1. < Autoimmune Diseases

Tired of the gaslighting

Posted by cwitton1 @cwitton1, Jan 5 8:24am

I am done.
No more doctors. They’ve gaslit me, passed me off, placated me with unnecessary tests, tried detrimental drug therapies. No more “specialists” who pass you along to the next because it’s “not my job”. They straight up don’t believe anything I say. I am done. This journey that started in 1989 with a case of mononucleosis has ruined my life. I am done chasing answers and being mentally traumatized by doctors’ lack of empathy or concern. I am tired of reading my after visit notes and finding errors- things we never discussed or blatant lies about being examined. I am sick to death of being told it’s just anxiety manifesting or my brain tricking my body to make it *think*there’s pain when “there isn’t”. There is pain. A lot of pain, and I do not wonder at all why people with autoimmune disorders or chronic conditions- chronic pain patients, take unthinkable measures. News flash:NSAIDS don’t do squat for pain. They only wreck your kidneys and liver. What I have learned in the last 35 years is you can trust no one but yourself. Doctors are not there to help you. Doctors are there to make money and feel important about themselves. Doctors refuse to tell us, “I don’t know.” I’m tired, and it’s become more of a self preservation technique to just walk away. No more visits. No more medications. Whatever will be, will be. Call me a quitter. I don’t care. We were brought up to think if you’re sick, go to a doctor and they will help you get better. If your pain is new or gets worse, go to your doctor. They will figure out the cause. This is bs. No one’s going to help you. No one’s going to believe you. You will begin to question your sanity and eventually come to the conclusion that you’re on your own. The power dynamic in medicine is huge. They may have paid for an education, but I am not stupid and I know my body. This is me, finally defeated, jaded and hopeless. This is me accepting that this is how the rest of my life will be, forever. It’s not an exciting, rosy prospect. This is me, and I am done.

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Apr 28 9:05pm
In reply to @mothermary1 "Good for you. Not all doctors are incompetent but in the past four years many have..." + (show)
@mothermary1

Good for you. Not all doctors are incompetent but in the past four years many have lost the ability to search and search and see you as a challenge like Med School.
I’m daily amazed that they don’t read their reviews, listen to complaints and have some concern. I think they simply don’t care like they once did. If you leave the practice someone else is right behind you to fill your shoes so it doesn’t matter.
I verbally tell any doctor if they are lazy, make me feel like because of my age they don’t care and the list goes on.
My PCP sits on a stool and says hello Ms. Spencer, what is it I can do for you. May sound like a nice approach, BUT REALLY! How am I suppose to know. I became tired of it so I went in with
An MRI to see if anything going on in my brain that has concern.
A PET scan to look at the molecular levels to detect anything early.
Endless list of lab work
He looks at me like I’ve lost my mine. He comes back with your Medicare won’t allow this without backup codes. I just say you asked, and I’d like to catch anything and everything early.
He should be listening to me. Then decide what I need. I’m always looking to change but the ones that have those great reviews can’t take on another patient.
Keep pushing and get answers. Don’t settle ever. Some say see a PA they care more. I say all you uncaring doctors are ruining for those great ones. You went to school, you once cared. Read what people say about you and fix yourself. If you can’t change your career. You work for us, we pay your salary. Please, just do what you went to school for.

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@mothermary1 Oh, Joanna, I’m sorry that you’ve had such a difficult time with doctors. They’re not all like that, really. An episode on the news last night was saying how discouraged doctors are because they can’t provide the care they learned in school. There is too much paperwork, obtaining prior authorizations, and dealing with the other issues of insurance. Too many doctors have left or are leaving because of this. I know we’d all love to have Dr. Welby back, but that was so last century.
Can you tell me one thing, that your doctor could do, that you’d really appreciate?

REPLY
thenazareneshul | @thenazareneshul | Apr 30 10:33pm

I hear you. Every word you said, I know, firsthand. It's also why I found a spiritual side, to help me deal with the truths you have stated very well.

One day, you might recover from the betrayal enough to venture once more into a doctor's office. May I suggest a solution that has worked for me. I ration out the times per week that I will deal with the insanity in which the whole medical profession operates. That includes (even the best) Pharmacy I've yet found, for myself. It includes talking to Billing and/or Receptionists. All of them. I give them 2 days a week, max. No more than that. At first, I gave them one day a week. And I left the healthcare system I was in, to do this, behind me. I am done with it. After I had spent 5 years forcing them to Amend every lie I ever found. You named it correctly as Gaslighting. That's what it is. Sometimes, we have to move on and let others, younger and more able, take care of issues we know only too well. I put a limit on my interactions with the American healthcare industry. That includes my insurance company having their little "home visiting nurses" doing everything they can to get into my home and evaluate it along with my health. You know, those nurses who can't even legally diagnose, but who bring their little Alzheimer's tests with them. The one that has a 1 in 7 error factor to it. Blocking those was one of the first things we must learn to do. It's Predatory. Just plain predatory practices. You can't fight for your own health if there exists no real sanctuary for you, in your own home, and you don't limit the gaslighter's access to you.

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