Tired of the gaslighting

More power to you! Keep fighting the good fight for yourself and not only recognizing the need to maintain (or maybe even improve) these areas, but getting after it. When you find a good functional medicine doctor, do you mind checking back in on Connect to share your experience?

Oh I’m so happy that you wrote into us. So thankful. The doctors have drug you through the mire and I am mad about it for you and I am sad sad sad for you. Years and years of neglect and down right abuse is what I heard in what you described in your 35 year experience and no good meds to manage your condition. And believe me we now and have had for years great medications for autoimmune diseases!! Most of us…surely I have had a bad experience with doctors that try to make you think that it’s “all in your head!” On my first airline flight I was 19 and sat next to a pilot. I was scared to death and oh so nauseated and he kept saying “it’s all in your head” and I kept saying I’m going to throw up. We touched down a couple of times before landing in Little Rock and as soon as we landed I threw up all over the beautiful lady to my left myself and guess who?? The pilot. Oh and I had on the most gorgeous blue dress and that was my first time to wear it. Now had the pilot been in reality he would have shown me the bags for throwing up..I still would have thrown up but we would have all been clean. So much for denying reality. Huh? I am on my fourth rheumatologist and he’s wonderful he listens and I have been in one form or another of remission or
Another for 5 years. But I was treated terribly as were you before I found this caring doctor. I also see someone for help with pain. Quality of life means everything after all the years in pain and suffering. Starting today I will commit to praying for you. YOU DESERVE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING. YOU NEED THE BEST MEDICAL CARE OUR COUNTRY OFFERS. I had decided to go to Mayo Clinic when I found this doctor. God bless and many prayers to you. Diane.

I agree; think you should never give up on the search to find a supportive health professional as e.g., you'll need someone to prescribe drugs anyway? For example, before agreeing to any tests, use your past experience to ask a doctor to explain why the tests are part of a process to pursue a solution rather than just ordering them because they simply can rule things out or reflect standard protocol. I and others can empathize with your situation but IMO you need to be most aggressive in seeking out someone you can believe in on the basis that they can address and consider all the concerns you mention here, even if it is not exactly what you want to hear. I don't think you'll "be a quitter" just that you need to vent and maybe take a break? I can only encourage you as you pursue someone to help, you make sure you are not starting over but that they totally are aware of your journey and they have a perspective and vision that sees beyond that and is the basis for you to not only not give up, but have some hope and reason to push forward.

i have great empathy for you. I am in Canada and my doctor wants to sit at this desk and phone in prescriptions. My former doctor referred me to my rheumatologist who is in another health district, she is absolutely great. This new family doctor will not work with her. I too have chronic pain from FM and right now the legs and neck are so bad, neuralgia and cramps that I am unable to sleep. I also have a torn rotator cuff and other complications. Because I could not take one medication ( I was losing my vision) he prescribed, he gave up on me. I go to physiotherapy and that is all that has really helped lately. I hope that may help you.

Cwitten1, your words explain exactly what I am going through. I know that the anger and frustration I am feeling only adds to the problem, but I can't help it. We are sick and suffering, and the people supposedly trained to help aren't helping us.

They seem to just pass you to another doc or another MRI, CT, or Blood test but I have to tell them the results are in.

I can totally relate with where you are right now! Everything you said I have experienced, too. You are right, you are your best advocate and know your body best. I, too, have gone to doctors for many years trying to get help for my pain and declining health. They tell you, especially women, that it is in your head so they can just prescribe you anxiety/depression medication and send you away. I have also seen after care notes that document things were reviewed and discussed with me when they weren’t at all! Fraudulent record keeping! I have fired a couple doctors who would not help or listen to my symptoms or who put in my record “hypochondriasis” when all I wanted was answers and help to feel better. I do feel better now, not 100%, but better after 7 years of seeking answers and not settling until I got help. It is a lot of work, $$$, and time but it is our lives on the line. After all of the runaround, I was finally diagnosed by different doctors) with the following (in order): iron deficiency, small fiber neuropathy through punch biopsy, hearing loss, cervical and lumbar severe spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, radiculopathy, osteoarthritis, alopecia areata, thyroid autoantibodies in bloodwork and inflammation, cervical spondylitic myelopathy (spinal cord compression making it hard to walk and not drop things plus had daily headaches), thyroid nodule/Hashimoto's thyroiditis/micro cancer/hypothyroid, breast implant illness (implants removed), and gastritis and esophagitis (waiting for endoscopy biopsy results). I, too, had a really bad case of mononucleosis as a teen (now in my 50s) and understand EBV and other viruses can cause many health problems later in life. I am now on 100 mcg levothyroxine for my thyroid, 40 mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) for anxiety/depression (chronic pain), and now 20 mg Omeprazole for gastritis. Many other symptoms on my long list have reduced or gone away completely. There is hope!