Emotions and anxiety with a cancer diagnosis: How do you cope?

So, I feel comfortable with the treatment I received once diagnosed with De novo stage 4 Prostate cancer. The cancer is in my bone only. My initial PSA was between 25 and 32. I had done twice in the hospital. I had pain and could not sleep on my back for 2.5 months. Initially, the doctors thought it was due to my Gall Bladder. I had it emergency surgery to have it removed. Even in surgery and hospitalization the doctors did not see the metastases in my spin and ribs. After the surgery I thought the back pain would resolve. It did not and I had a painful MRI. That is when the bone metastases showed up. I went back to the ER and another CT scan with contrast confirmed more metastases on my ribs. A bone scan and bone biopsy confirmed Adenocarcinoma do novo stage 4 Prostate Cancer. I am in good health and I am a fighter. So, I asked for as much treatment the doctors could throw at me. First 10 radiation treatments to my spin. The radiologist forgot to do my ribs, so I had to return for 5 additional radiation treatments to the ribs. A few weeks after radiation, the pain in my back and ribs started to disappear. I have been pain free ever since. Only 30% of patients ever achieve total remission of pain from bone metastases. I think the doctors mistake of missing the ribs initially was a blessing. Radiation is targeted but it also radiates and spreads out from the target. This caused overlapping radiation treatment which shrunk the metastases tumors more than expected. Then a month of Casodex and then I immediately started Eligard (3 month injections). The ARSENS trial changed the standard of treatment so I was immediatly started on Nubeqa (Darolutamide). A few later I started chemotherapy (Docetaxel). Radiation was hard, but for some reason (Jesus) I sailed through Chemo with few side effects. No Neuropathy, no elevated enzymes - mostly fatigue. So, I ask my oncologist why only 6 rounds of Chemo. I found out that is a randomly selected number based reducing side effects. So, I ask how many I could have and it turns out 10 is allowed so I set out to do 10 and I completed all 10. Turns out that there are studies that show more chemo may increase over all survival. I was determined to kill as many cancer cells as possible. But these are my choices and it was how my body responded to treatment. Thankfully, I responded very well and I am going on two years after treatment. My PSA remains undetectable and my Alkaline Phosphates stays around 38-40. I'm getting another bone scan this month. Praying it shows more improvement. Stay strong and fight everyone.

So, I feel comfortable with the treatment I received once diagnosed with De novo stage 4 Prostate cancer. The cancer is in my bone only. My initial PSA was between 25 and 32. I had done twice in the hospital. I had pain and could not sleep on my back for 2.5 months. Initially, the doctors thought it was due to my Gall Bladder. I had it emergency surgery to have it removed. Even in surgery and hospitalization the doctors did not see the metastases in my spin and ribs. After the surgery I thought the back pain would resolve. It did not and I had a painful MRI. That is when the bone metastases showed up. I went back to the ER and another CT scan with contrast confirmed more metastases on my ribs. A bone scan and bone biopsy confirmed Adenocarcinoma do novo stage 4 Prostate Cancer. I am in good health and I am a fighter. So, I asked for as much treatment the doctors could throw at me. First 10 radiation treatments to my spin. The radiologist forgot to do my ribs, so I had to return for 5 additional radiation treatments to the ribs. A few weeks after radiation, the pain in my back and ribs started to disappear. I have been pain free ever since. Only 30% of patients ever achieve total remission of pain from bone metastases. I think the doctors mistake of missing the ribs initially was a blessing. Radiation is targeted but it also radiates and spreads out from the target. This caused overlapping radiation treatment which shrunk the metastases tumors more than expected. Then a month of Casodex and then I immediately started Eligard (3 month injections). The ARSENS trial changed the standard of treatment so I was immediatly started on Nubeqa (Darolutamide). A few later I started chemotherapy (Docetaxel). Radiation was hard, but for some reason (Jesus) I sailed through Chemo with few side effects. No Neuropathy, no elevated enzymes - mostly fatigue. So, I ask my oncologist why only 6 rounds of Chemo. I found out that is a randomly selected number based reducing side effects. So, I ask how many I could have and it turns out 10 is allowed so I set out to do 10 and I completed all 10. Turns out that there are studies that show more chemo may increase over all survival. I was determined to kill as many cancer cells as possible. But these are my choices and it was how my body responded to treatment. Thankfully, I responded very well and I am going on two years after treatment. My PSA remains undetectable and my Alkaline Phosphates stays around 38-40. I'm getting another bone scan this month. Praying it shows more improvement. Stay strong and fight everyone.

Thanks. I’m on disability from work right now. Invariably when coworkers see me out or call, they ask when are you coming back, are you coming back, are you retiring, etc. it puts me on the defense. I am a teacher so I feel pressured to go back to work because of the shortages and I miss every one, especially the children. I am Eligible to retire and probably will but I honestly don’t know. I just started these hormone blockers, Leprozole. I don’t know how things will go for me, but I have no energy and I’m having problems with being nauseous and acid reflux. This started during radiation and has gotten worse. My doctor says my liver enzymes 3 are off. They are improving, but still not in normal range. I think the radiation somehow affected my digestion.
So I dread talking or seeing any one from school. I don’t want to be asked when I’m returning back.

So sad for your situation! I have been watching videos of people talking about near death experiences. This has helped me feel much more comfortable about leaving this world someday. Perhaps try that? I wish you the best in medical care and in finding peace in your soul.

Thank you for caring about the children! Take the time to care for yourself. Try to find a simple answer you can use over and over to minimize the emotional toil it must take to deal with everyone’s comments. Maybe: “when the doctors have found the right solution to the side effects I have, I’d love to come back. But I can’t give you an answer right now”.

If you miss the kids, think about writing letters back and forth. You know how much children like to have their letters answered. It might just warm your heart when you could use a little love, and the teachers would be thrilled that their students worked on their writing skills.

Wow you had some really good ideas. I like the one about the letter writing to and from the students. Thanks for sharing and caring. It helps to have support!!