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Does anyone feel old and useless with age?
Hi, I'm almost 64.. I'm feeling old and useless. My strength isn't good anymore. Like it used to be mainly side effects of meds. My health is poor with cvsd. Osteoporosis, poor circulation, hearing , eyesight, you name it's going. I always took care of myself. Now I've gotten older and everything's wrong, my grandkids don't a want me around and they are little still. No friends to talk with or do things with. Why is it we spend our lifetime taking care of family. Loving friends to end up , old and tired. Useless.
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I was disabled by a stroke on Christmas Eve, 2018.
In the past five years, I've tried to stay positive as I've fought unbelievable pain, isolation, exhaustion, and other problems.
People tell me my story is inspiring, which is nice. It has led to being featured on SilverSneakers Live about a year ago. My 5 minute interview:
I've also been working on a series of YouTube videos: https://www.youtube.com/@srlucado/videos
I have also given talks at a couple of places, and I want to do more of them.
That helps me feel somewhat useful, and when I regain some small ability so I can help out my wife a bit, that helps too.
But there are bad days, when the pain is overwhelming, I feel ancient, my emails are ignored, I haven't slept for days, and nothing seems worth the effort.
I just try to endure. I think that in a day or so I'll feel better, someone will invite me to give a talk, or seek my input, or my health will improve in some small way.
It's worked so far. I hope it keeps working. Five years is a long time, and I still have a long way to go.
I look at it this way: What have I got to lose? If I don't get offers to give a talk, I'll try someone else. If I feel bad, I can (usually) at least try to make someone else feel better.
Being an extreme introvert, it's really hard to put myself out there, but I do it anyway. What's the worst that can happen? I'll be rejected? I already am. Strangers won't like me? That's no different from what's happening now. I'll lose a friend? Then they weren't friends to begin with.
And if I make somebody's day by encouraging them, or just giving them a lift, or helping them feel they're not forgotten -- how can I *not* feel good about that?
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11 ReactionsI know exactly how you feel I’m sick of waking up feeling so sore everywhere and not being able to do or enjoy doing so many normal things and knowing it will never get better. Caused such bad depression but pills for that make me a zombie
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1 ReactionI’m so sorry I’d love your help
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2 Reactions[Replied via private message.]
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2 Reactions@joyelizabeth you are not alone! I feel the same way.
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1 ReactionScott,
You are always such a positive support for the Connect Family. I always appreciate your contributions.
Trisha
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4 ReactionsIf I’m feeling that way, it’s usually when my health issues are dominating existence. It’s hard to feel useful when everything seems overwhelming and takes longer to accomplish. Aging isn’t easy. Poor health adds complications to the mix. Instead of putting unrealistic expectations on myself, I try hard to accept where i am (except for seeking medical help to help me feel relief). I wont give up helping myself through it, it’s another bump in the road. And there are a lot of them. Depression is a reality almost expected with everything we, experience. I do everything I can to head it off, if I feel I’m going down, I will pull out the tool box of what helps to thwart it. It works at times and at times it wins over. When it wins over, I feel myself on a downward slippery slope with no brakes to engage. I don’t know how else to express it. It’s just a perpetual thought pattern that needs disruption and injection of something different.
I am so sorry you are feeling so poor. I really hope you feel relief in some way to brighten your days…each one. 🤗
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4 ReactionsMaking someone else feel better. That is thoughtful, kind, generous, helpful and simply a wonderful mindset to have…
I’m an introvert too. It does make things more challenging, but I like and am encouraged by your post. You have a positive outlook in spite of what has happened in your life. You evolve as I hope to as well! 😊
Thank you for. Being so giving and helping others!
💜
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5 ReactionsThank you, Trisha.
It helps me feel better to think that I'm helping others.
My first full-time job (40+ years ago) was working for a large medical center. As part of new employee orientation, we were taught to be sensitive to the patients. I remember the leader's words:
"Nobody is here because they want to be. They're hurting. They're scared. They're in a strange place where everything is unfamiliar. We can't ever forget that or fail to be sensitive to what they're going through."
I feel that way about Mayo Connect. We're here to be sensitive to each other, help each other, or at least give a little moral support.
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7 ReactionsA comment that many can relate to in this country because "old" people are put aside rather than included in the family here. When I say old I mean people who through aging lose their previous abilities. They become disabled and are no longer considered useful. So the only use they have is to themselves. It is lonely. Somehow, whether by working at the computer or writng about one's experiences and joining chat groups and in other ways, those who have attained an age of wisdom should impart it without fear of condemnation. If the older person can relieve their pains by any means they should do it. Harder to do in these times when fear of opiates has taken away one mode of pain relief. You are still young. I am a lot older and although I have multiple physical issues I try to participate and engage in things that still interest me. Hard to do sometimes when the pain is all I can think about.
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8 Reactions