Connect
← Return to Elderly parent living with me
Discussion
Comment receiving replies
I have a similar situation with my 80 year old mother who has always been my best friend. She always relies on me for every decision and that was fine up until my husband and I moved from AZ to NC and took her with us. She now has a basement apartment in our home.
I have fibromyalgia and need alone time but she is so needy since the move, I feel bad saying this.
We will be traveling in April and Mum is giving me a guilt trip about leaving her. I am feeling like I made the wrong decision to have her here with us?
Replies to "I have a similar situation with my 80 year old mother who has always been my..."
@vickie30, that sounds like a tough spot to be in.
Are you able to set some boundaries with your mom? Like a window of time that you can only be disturbed in emergencies? Perhaps that could be aligned with a time that she likes to nap or read or watch a favorite TV program?
The demands of fibromyalgia are unpredictable, but it might be a start to carve out an hour a day that you're off limits whether you're having a flare or not.
That's hard! Perhaps you can engage her with a group at the local senior center... connect her with someone she can talk to besides you? I know she's making you feel guilty...but you need some self care as well. And as long as she has someone to connect with while you are gone , then try to get the guilt go. You are important, your relationships aside from her, are important and actually make you a better caregiver when with her. Go and have fun! You are worth care too!
Connect
Transitioning out of caregiver role is tricky. I’m trying, but…..it can be complicated. I don’t feel guilt. Just trying to find proper caregivers they can afford.