Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Posted by sally12345 @sally12345, Sep 13, 2023

Hi, I'm almost 64.. I'm feeling old and useless. My strength isn't good anymore. Like it used to be mainly side effects of meds. My health is poor with cvsd. Osteoporosis, poor circulation, hearing , eyesight, you name it's going. I always took care of myself. Now I've gotten older and everything's wrong, my grandkids don't a want me around and they are little still. No friends to talk with or do things with. Why is it we spend our lifetime taking care of family. Loving friends to end up , old and tired. Useless.

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Well said about purpose: Purpose is the primary fuel that helps me to stay in the best-possible state; trying to stay healthy without such reason-to-love-life would be very hard if not impossible.

What's more such reason if it happens to be more than one's family or friends, it will carry us -- it seems to have carry me on in my eighties -- with just enough dose of built-in will/motivation.
In fact the healthy lifestyle that gets its kicks from wholesome-and-tasty food, enjoyable physical activity and a few friends (this is the hardest because it's not in Our Control Alone) helps with good refreshing sleep and therefore also with mental health at least to think thru my stresses that we have to one degree or another.

I'll be checking out some faces on zoom this week again who may be on my nook of the world, And have some overlapping interests with me. Lucky indeed are those who have people they can meet -- or at least talk over the phones.

In fact this is what the former NIMH head, Dr. Insel has to say about the opioid crisis that's getting worse: People need three P's: Place to live, people to connect with and yes, purpose in life.
May we all live a life we aim for!

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No sleep again and feeling worse. How can you recover when sleep deprived? My therapist was angry that I made no progress and expects me to write everyday in my gratitude journal. Get out and walk! Stop sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Try not sleeping and being sick for months and tell me how active and grateful you feel. Seeing new Psychiatrist tonight might do the trick. Trying everything until something works, meditation, walking my dog, texting with friends and family, eating fairly well, online shopping, binge watching tv. Anxiety, insomnia and sickness are powerful beasts that consume your brain and body. I thought each day would get a little easier but it seems to be going in the opposite direction. It feels like a losing battle.

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I can’t sleep and it’s ruining my recovery. My body just refused to settle down and relax. No matter what I do or take, the anxiety wins. So I lay there all night long. It’s taking my health and my life away. Just when I thought I was recovering slowly I feel like I’m going in reverse. Seeing a new Psychiatrist tonight so maybe there’s hope with a fresh perspective. Then a brain MRI scheduled for next week. Looking forward to possibly getting answers or does it come down to anxiety.

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@cdesharn

I don’t sleep well, I don’t eat well, I don’t feel well so how can I get back to a normal state of being? Things happen in life to everyone but I feel I’ve been dealt a tougher hand than some others and how do I get past that. Working on it in therapy. I realize I’m older now, 62, and maybe it’s a new normal, but this really sucks. Glass half empty feels like the glass got taller or less empty sometimes when feeling stuck but I know progress is slow. Christian meditation in the morning is helpful plus weekly therapy. Now meeting a new Psychiatrist this week will possibly open up new opportunities for sleep and anxiety meds but I was really hoping for a more natural approach. These palpitations make joy and sleep impossible. Appreciate the stories!

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have you ever tried/heard of ‘square breathing’ for anxiety? It helps tremendously.

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Never heard of it. A friend just recommended tapping therapy and said her niece swears by it. Thanks for the recommendation!

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@cdesharn

No sleep again and feeling worse. How can you recover when sleep deprived? My therapist was angry that I made no progress and expects me to write everyday in my gratitude journal. Get out and walk! Stop sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Try not sleeping and being sick for months and tell me how active and grateful you feel. Seeing new Psychiatrist tonight might do the trick. Trying everything until something works, meditation, walking my dog, texting with friends and family, eating fairly well, online shopping, binge watching tv. Anxiety, insomnia and sickness are powerful beasts that consume your brain and body. I thought each day would get a little easier but it seems to be going in the opposite direction. It feels like a losing battle.

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Other than walking your dog, the activities you list are sedentary. I sleep best when I am mentally AND physically exhausted. For that to happen, I walk my dog extra times (he loves it more than I do, but at least I get to see him enjoy himself); work out with an online exercise video, in an in-person tai chi class, or with equipment I have handy; do housecleaning, including organizing/reorganizing closets (anything to keep me on my feet), and extensive yard work. I used to force myself to do these things; now I know how worthwhile it is to be up and out and about. I volunteer to help others with yard work, pick up litter in the area, etc. Talking with others outside is always a boost. Physical activity gets me "out of my head" better than anything. I don't sleep during the day and night-time sleep is usually interrupted, but if I can get 5-7 hours, that's great. I urge you to try to physically exhaust yourself (provided you have no physical limitations to do so).

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@cdesharn

No sleep again and feeling worse. How can you recover when sleep deprived? My therapist was angry that I made no progress and expects me to write everyday in my gratitude journal. Get out and walk! Stop sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Try not sleeping and being sick for months and tell me how active and grateful you feel. Seeing new Psychiatrist tonight might do the trick. Trying everything until something works, meditation, walking my dog, texting with friends and family, eating fairly well, online shopping, binge watching tv. Anxiety, insomnia and sickness are powerful beasts that consume your brain and body. I thought each day would get a little easier but it seems to be going in the opposite direction. It feels like a losing battle.

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@cdesharn - I can relate to what you wrote: “ Anxiety, insomnia and sickness are powerful beasts that consume your brain and body. I thought each day would get a little easier but it seems to be going in the opposite direction. It feels like a losing battle.” Been there - actually still am there!

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@njoys

Other than walking your dog, the activities you list are sedentary. I sleep best when I am mentally AND physically exhausted. For that to happen, I walk my dog extra times (he loves it more than I do, but at least I get to see him enjoy himself); work out with an online exercise video, in an in-person tai chi class, or with equipment I have handy; do housecleaning, including organizing/reorganizing closets (anything to keep me on my feet), and extensive yard work. I used to force myself to do these things; now I know how worthwhile it is to be up and out and about. I volunteer to help others with yard work, pick up litter in the area, etc. Talking with others outside is always a boost. Physical activity gets me "out of my head" better than anything. I don't sleep during the day and night-time sleep is usually interrupted, but if I can get 5-7 hours, that's great. I urge you to try to physically exhaust yourself (provided you have no physical limitations to do so).

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@njoys even when I am exhausted I can’t settle down because my mind is always in overdrive. I dread waking up to go to the bathroom just when I finally have fallen asleep because I know my brain will kick in as soon as I get back in bed!

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You’re right. Walking my dog twice a day now is a big improvement but it’s stop and go and not really exhausting myself . Even when finally socializing with our neighbors, consisted of sitting in their patio and me still feeling highly anxious. Cleaning my closet is the top nightmare ahead waiting for me so tackling that disaster should be a priority and would benefit me greatly in more ways than one. Getting back to painting would be another way to clear my negative brain. My physical limitations are what keeps me in this downward cycle but know most of it is caused by severe anxiety. Trying to find the strength to push through this to come out on the other side.

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Me too I 64 and minimalist social security tired and not much or rather nothing to look forward to still somwhat healtgy kids have there own life I was so close to them now not wanting to bother them

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