Living in the world today

Hello to all

Thank you all here for such support..just having a forum and a place to share is a blessing…another work week ends and a terrifying moment in New York with the earthquake and aftershocks…may all who come here have a safe and peaceful weekend 🙏pvctom

Hi @pvctom2021 Encounters like that can sure leave you rattled, can’t they? I’ve had a few myself over the past few years and for the life of me, I can’t imagine doing that to someone! I think when you’re a nice person, rude behavior is so contrary to your own thought patterns that you can’t fathom why someone would say something hurtful to you or anyone else. This was on her! You did nothing wrong. Obviously the woman has her personal issues and is projecting them onto you.

My most recent run in with a person actually left me laughing. It was so absurd. I was in a grocery store with my husband. We split up so that I could go grab something in another part of the store. As I was walking briskly, there was an older woman (not judging, I’m 70) walking in my direction. As she got closer, I smiled and she blurted out: “Oh for god’s sake, take that damned mask off. I’m so tired of looking at you!”

First, I’d never seen this woman before and I had a bone marrow transplant so I don’t have the luxury of going maskless in crowded environments. I just laughed at her because I was stunned that she’d say that to me. Then I wished her a very pleasant day. But it really kind of bugged me!! I was minding my own business and she intruded on my happy day.

I’m sorry this happened to you. But I’m going to tell you what I’ve told my daughter all her life…she’s now 40 and still uses this guide. “What other people think about you is none of your business.” ☺️.
Thank you for sharing this bizarre encounter and I really hope you can let this one roll off your back. And I agree, it’s time to do away with self checkouts!

Hi pvctom,
Yes, the quake yesterday was scary. I was sleeping and when I heard it I thought it was thunder but it sounded different. And lasted longer. We don't have quakes very often in Pennsylvania. I remember the last one in 2011 when I was still working. We were in a meeting and we all looked at each other and stopped talking. It's a strange feeling when you have no control over something.
I used to worry about everything, in the whole world! Now I make a list of what I can and have to do. This helps me realize I have done things that I can control or help someone with.
I love animals and when I see a dead one on the side of the road it feels so terrible. It makes me feel so sad and I don't know what to do. So I started saying, "Bless your soul little animal." Then I have some peace, don't dwell on it and can move on, feeling a little bit better.
My point is that I try to do my best but it's hard to do if the weight of the whole world is on my shoulders.

This is what irks me about people who criticize others "still" wearing masks. Masks have been used by cancer patients and others whose immune systems are compromised long before Covid came along. I think Covid "normalized" masks and I believe more people with health issues are now comfortable wearing them out in public. Heck, if I feel a bad cold coming on I wear one to protect others who may be susceptible to illness from MY germs! But I would have told her about your bone marrow transplant had it been me.....to see the look on her face and to educate her on the fact that many people wear masks for legitimate health reasons other than Covid. Any time I hear someone criticizing another for wearing a mask I educate them on why they may be wearing it. Many people aren't even aware!

@monica19815 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! You've picked a great topic for your first post here on this forum!

I am an active blood cancer patient, undergoing chemotherapy, and a dialysis patient. As you stated, I have been wearing a mask since before COVID, and consider my immune system to be severely compromised. I try to educate people when possible, about the why of wearing a mask. So many times they don't really hear the message, instead saying, "oh, I'm so sorry you have that". But at least I hopefully passed on the education, at some level.

Yesterday I was at a small meeting, in a small room. There were 7 of us. I was the only one masked, and everyone there knew my health situation. Imagine my frustration and sense of "really??? what were you thinking???" when I found out later that the one person who gave me a big long hug after the meeting, has been dealing with a two week case of the flu [who knows what it really might be!?]. If I had known that I certainly wouldn't have let her hug me!
Ginger

Oh, wow...cannot believe someone hugged you whilst they were unwell. And they knew what you were dealing with?? A coworker of mine...in a huge office...was getting chemo about 12 years ago. It was explained to everyone what was going on, why she was wearing a mask and how to keep a safe distance from her and her desk when we needed to talk with her. Everyone respected this as far as I know. And she never got sick during chemo. I wish more people were educated about this and respected these situations!

