Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Posted by sally12345 @sally12345, Sep 13, 2023

Hi, I'm almost 64.. I'm feeling old and useless. My strength isn't good anymore. Like it used to be mainly side effects of meds. My health is poor with cvsd. Osteoporosis, poor circulation, hearing , eyesight, you name it's going. I always took care of myself. Now I've gotten older and everything's wrong, my grandkids don't a want me around and they are little still. No friends to talk with or do things with. Why is it we spend our lifetime taking care of family. Loving friends to end up , old and tired. Useless.

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@frouke

The issue of growing older is a very debatable subject…I have been thinking a lot about this and I came to the conclusion that it’s very different for everyone, so many things play into this stage of our lives. In older days when I was a youngster we always had family and friends around, if a family member was ill or they lost their job, everyone automatically helped them out. As for seniors, they didn’t go into a home but rather they moved in with their children. It was always the way things were done and everyone got lots of love and attention. In the world we live in today it goes without saying is so very changed and in some ways it’s better but not when it comes to family. As seniors we probably feel it the most because we need so much more care and there’s the problem, young people want so much more and they are working long hours to try to stay on top of everything, they want more and more all the time. I think the first to be handled over to get help with were our children, we just didn’t have enough time and keep us with the rising cost of living. As women we were forced to leave the home and go to work, this is in my opinion when everything started to change. I’m curious how it will eventually work itself out, putting seniors in assisted living is more expensive like everything else and not many people can afford to do this, not to mention it’s so very sad that they have to live out their final days in a clinical environment, no thanks for all the years they invested in their families.

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The stark reality is that the world we have now IS different than what it was before, this is not new, it's been always so tho now at more quicker pace.

The question really is: How do we live the 'Optimal life' we can have with the present choices and constraints, which you've spelled out: "As seniors we probably feel it the most because we need so much more care and there’s the problem, young people want so much more and they are working long hours to try to stay on top of everything, they want more and more all the time."

Almost every week there are talks on this issue on CBC radio in Canada that bemoans this issue: Too many patients; too few caretakers, who often so exasperated and mistreated so much so that they'd rather just retire making the system go in a slow blow up!

I, for one, feels I should stay out of the universal/free healthcare that Canada provides, but ALSO makes people 'OverDepend' on the system. Sort of freebie that renders people Less Caring about their Own health matters. Maybe I'm wrong but we are complex beings -- and act in ways not easily foreseeable.

But back to the issue: we Do Need a way to mitigate the current situation; If family is not around anymore, WE need to find a way to Die Better. Scarce info on this subject even on the internet, even tho it's a global issue at least in the affluent world, but not even ideas?

Maybe the Olds ALone need to get on it.

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I found what you had to say very informative…I’ve based most of my feelings about this situation on what I have witnessed. I’m a senior myself and the mother of two grown men …my youngest wanted to move me into a condo that he would purchase…I can’t express enough how much this made me feel and I never saw it coming. I agree with you about the healthcare system in Canada and it’s very poor to say the least, there’s no comparison to what the people have in the U.S…the reality of what I have to deal with at this point in my life is very stressful as a cancer patient. I love my country for the most part but it’s certainly not perfect and I was humiliated during the pandemic how badly our seniors were treated. I believe in hope, without it life would be unbearable, things will inevitably happen and I will continue to pray for better days ahead amen 🙏

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@frouke

I found what you had to say very informative…I’ve based most of my feelings about this situation on what I have witnessed. I’m a senior myself and the mother of two grown men …my youngest wanted to move me into a condo that he would purchase…I can’t express enough how much this made me feel and I never saw it coming. I agree with you about the healthcare system in Canada and it’s very poor to say the least, there’s no comparison to what the people have in the U.S…the reality of what I have to deal with at this point in my life is very stressful as a cancer patient. I love my country for the most part but it’s certainly not perfect and I was humiliated during the pandemic how badly our seniors were treated. I believe in hope, without it life would be unbearable, things will inevitably happen and I will continue to pray for better days ahead amen 🙏

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Yes, the pandemic "opened our eyes " in Canada.. Not just out health care is far fromperfect.. The government we have in seems to have a lot of serious issues and get we seem to be almost afraid to talk about it. Maybe there is a law against it now..getting older is no positive experience here unless you are very financially comfortable and healthy as both are quite frightening. Very nice of your son to think of you the way he has tho in this me me me world.

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@sally12345

Yes, the pandemic "opened our eyes " in Canada.. Not just out health care is far fromperfect.. The government we have in seems to have a lot of serious issues and get we seem to be almost afraid to talk about it. Maybe there is a law against it now..getting older is no positive experience here unless you are very financially comfortable and healthy as both are quite frightening. Very nice of your son to think of you the way he has tho in this me me me world.

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Thank you, I’m very blessed and grateful for my family. I never had a big family, no grandparents or cousins due to WW11 so I value those I do have. I hope that my country will get better in time, so much needs to be done especially in healthcare, so many people don’t have a family doctor and that’s just wrong.

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@frouke

Thank you, I’m very blessed and grateful for my family. I never had a big family, no grandparents or cousins due to WW11 so I value those I do have. I hope that my country will get better in time, so much needs to be done especially in healthcare, so many people don’t have a family doctor and that’s just wrong.

