Tired of the gaslighting

Posted by cwitton1 @cwitton1, Jan 5 8:24am

I am done.
No more doctors. They’ve gaslit me, passed me off, placated me with unnecessary tests, tried detrimental drug therapies. No more “specialists” who pass you along to the next because it’s “not my job”. They straight up don’t believe anything I say. I am done. This journey that started in 1989 with a case of mononucleosis has ruined my life. I am done chasing answers and being mentally traumatized by doctors’ lack of empathy or concern. I am tired of reading my after visit notes and finding errors- things we never discussed or blatant lies about being examined. I am sick to death of being told it’s just anxiety manifesting or my brain tricking my body to make it *think*there’s pain when “there isn’t”. There is pain. A lot of pain, and I do not wonder at all why people with autoimmune disorders or chronic conditions- chronic pain patients, take unthinkable measures. News flash:NSAIDS don’t do squat for pain. They only wreck your kidneys and liver. What I have learned in the last 35 years is you can trust no one but yourself. Doctors are not there to help you. Doctors are there to make money and feel important about themselves. Doctors refuse to tell us, “I don’t know.” I’m tired, and it’s become more of a self preservation technique to just walk away. No more visits. No more medications. Whatever will be, will be. Call me a quitter. I don’t care. We were brought up to think if you’re sick, go to a doctor and they will help you get better. If your pain is new or gets worse, go to your doctor. They will figure out the cause. This is bs. No one’s going to help you. No one’s going to believe you. You will begin to question your sanity and eventually come to the conclusion that you’re on your own. The power dynamic in medicine is huge. They may have paid for an education, but I am not stupid and I know my body. This is me, finally defeated, jaded and hopeless. This is me accepting that this is how the rest of my life will be, forever. It’s not an exciting, rosy prospect. This is me, and I am done.

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inminn | @inminn | Feb 25 9:45am

In reply to @penn "What do you mean by Gaslighting? I know what means but medically?" + (show)

I think in the case of medical patients, it refers to the long history of countering any complaints for which they have little understanding with trying to convince us that our conditions are due to some psychological problem (especially if a female patient), attention seeking, drug seeking, hypochondria, “lifestyle choices”, and so on. Doctors have dismissed as quacks integrative health testing for such things as gut biome imbalance, gluten intolerance, and acupuncture as new age nonsense, only to be proven wrong time and time again and even to eventually have it confirmed by research, and then to embrace and recommend such supposed quack treatments decades later. Western Medicine in general finds it easier to throw pills at patients in order to dull symptoms rather than to take the time and make the effort to investigate the root cause of problems.
Examples are gluten intolerance, yeast and mold sensitivity, leaky gut, endometriosis, chronic fatigue, Lyme disease, fibromyalgia, IBS, bacterial stomach ulcers, hypothyroidism, etc., but remember doctors also originally rejected as preposterous the idea of germs, hand washing, the usefulness of vaccines, and they used to smoke while working in the hospital.
They also (generally) have the grave fault of not seeming to understand statistics. If the majority of patients diagnosed shared certain symptoms it does not mean 100% of them present typically. Trying to convince patients that they are not feeling what they are feeling, or that they don’t know what is unusual for their own bodies is gaslighting.

penn | @penn | Feb 25 6:45pm

In reply to @inminn "I think in the case of medical patients, it refers to the long history of countering..." + (show)

Than You inminn,
Put it into prespective,
Having a very hard time finding a GOOD NEUROLOGIST WHO LISTENS, REALLY LISTENS.
I have Small Fiber Neuropathy pretty bad, fell concussion sm. brain bleed on Nov. 22/23, I'm very dizzy, fell left side of face so the bridge of my nose is very swollen, ck. bone, eyebrow, and inside my nostril! Something not right. He will not order another CT Scan! Trying to find another Neurologist, Hackensack, NJ. Calling another tomorrow! Times like this you need family, they are all gone.
Thank for listening.

