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Activities to do with your loved one: Share your tips
Caregivers | Last Active: Jul 18 4:54pm | Replies (47)Comment receiving replies
My husband has dementia and was diagnosed in 2016 at the age of 66. He was a workaholic and thus had little to no interests outside of his job, very few friends and not much of a desire to do anything. I am his sole caregiver and at times am struggling with how to get him to interact with anything. Caring for him physically is not hard at the moment but he is definitely declining. I suffer with bad knees and diabetes. Everything thing is on my shoulders. I go to caregiver meetings in my area and take him to adult daycare twice a week. But how am I supposed to be there for him in activities that he has no interest in?
Replies to "My husband has dementia and was diagnosed in 2016 at the age of 66. He was..."
It sounds like you are doing everything you can for him. I appreciate how hard this must be for you , yet you are still looking for ways to make his days better. If he is content not having a hobby etc then it may be best to just let that go ? But also...
I don't know what kind of work he did, but finding simple tasks for him to do might be helpful. For my mother in law she found pleasure in filing things away , so we just let her file the same papers in folders for a few minutes. Made her feel useful. She liked to cook so I would have her " help" sitting in her chair with a little table to sort out vegetables into different bowls , or to peel boiled eggs ( I peeled then in advance, but just put them in a bowl with the loose peels and she would "peel" them for me ) or help sort the crackers, I'd put different crackers in a bowl together and she'd "sort" them, to have with lunch. Things like that. Really just anything to
make her feel helpful and distract her for a while.
You are doing a great job . Hang in there!
My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2019. He's stable, but at 92, not very energetic and perfectly happy to lie in bed until noon or so, then have a brunch type meal, then listen to classical music or chat me up if I actually have time to sit down! I'm 13 years younger and because he is not agile, can't completely dress himself, but that's the only physical help he needs. The staying in bed distresses me and the neurologist assured me it's not depression - just lack of motivation. His prescription was to get him to some social thing regularly. Like lunch at the Senior Center. He, like your husband, was not a guy's guy and preferred being at home with the family. And when you're 92, you're lucky if you have any friends alive to even call! We do have an occupational therapist who comes twice a week and he perks up when she's here and I will say he's a little more lively since she's been coming. But these sessions will end. I don't see him suddenly wanting to go to bingo or do singalongs. I am able to get to yoga classes a couple of times a week, but I feel bad that he does nothing. HE doesn't feel bad about it, mind you. Watching TV is a challenge - can't follow any plotline that's at all involved and reading too - remembering what he just read is hard work and frustrating. I bought walkie talkies for us so I can at least be outside gardening when the weather's good and I don't have to keep coming in to reassure him that I'm still there. We use a white board with 'where i am info' but he likes to use the walkie talkies. I'm just grateful that he isn't belligerent or depressed or angry or abusive. I just feel he deserves better. But he's fine with the status quo!
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That has got to be incredibly tough!
Does he have any interest in sports, whether as a participant or spectator?
Do you have any pets? (I'm not suggesting getting one; you don't need the extra burden.)
Could he write (or at least record) his memoirs? I wish my Dad had done that.
Is he capable of understanding that he needs to do things not for his sake, but for yours?
When I became disabled by a stroke, a key incentive for me was (and is) the need to relieve as much of the caregiving burden as I could.
I hope you are able to find some help soon.