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Activities to do with your loved one: Share your tips
Caregivers | Last Active: Jul 18 4:54pm | Replies (47)Comment receiving replies
My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2019. He's stable, but at 92, not very energetic and perfectly happy to lie in bed until noon or so, then have a brunch type meal, then listen to classical music or chat me up if I actually have time to sit down! I'm 13 years younger and because he is not agile, can't completely dress himself, but that's the only physical help he needs. The staying in bed distresses me and the neurologist assured me it's not depression - just lack of motivation. His prescription was to get him to some social thing regularly. Like lunch at the Senior Center. He, like your husband, was not a guy's guy and preferred being at home with the family. And when you're 92, you're lucky if you have any friends alive to even call! We do have an occupational therapist who comes twice a week and he perks up when she's here and I will say he's a little more lively since she's been coming. But these sessions will end. I don't see him suddenly wanting to go to bingo or do singalongs. I am able to get to yoga classes a couple of times a week, but I feel bad that he does nothing. HE doesn't feel bad about it, mind you. Watching TV is a challenge - can't follow any plotline that's at all involved and reading too - remembering what he just read is hard work and frustrating. I bought walkie talkies for us so I can at least be outside gardening when the weather's good and I don't have to keep coming in to reassure him that I'm still there. We use a white board with 'where i am info' but he likes to use the walkie talkies. I'm just grateful that he isn't belligerent or depressed or angry or abusive. I just feel he deserves better. But he's fine with the status quo!
Replies to "My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2019. He's stable, but at 92, not very energetic..."
Could he maybe take some online exercise classes, like from SilverSneakers?
He wouldn't have to actually do anything, just watch. I bet it would motivate him to follow along, bit by bit. It works for me, anyway.
For music, does he listen to the same favorites, over and over, or is he looking for unfamiliar works? I ask because on Amazon digital music, there are anthologies of concertos (piano / violin) of literally dozens of works, by lesser-known composers. Lots of great music, hours and hours, for just a few bucks.
It might spark his curiosity to explore more. Just a thought.
Hi @way2jackie and @crankyyankee, your situations sound similar to ours. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2017. He's had a good disposition throughout, and is extremely forgetful, but still articulate.
He gets up very early to rummage in the fridge - so I always have muffins on hand to eat and yogurt, then he goes back to bed, often for most of the morning, unless there's something going on in the neighborhood he can watch.
I was concerned about his wanting to stay in bed so much. The neurologist told me that's part of the disease. Recently, the geratrician told me that the brain needs recharging, like a battery that's lost energy.
My husband has no interest in going to a day program.
I can get him out to walk, and if it's raining, he'll do some exercises with me in the house. We have a soft plastic ball, that's large, and he'll play catch for a while. That was something the OT did with him after he broke his hip.
Maybe when your husband's OT sessions end you can get him to do similar exercises with you or have someone in once a week.
Once in a while, my husband will play Scrabble with me. I play often by myself and he'll visit the board to check out the words.
I've also purchased a number of "Adult" jigsaw puzzles that he'll work on. Lately, he does them on his own while I cook. I help him out with a piece once in a while.
To keep him engaged, I ask him to help me with chores around the house which he does willingly. He also enjoys going out to lunch, which I'm going to try to do more often.
In the beginning it was hard for me to accept all the time he wanted to rest, but I understand now that he needs it. And he is very content for which I am thankful.
Best to you both.
@crankyyankee ,
I would be grateful to know if you ever found enjoyable activities for your husband? My father has lived with my husband and I for the last four years, after my mother died. He is your husband’s age. He is pretty clear-minded and has a great disposition and sense of humor! But it is tough for him, as he has mobility issues, macular degeneration , hearing loss (still adjusting to hearing aids and doesn’t like to wear them consistently). I have researched so many things available in our community that might help him feel more engaged, and he has tried a couple that were not what he had hoped for (ie our library has lectures and discussion groups, etc). He is hesitant to go to a seniors center to play cards, bingo, etc due to his sight challenges. He really wants something where he can socialize without having to “perform”. He is unsatisfied with just having outings with me, his daughter ( not really ungrateful I don’t think, just not satisfied). I have tried to be really creative, to come up with things he would enjoy, etc. I totally understand that he wants more. A neighbor woman in the same boat as my dad has tried to initiate a friendship, but he is apprehensive/not receptive (maybe feels like it he would not being loyal to my moms memory?) I have been meticulous in his physical care, and I want to help him feel more engaged and active….any suggestions? (And I do take him shopping, drives, scooter “walks” around the neighborhood, out for meals and snacks, haircuts, leaving him his laundry to fold and put away himself, asking him to help me with potted plants, etc). Does any one know of places elderly people can go to just meet each other and converse, where it is safe?
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How ingenious you are with the white board and the walkie talkies! Great ideas!
Just remember that how your mind is occupied is very different then his. If listening to music is his great pleasure then he is enjoying life. His fullness now, may not be yours. That is okay.
I so appreciate you're desire to help him have a meaningful life! Great job!!