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Feb 25 7:19pm

In reply to @penn "Than You inminn, Put it into prespective, Having a very hard time finding a GOOD NEUROLOGIST..." + (show)

@penn Finding a good doctor can be hard, but not completely impossible. Are you going to a major medical center or a university hospital? Doctors there are usually up on their research . Try and google ‘comprehensive medical center for NJ’ and see what you can find.
Just wondering why the doctor won’t order another CT scan?
Will you make some calls tomorrow to find a comprehensive medical center?

inminn | @inminn | Feb 25 8:47pm

In reply to @penn "Than You inminn, Put it into prespective, Having a very hard time finding a GOOD NEUROLOGIST..." + (show)

My goodness, I do hope you find the right neurologist. You can always go to the ER for a scan with those symptoms, and it may be the only way to get another scan without delay. Best wishes!

Lit’lMouse🐹 | @arnette | Feb 26 10:18am

I received a referral to a pain management doctor that prescribed me pain medication and it has helped me deal with my pain. I myself have dealt with your situation many times and it took years for me to get into the right doctor to get the pain management specialist who would actually do something to help me deal with this horrible pain. I still have some pain but it is bearable and I have some semblance of a life thanks to this doctor.

Lit’lMouse🐹 | @arnette | Feb 26 10:22am

In reply to @arnette "I received a referral to a pain management doctor that prescribed me pain medication and it..." + (show)

I also had to go through years of testing and scans, new doctors and several hospital visits just for the pain. One Dr told me that I was faking it and that I should just go home and see a psychiatrist to get help. I told him where to go quickly and not to come back. He was a on call doctor. He never came back. Lol

Lit’lMouse🐹 | @arnette | Feb 26 10:28am

In reply to @inminn "I think in the case of medical patients, it refers to the long history of countering..." + (show)

I keep forgetting to let you know that advocating for yourself and keeping up the fight is the only way to get things done and if you give up then it’s you who loses out, please do not give up on yourself . I have been fighting with my disease for over 40 years and I’m still fighting and alive today because of it. It’s been a very difficult road but it been worth it. Best of luck.

mannism | @mannism | Feb 26 2:24pm

In reply to @kayabbott "Positive thinking, hydration, sleep, avoiding stress, support system, and diet/exercise are some of the things important..." + (show)

Exactly. I wrote somewhere else on here to look for reputable alternative clinics with the credentials. A real integrative doctor has the Andrew Weil Fellowship from the University of Arizona or you can use Dr. Weil's website for research on almost everything. He tells you the truth and the best approach whether it is traditional or alternative.

There are functional medicine credentials. For supplements, there is consumerlab.com. You can always listen to the Peoples Pharmacy or go to the website. There are a lot of charlatans out there ready to make a quick buck unless you are careful. And there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with your doctor or getting other opinions.

penn | @penn | Feb 26 3:43pm

In reply to @becsbuddy "@penn Finding a good doctor can be hard, but not completely impossible. Are you going to..." + (show)

Hello Becky, Thank You!
I saw your message will the calls! What is a Comprehensive Hospital?
I just made appt. with a new Neurologist but I will still find a Comprehensive Hospital. My nurse is here for IVIG fusions. She agrees with you. I'm so disgusted. I don't want to go to the ER and sit for hours. I can go to Columbia Presbyterian 2 hours from here.
DR. Said its post concussion syndrome!! But I'm worse I told him. So I left his Practice.

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Feb 26 6:05pm

In reply to @penn "Hello Becky, Thank You! I saw your message will the calls! What is a Comprehensive Hospital?..." + (show)

@penn. ERs are never the place to go unless it’s a real emergency. I know this from experience!
I looked up comprehensive medical centers and I found these (see photo) hospitals. You don’t want to go to Cornell-Weil in NYC—it’s just too huge. (I flew from Colorado to NYC to help my husband’s aunt. O my gosh! It was as big as a CO city!)
See if you can talk with an intake coordinator for the best advice. That’s exactly what my husband had to do when i was So sick. They helped him determine which department would be best. I’ve gotten excellent care ever since!
Will you call tomorrow and then let me know what you learn?
PS. For some reason I thought you lived in Hackensack !