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The family doctor problem here is severe. We either don't have one of we have one like myself, who I do not agree with or like but there is no choice here. It's not as big a problem as when we age, I find in my years of living the last 9 the country has become worse , the immigration ,the homeless, the drug epidemic. It's stressful just thinking about what are children are going to try to survive in. Who would have ever thought it would be like this in our great country.

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@thisismarilynb

That's about where I am now. I am in my own home and can live independently with the help of a wonderful housecleaner who comes once every three weeks. I am able to do all my own cooking and laundry and drive myself wherever I need to go. My health issue was having a complete hip replacement a couple of years ago. Although my surgeon says it is not necessary, I still use a cane, because I am afraid of falling.

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I am in my lat 80's and now live alone for the very first time in my life. Lived with parents until my first marriage at 21, divorced 13 years later but had 2 young children with me. Re-married 2-1/2 years after divorce and recently my husband of 47 years passed away. Own my own home and so far can live independently with fairly good health and able to drive my car. My son and daughter live out of state; one about 75 minutes drive away; the other a good 10 hour+ car ride away. Wondering if I should sell the house and move into a senior housing apartment; but not really available in this small town. Maybe a condo?? Anyway, I feel fortunate at my age today; the tomorrows are what can keep me away at night. But still trying to take day at a time.

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@stekka

I am in my lat 80's and now live alone for the very first time in my life. Lived with parents until my first marriage at 21, divorced 13 years later but had 2 young children with me. Re-married 2-1/2 years after divorce and recently my husband of 47 years passed away. Own my own home and so far can live independently with fairly good health and able to drive my car. My son and daughter live out of state; one about 75 minutes drive away; the other a good 10 hour+ car ride away. Wondering if I should sell the house and move into a senior housing apartment; but not really available in this small town. Maybe a condo?? Anyway, I feel fortunate at my age today; the tomorrows are what can keep me away at night. But still trying to take day at a time.

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I left my home due to an abusive mother. I was on my own for a year before I met my husband. We met in 1959 and married in 1962. As are you, I own our home, in fairly good health and am able to drive myself anywhere I need to go. Unlike you, my children are far away. Before you sell your home you should investigate the facilities that advertise. I did. I was disappointed in what I saw. Really small apartments. I would not be able to take anything of my own. I also questioned that they could really give you all the amenities they advertise. It is hard now to find workers and they are not paid well. So I made the decision to stay in my own home. If and when I get to a place where I need help, I will hire my own caregivers. Again, if you go with agencies you should know that they will charge you a high hourly rate, but pay their caregivers barely minimum wage. As you can see, I have given this a lot of thought and I hope you will also before make a move that you will regret.

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@sally12345

The family doctor problem here is severe. We either don't have one of we have one like myself, who I do not agree with or like but there is no choice here. It's not as big a problem as when we age, I find in my years of living the last 9 the country has become worse , the immigration ,the homeless, the drug epidemic. It's stressful just thinking about what are children are going to try to survive in. Who would have ever thought it would be like this in our great country.

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We can only hope and pray that things will eventually work out for us, it took a pandemic to expose all the flaws in the system along with many other problems. My family doctor is getting older like so many other doctors and he is definitely not doing as well with taking care of me, I can’t speak for others but it’s been a struggle just to be referred to specialist. Recently he went on holiday and left a female colleague behind to take care of his patients, I went to see her and what a difference. I’m suffering with palpitations, sweating and tremors since having had covid, it gets better sometimes but can come back with a vengeance. She booked me in with a cardiologist and it was amazing how thorough they were with checking me, I never had such good care before. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don’t have any other options.

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Yes I feel that way. I wonder how did Time go by so fast, I worked in healthcare and took care of clients like me. I never thought back then that I'd be in the same position as some. I make myself get out and do things when I have the energy. I have my grandkids kids over. Try to think positive and read scriptures.
I do cry about missing the old me, but there's nothing we can do. Can't go back. I'm trying to dress like a stylish older lady . Just to make me feel good. I like Bohemian style so I'll just wisp bye🤗 😉
I pray we all start feeling like Hey, I made it this far💃🧘🤸🌻🌝

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@leelou03

Yes I feel that way. I wonder how did Time go by so fast, I worked in healthcare and took care of clients like me. I never thought back then that I'd be in the same position as some. I make myself get out and do things when I have the energy. I have my grandkids kids over. Try to think positive and read scriptures.
I do cry about missing the old me, but there's nothing we can do. Can't go back. I'm trying to dress like a stylish older lady . Just to make me feel good. I like Bohemian style so I'll just wisp bye🤗 😉
I pray we all start feeling like Hey, I made it this far💃🧘🤸🌻🌝

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It’s the same way for me, I’m very hard on myself and I look in the mirror and wonder how I got this way lol. The way I see it is, we are in a new phase of our lives and we continually change but we tend to be very critical of our image and I think it’s due to advertisement pushing all there lotions and potions to make us look younger..I especially like the ads where they’re promoting a beauty cream that removes lines and wrinkles, the model is probably in her early twenties, who has wrinkles at this age. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to look good but we have to stay realistic, I can only speak for myself, I’m turning 73 in a few months and now I value my health much more than my beauty, besides we know that beauty comes from inside. I like your comment about being Bohemian because it’s exactly what I like for my look. Enjoy yourself and know that you’re beautiful at any age, what a great combination, beauty and wisdom.

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