Do you fit this paradigm?

Posted by Bsquared @barbarabell, Feb 28 12:18pm

I caught COVID on Halloween 2020 and became very sick for about 3 weeks. I was very healthy and fit; I participated in many sports/outdoor activities and traveled quite a bit. After ‘recovery’, I felt better for a bit but never really great. I tried to scuba dive, hike, travel, etc but I just wasn’t enjoying it much. Never felt very good, cried over nothing all the time and had horrible panic attacks. About a year later, I started to get really sick: rashes, allergies to everything, shortness of breath, internal tremors, brain fog, facial tics, nerve pain, muscle pain, everything smells like burning algae, exercise is a joke. Constant crying, depression, nihilism, fear…you know the drill. Fatigue that cannot be adequately described.

So, I’m just wondering who else fits this paradigm? Infection with ‘classic’ COVID before the vaccine and then never really got completely better for a time? Then, started a slow, steady decline that stole away everything in life that gave you joy? Anybody see improvement or find anything that helps? By the way, I do have a freaking army of doctors and I’m a patient at UNC Covid so I’m not lacking in medical attention.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Post-COVID Recovery & COVID-19 Support Group.

@earlylonghauler

Yes! I wrote down symptoms as they occurred in early 2020. Covid hit me neurologically. I’m pretty sure I was only infected once, so all these symptoms have been from that original Wuhan strain. Initial symptom was amnesia (likely a focal seizure) and migraine (never had one before). The following week I was OK did not feel myself. I got the fatigue about a week and a half after initial infection. Then weeks later the nerve pain. I had a couple of other small focal seizures (small memory lapses) that first year. I was seeing a neurologist before the term long Covid existed. Doctors could find nothing wrong. Then everything went away. I started to feel great - felt mentally sharp, started walking daily and losing weight. Fast forward a few years and I’ve lost 50 lbs and have no appetite, and the brain fog is worse than ever. I had a lot of anxiety, but did not take meds for it, because I felt the anxiety was caused by the pandemic, and I felt I could manage it. Add poor sleep getting up 10-15 times a night. As you mentioned, I also found myself getting more emotional than before, and had a few episodes of sadness and weeping that were not normal for me - I am normally a cheerful and optimistic person. So lots of things were not ‘me’. Three and 1/2 years after initial infection I had a seizure that required an ambulance and hospital, and was diagnosed with Epilepsy. So to answer your question, yes, Covid symptoms seem to come and go over time. It will take years for the medical community to catch up with what we are experiencing..

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Each of our stories is a bit different, but all are heartbreaking...though I've posted a few times, I'm not even sure I have Long Covid, except it's the only thing that makes sense with basically OK lab and scan results yet the weird symptoms that so many of which you all describe. I've had chronic sinusitis for a bunch of years (two surgeries, balloon and antrostomy), but though my sinuses now look clear to the ENT, I've still got congestion, PND with gag coughing, now accompanied by muscle aches, insomnia, depression, brain fog, and post-exertional fatigue. This syndrome started after my second Covid bout in June 2023. At month's end, I go to NYU for an official assessment. But I'm beat. My life partner died in 2018. After three years of caregiving, then death chores, grieving, doing Covid solo, I'd been hoping to hit the ground running in 2024 to jump-start whatever I could conjure up as "my new life." Now this. It feels like a cosmic joke. Then again, I ask myself, "Well, why not me? Why would I be exempt?" Reality, yes. Mood-lifter, no. I'm reading everything, buying herbs I never even heard of, meditating with Insight Timer...but, by far, this Mayo board is my best go-to. Thanks, everyone, for so honestly sharing it all. It's a gift. Sending good vibes to all with hopes for breakthrough research findings.

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@shashig

Each of our stories is a bit different, but all are heartbreaking...though I've posted a few times, I'm not even sure I have Long Covid, except it's the only thing that makes sense with basically OK lab and scan results yet the weird symptoms that so many of which you all describe. I've had chronic sinusitis for a bunch of years (two surgeries, balloon and antrostomy), but though my sinuses now look clear to the ENT, I've still got congestion, PND with gag coughing, now accompanied by muscle aches, insomnia, depression, brain fog, and post-exertional fatigue. This syndrome started after my second Covid bout in June 2023. At month's end, I go to NYU for an official assessment. But I'm beat. My life partner died in 2018. After three years of caregiving, then death chores, grieving, doing Covid solo, I'd been hoping to hit the ground running in 2024 to jump-start whatever I could conjure up as "my new life." Now this. It feels like a cosmic joke. Then again, I ask myself, "Well, why not me? Why would I be exempt?" Reality, yes. Mood-lifter, no. I'm reading everything, buying herbs I never even heard of, meditating with Insight Timer...but, by far, this Mayo board is my best go-to. Thanks, everyone, for so honestly sharing it all. It's a gift. Sending good vibes to all with hopes for breakthrough research findings.