Oh, wow...cannot believe someone hugged you whilst they were unwell. And they knew what you were dealing with?? A coworker of mine...in a huge office...was getting chemo about 12 years ago. It was explained to everyone what was going on, why she was wearing a mask and how to keep a safe distance from her and her desk when we needed to talk with her. Everyone respected this as far as I know. And she never got sick during chemo. I wish more people were educated about this and respected these situations!

This is what irks me about people who criticize others "still" wearing masks. Masks have been used by cancer patients and others whose immune systems are compromised long before Covid came along. I think Covid "normalized" masks and I believe more people with health issues are now comfortable wearing them out in public. Heck, if I feel a bad cold coming on I wear one to protect others who may be susceptible to illness from MY germs! But I would have told her about your bone marrow transplant had it been me.....to see the look on her face and to educate her on the fact that many people wear masks for legitimate health reasons other than Covid. Any time I hear someone criticizing another for wearing a mask I educate them on why they may be wearing it. Many people aren't even aware!

Hi @monica19815 I’m right with you on the mask situation! Covid really did help to normalize mask wearing for some of us. But there is still a faction out there who have this deep seated anti-mask resistance for whatever reason. The newer N-95 masks are backed by research, statistics and data that support their efficacy and I trust the doctors at Mayo who promote my continued mask wearing. The N-95 masks that I wear when out in a store, elevators, home if visitors are with me, etc., have worked the past 5 years to keep me safe and healthy.

I don’t wear this particular type of mask now, but I began wearing the recommended VOG mask, day one, since my bone marrow transplant. This was a couple years before Covid. During that time the only place I saw others wearing a mask were in Rochester where I stayed for 4 months. It was so commonplace to see mask wearers that no one gave us a second glance. Big shock wave when I finally went back home after being so comfy in Rochester those many months. My first venture into the grocery store with my husband, I had been feeling so liberated! I’m finally home and out doing normal things!! Yay!! But that confidence was briefly shattered by an encounter with a little girl and her mom in one of the aisles. I was reaching for an item when the little girl blurted out, “Mommy, what’s wrong with that lady? Why does she have that mask on?” I was thinking this was a great teaching opportunity so I turned to say hi. But instead, the mom hurriedly grabbed the little girl and walked away, saying “I don’t know but we’re going to get as far away from her as we can so you don’t get sick!” What?? Lady, your kid posed more of a threat to me! What lesson did that teach her child? I can only imagine when Covid hit what their response was.
But on the plus side that day, there was a gentleman riding in an assisted cart who saw me and said, “Oh look at you, rockin’ that mask! You look gooood!” That made my day!! 🤣

Funny, it seems most of my encounters with naysayers are in grocery stores. The older woman I was talking about in my previous comment caught me so off guard, I could only laugh! What she said and the way she said it was just so absurd! She wasn’t worth my time but there are occasions when someone will ask about why I’m wearing a mask. Sometimes I’ll explain about the transplant but most of the time I just say I have a compromised immune system and leave it at that. My biggest problem is that I tend to be snarky and most people who are already upset with my mask wearing don’t take kindly top be being flippant. LOL.

I love that you wear a mask when you’re feeling ill so as not to share with everyone else. It just makes sense and I wish everyone was as thoughtful. ☺️

When I was in Japan, pre-Covid, masks of course were totally normal and not just in the big cities. Everyone wore them if they had a cold, were feeling allergic, or were riding a bicycle in traffic exhaust fumes. No more comment-worthy than a hat. You'll just have to think of yourself as in the vanguard of a healthy trend! I almost died of swine flu in 1976 ad have been worried every flu season since--paradoxically less worried during the height of required mask wearing and covid. Keep rocking.