reminder that we just never know what "tomorrow" will bring. His death and my very difficult decision to finally retire from a career that I've absolutely loved for 43 years has been more than a little challenging. I'm just trying to make new decisions as to how best to live each and every day.
Once again .... I REALLY appreciate you sharing with me.

I’m turning 90 in June. I abide by my father-in-law’s motto, “Keep on keeping on,”.

Congratulations on your upcoming birthday! You sound amazing & what great advice. “Keep on keeping on “ I love that attitude. ♥️

I think the wisest of us keep an eye on the future. For example, what will you have to live on if you DO manage to slide past 90th base? Personally, I would want to have some financial oomph behind me. Nothing garish or like a hoarder...just enough to make sure I can enjoy living as I wish to, within reason and within my resources. Financial planning, to me, is but one example where one should have contingency well-worked-out-well-before-you-need-it.

So, my response is that one should indeed live for the day, even for the moment. You'll never get either one as a mulligan. They pass but once, so enjoy them and make them count. But do wonder from time-to-time how you'll manage if X, Y, or Z takes place and you have to live a whole nuther existence than the one you'd hoped for. Why not plan for a cruise in the fall of 2025 as my wife and I did early last year? We endured my heart problems, and then she found a lump in her breast last summer. I needn't tell you how bummed we were to find me getting better, but she came face-to-face with her own mortality in a stark way. Now, with other stress-related conditions, and her well-established auto-immune disorders and the pain and inflammation they bring cyclically, we're still going through the steps of booking flights and hotels, shore excursions, and putting the trip into some form of concreteness. You can't just shut down.

In spite of all the two of you have gone through, what a great attitude you have! Planning for your upcoming trip not only sounds incredibly enjoyable, but I'll venture to bet it actually helps with the healing process. 🙂

Dear PrCrowe-

I've not had a shock like the death of your son-in-law., and that is a very recent shock for you.
The closest for me was the surprising early deaths of high school friends, which still disturb me when I think of them, since I mostly remember them young and healthy.

For the most part I don't find the "mood consistency" of my life is very different now than it has ever been. I have happy days, mostly, and sometimes I worry or wish I'd done something differently.
Since I like making, fixing and designing things, especially musical instruments, I almost always have interesting objective problems to solve, and my dog and I have our agreements about our daily routines, so if I slip into a grumpy mood, it rarely lingers.

My wife has been ill for several years. I don't want to say much about this except we do have some hope that she's getting better.
Taking my wife to doctors and hospitals has given me many chances to see people who are very sick, and I can imagine now and then what the worst would be, especially if we were both ill at the same time. I do have long term care insurance and some hopefully safe investments.

I recently completed the Nolo Press workbook _Get It Together_ and arranged and paid for for my cremation with the Neptune Society.
I've just gotten _The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning_, which I believe was mentioned in Mayo Connect. I like it.
The more I simplify my life, the better I feel about it.
The kids live far away and have busy lives. If something happens to me I want it to be as easy as possible for them to clean up after me.

In my new business I have a lot to learn. I've invented something very beautiful, but don't know if I can produce it a price people will pay. But that is the first part of the business plan.

It took me quite a while to really give up my earlier career, and I have had to intentionally establish new purposes for my life. Some have been successful, some not...pretty much like it's always been!

I concur that it's important to take notice of ourselves holistically - body mind and spirit. Neglecting one affects the other two. Attending to all three leads to a balanced perspective of existence.

Jim

Thanks to each of you for your in-depth comments about the realities of aging, that we all share.
I’m 77, and I started losing very close friends about five years ago to Alzheimer’s and cancer. My next younger sister is now battling stage four colon cancer. I’ve had many surgeries; my husband is doing well 11 years after surgery for prostate cancer.
He also says “ keep on keeping on!”
I read an article a few months ago that the mind just cannot see what it would be like if we were not here. Whether or not that’s an unproven the, or mere conjecture, I’d rather be focused on living each day.
Traveling is tough, but it’s not impossible. We have had to cancel trip due to one thing or another, however we always rebooked the same or similar. I like the comment someone made that they’re booking their cruise later in 2025. We love, cruising, and need to book another cruise as well most likely next year! There’s something wonderful about planning and imagining and even packing as part of the overall enjoyment. Creating shared memories is wonderful.

If I look too far in future it scares me. I tend to live just one day at a time, more so now than just 5 years ago. COVID opened my eyes to the evil in the world that I never thought I would see.

I'm 71 and in good health, exercise every day, eat healthy, see friends, I'm blessed and can't fathom not being able to do this every day. I know my health can change in a blink of an eye and also know the changes in the world today are happening faster and faster, and can only hope that there is never WWIII.
So I tell myself to keep going every day, no matter what, as there will come a time I may not be able to.