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I also try not to ask the question “why me?” ...but, the question is there. I have lived a healthy life and tried to take care of myself and my family.
I have never been a jealous person until now, but when I see people laughing and talking and having fun, I must admit, I feel jealous.
These two years stolen by LC make me angry.
I pray for peace and grace but mostly I am mad and defeated.

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@dloos

I also try not to ask the question “why me?” ...but, the question is there. I have lived a healthy life and tried to take care of myself and my family.
I have never been a jealous person until now, but when I see people laughing and talking and having fun, I must admit, I feel jealous.
These two years stolen by LC make me angry.
I pray for peace and grace but mostly I am mad and defeated.

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This resonates with me. I was so angry for a long time. I used to scream and cry like a little kid. I have two sisters, both older and able to do anything…I was so, so jealous of that. Three years have been stolen of my life. I’m still struggling (it’s up and down), but things do shift and change somewhat over time. I am in a better place than six months ago. Don’t lose hope.

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@barbarabell

This resonates with me. I was so angry for a long time. I used to scream and cry like a little kid. I have two sisters, both older and able to do anything…I was so, so jealous of that. Three years have been stolen of my life. I’m still struggling (it’s up and down), but things do shift and change somewhat over time. I am in a better place than six months ago. Don’t lose hope.

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If I had even a tiny bit of improvement, I think I could relax and hope to get better. As it is, even with a team of doctors trying to help me, I continue to get worse. I hate to think where I will be in another six months.
Like you, I have cried and screamed and mourned my lost life.
I also have an older sister who is planning a trip to see friends and shopping for a nice wardrobe. I’m glad she can do these things, but also jealous as I sit on the couch too dizzy to do anything at all.

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@dloos

If I had even a tiny bit of improvement, I think I could relax and hope to get better. As it is, even with a team of doctors trying to help me, I continue to get worse. I hate to think where I will be in another six months.
Like you, I have cried and screamed and mourned my lost life.
I also have an older sister who is planning a trip to see friends and shopping for a nice wardrobe. I’m glad she can do these things, but also jealous as I sit on the couch too dizzy to do anything at all.

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Where you are right now was me six months ago. I thought that I would be totally disabled by now. I couldn’t breathe and I was covered from the waist up with three different rashes. I had internal tremors/tics so severe that I couldn’t finish a sentence or thought. I couldn’t eat because everything tasted of fish and everything smelled like burning algae. Over the last six months, symptoms have begun to lessen or fall away. I still have some tics, tremors and headaches and, if I taste fish, I prepare for a day or two of not feeling so great. It took over three years for things to improve a bit here and there. None of us know the end game here but hang in there.

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@barbarabell

Where you are right now was me six months ago. I thought that I would be totally disabled by now. I couldn’t breathe and I was covered from the waist up with three different rashes. I had internal tremors/tics so severe that I couldn’t finish a sentence or thought. I couldn’t eat because everything tasted of fish and everything smelled like burning algae. Over the last six months, symptoms have begun to lessen or fall away. I still have some tics, tremors and headaches and, if I taste fish, I prepare for a day or two of not feeling so great. It took over three years for things to improve a bit here and there. None of us know the end game here but hang in there.

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Thank you so much. Your comments give me some hope.

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@meljocox

I was in my best shape and best life before getting Covid Dec 2020. Never had a vaccine before or since.

I did have psoriatic arthritis and had JUST gotten relief from my 10+ yrs of arthritis pain after starting Humira.
Gods funny humor showed me to be careful with my words because before Covid I had exclaimed how amazing it felt to NOT live in pain and how I NEVER want to live like that again……
I was pretty sick for about 3 weeks with a different symptom every day. Never bad enough to be in a hospital but I was quarantined with my young son and did ok… just sick and tired and struggling to pull myself up each day to not let him be afraid.
It took me 3 months to “feel normal again”. I had lifted weights for 30yrs at this point, even did what you would consider powerlifting but never competed. I was healthy, lean, strong, and full of happiness and energy…. Until then. Once I recovered it was like I didn’t skip a beat in the gym. I had all my normal workouts back on track and felt amazing.
Three months later I started getting a wide array of weird symptoms from heart palpitations, fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, extreme muscle pain and a continuous decline in muscle strength and endurance. Week after week the pain was more severe the weakness more pronounced. My GI symptoms that I always had were exacerbated and over the last 3 years have progressed beyond compare. A daily eye twitch for probably 6 months, almost daily cramps in my legs, tiny spasms under my skin down my legs, and fingers cramping.
Numbness in extremities, horrible brain fog and what was almost like memory loss? It was like I was busy all day but accomplished nothing and couldn’t explain how… like walking in circles trying to get things done. Like maybe In slow motion?!

