Lost Trying to Exist

Yes, I am human too…with a long list of medical diagnosis. After 30 good years of marriage and (47 total) I have become dependent on him and hate it…nerve damage is the worst thing…compromised immune system, lymphoma survivor, degenerative joint disease, arthritis.
I was very competitive in tennis, snow skiing and golf. Hill climbing on snowmobiles is not going to happen. Tennis is OUT. Might be able to play golf this year but most likely yoga classes and physical therapy will be the only things that will get me out of the house.
Presently I’m struggling with a broken bone in my foot because I sprained a tendon, 6 more months of recovery. I’m not much fun to be around. But hopefully I will be again soon

Never give up. Get the right meds to put you back on track. No one deserves to suffer in depression and I speak from loads of experience. Exercise, breathe, spend time outside...FEEL outside yourself. Try cognitive therapy. Find a faith community or just go out and say "hello" to strangers. I wonder if you felt anything inside when you wrote your post ...just writing and speaking to others can spark a bit of light. You can do this.

Sussam olmuyo konuşsam hiç olmuyo inanın birinin omuzuna başımı yaslasam sabaha kadar ağlarım heralde

Translation from Turkish (Google translate)
"If I keep silent, it won't work. If I talk, it won't work. Believe me, if I lean my head on someone's shoulder, I would cry until the morning."

Hello 💚.
Diagnosed with major clinical depression and generalized anxiety pre-covid, now social anxiety trying to relate.
Trapped two years of covid isolation living alone, with a powertripping roof banger day and night giving me at least two anxiety attacks a day with a bleeding stomach.
That is over 1700 anxiety attacks.
This lost me my social abilities. I have since been sitting in my social group unable to relate like a dummy. The words and actions for interpersonal communication simply will not come out of my mind like they have all my life. It is destroying me from the inside out.
I am at a loss what to do next. If anyone has any suggestions please do not worry about hurting me because none can anymore.
Please reply if you can think of anything.
Best of health 🧡.

Hard and even impossible as it may seem, I believe we are all given life challenges for the ways we still 💚 need for growth, coping and maturity.

Best of health, Edward

Hello, I am in my 3rd week of covid still waiting to improve. My thirst is like I am in the desert with sand in my throat. I am exhausted from doing nothing. I love to cook, but I get dizzy when I stand up, so I am surviving on frozen dinners. Meals on Wheels might come next week, but who knows if that will happen. I never heard of Long Covid until I got Covid. I hope my letter makes you feel a little bit better. I don't know what to do either. I have read so many sad posts here of endless agony. I can only hope we both get better. I need to take another nap now because I am so tired all the time. You may write back if you would like to. Tell me something positive as I too have found it difficult to live with.

Hello 💚.
Diagnosed with major clinical depression and generalized anxiety pre-covid, now social anxiety trying to relate.
Trapped two years of covid isolation living alone, with a powertripping roof banger day and night giving me at least two anxiety attacks a day with a bleeding stomach.
That is over 1700 anxiety attacks.
This lost me my social abilities. I have since been sitting in my social group unable to relate like a dummy. The words and actions for interpersonal communication simply will not come out of my mind like they have all my life. It is destroying me from the inside out.
I am at a loss what to do next. If anyone has any suggestions please do not worry about hurting me because none can anymore.
Please reply if you can think of anything.
Best of health 🧡.