I saw every kind of specialist for next 6 mos trying to get answers. Gastroenterologist, neurologist, cardiologist, psychologist, psychiatrist, endocrinologist..,. Finally after the psychologist referred me to psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with ADHD, the cardiologist diagnosed me with two types of heart palpitations that he couldn’t help with, the endocrinologist diagnosed me with Long Covid, but said they’re isn’t much we know or can do and we don’t know if it will come and go or come and stay…. I was on a path of discovery and recovery…
3 years later the neurologist said he can’t help me, my original rheumatologist diagnosed me recently with fibromyalgia, and my gi dr after 3 years of tests, scans and 4 different medications finally prescribed me something to help with my pain and symptoms.
I use to take allergy meds before taking humira for arthritis in 2020… now I take a handful of med for all the ailments. For nerve pain, for insomnia, for brain fog/adhd, for stomach, for a viral infection that apparently Covid brought out of hiding, muscle cramps, and I’m sure other stuff.
Someone above mentioned PEM (post exertional malaise) that is associated with CFS but now also Long Covid.
I’ve been doing research with some holistic medicine drs and some wellness drs who think it’s some mitochondrial function problem. Whether Covid triggered it or it’s secondary to whatever else we are trying to find a way to test for it and do some treatments based on that.
I’ve not ever been much of a crier or had depression in my lifetime… but these last 3 years have ran me into the ground. Depression from not knowing what was wrong with me depression from no one being willing to help me even if just to treat my symptoms (finally my rheumatologist seems to be the only one willing to help). Depression from accepting this new way of life as my new normal and not being able to do anything physically for 3yrs. Accepting this new body that hurts now almost every day. Sleeping days away at times when before I couldn’t understand how people even took a mid day nap?! What is that? Now I know all too well.
I feel like if I accept this body then I accept the decline of it even faster. I always lived my life to know that because I was so healthy “I could get through anything being one step ahead and defying old age”…. Now my parents who are 25yrs older than me are probably healthier than I am and they are in their 70’s. To their defense they work out every day too. That’s where I got it from.
I am starting cryogenic chamber sessions tomorrow, I am going to try to add testosterone (being a woman in my late 40’s this will be the tiniest amount) and peptides into my regimen in the next week or two and my sweet husband has been doing deep tissue messages about 2-3 days a week for a couple weeks now…. With the goals of treating my body in every way possible from a cellular level to heal and build from the inside…. I can’t let the lack of information limit me from trying to survive and recover… I will desperately seek anything in any form to find a way to live life again..

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I am in the same exact boat as you.I have gone to every specialists you can imagine the last 2 1/2 years and not one of them knows what is wrong.I went from a healthy person in my 40's exercising all the time to a basically disabled person.I am unable to work and had to move into my parents house.I feel the same as you with your parents being in better shape.Both of mine are running around and living life while I am in worse shape than a 100 year old.Honestly some 100 Olds might be in better shape than me right now.I can barely walk along with about 100 other symptoms.I never drank,smoked,or did drugs.It does not even feel real.I feel like everyone that got long covid were really healthy people who exercised all the time.Maybe we make better hosts for the virus.The worse part is them not being able to find anything.Long Covid seems to mimic alot or diseases,but when they run tests they come back negative because it is not the actual disease.I thought I had Myasthenia Gravis because of my trouble walking,loss of strength in my face and slow talking,chewing and swallowing,but my tests came back negative.I wish they had Long Covid Clinics that had Doctors that had Long Covid themselves.No one understands unless you are going through it yourself.It is a living Hell.

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Hello!What were your symptoms that improved on the water Fast?I have been ill for over 2 1/2 years with no help.I am just wondering if it could help me.

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@dloos

I also try not to ask the question “why me?” ...but, the question is there. I have lived a healthy life and tried to take care of myself and my family.
I have never been a jealous person until now, but when I see people laughing and talking and having fun, I must admit, I feel jealous.
These two years stolen by LC make me angry.
I pray for peace and grace but mostly I am mad and defeated.

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I feel jealous too.It has been 2 1/2 years.It makes me mad that people like us that took care of ourselves and did everything right are dealing with this nightmare.No one deserves to get sick,but there are people that don't care about their health at all that are running around care free.I feel like my life is on pause while everyone is just going on.The really hard part is with most diseases you can try medications,chemo,etc.With Long Covid the Doctors don't have a clue and the specialists I have met with don't even really care to learn about long covid.The neurologists I met with don't even acknowledge long covid and vaccine injuries.It is so bizarre.

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@mizbbd

I tested positive for Covid, Jan 2022, almost exactly one year after my 2nd dose of Pfizer vax. I feel the vaccine has weakened my immunity. My dearest friends of 30 plus years, are now saying, “hey, if it’s out there, Bobbi is gonna get it”
I had heard of LC and joked with my friends about me having it. Well, I know what I experience IS NOT a joke.
I’m afraid to even mention it to a Dr.
I recently moved to PNW, while sick with COVID, and I’ve finally made a “new patient” appointment, this morning, with a clinic that is accepting new patients.
Thank you so much for these discussions. I feel crazy! Am I making this up? Are the lesions and cysts and inflammation normal to have? Why am I so damn exhausted? I couldn’t even cook dinner this evening.
Again, thank you so much

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I had the Pfizer too and I agree with you.I think it really weakened my immune system.I only had the initial two shots and no boosters a year before my symptoms came on.I was talking to a chiropractor and he was telling me he has so many patients that have Vax injuries.It is just Horrible.

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