1. < Lung Cancer

Sister just diagnosed with Lung cancer

Posted by kiastar @kiastar, Dec 3, 2020

My sister was just diagnosed with lung cancer she is 63 years old it has Spread to her lymph nodes and her brain (there are multiple tumors in her brain )they are doing a pet scan tomorrow to see if it’s anywhere else. She is also very confuse so it’s hard to talk to her. I think she’s so confused she doesn’t even realize she has cancer. Which is probably a good thing because she is very high anxiety with her health. I have a question because this is so new to our entire family if she asks what’s wrong with her she should actually tell her? I know it wouldn’t be right just to tell her everything is fine but to tell her she has cancer I even have a hard time just saying that word now. He also said she had a mini stroke which they were not able to give her medicine for a stroke protocol because of all the lesions in her brain. Any comments or thoughts would be helpful thank you

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Lung Cancer Support Group.

kiastar | @kiastar | Dec 13, 2020
In reply to @merpreb "@kiastar- I know that this is devastating for you, I can actually feel it. It's like..." + (show)
@merpreb

@kiastar- I know that this is devastating for you, I can actually feel it. It's like seeing a different person that looks like your sister yet isn't her. Are you able to visit? I hadn't realized that her stroke was that severe. Perhaps when she is discharged someone to help her husband with her daily showers and home care would help? It must be so undignifying for your sister.

What do you think you could do to help your sister? There are many things that you can do to help her be more comfortable after she comes home from the hospital. Here is some information that might be of interest to you.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/10408-right--and-left-brain-strokes-tips-for-the-caregiver

I am hoping that a couple of my mentor friends will pitch in here if you have any questions about strokes
@johnbishop @becsbuddy @hopeful33250

- Stroke & Cerebrovascular Diseases https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/cerebrovascular-diseases/

Connect has a group that discusses strokes. At this time you might want to read a few discussions to help you understand a bit better. Do you know the exact type of stroke that she had?

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She’s sepsis and unresponsive we are waiting to hear from the doctor. Only person that can see her in the hospital is one of her daughters; Sandys husband. We cant come visit her at her house because of Covid

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Dec 13, 2020

@kiastar- Oh, I am so sorry that she is having this additional complication. I hope that she can pull out of it. I'll wait for your post. My heart is with your family.

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Dec 13, 2020

@kiastar I am so sorry that your sister and your whole family is having to deal with all of this. As if Covid wasn’t bad enough.
As a former oncology nurse, one thing I would strongly suggest is that the family members, who are involved in her care, have a conversation about the situation. Everyone needs to use the same words in describing her condition. Because of the stroke, Simple, plain, easy to understand words and explanations are best, and easiest for her to understand. When speech therapy starts, you will be given other ideas to help in communication.
And, remember, we’re all here for you

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kiastar | @kiastar | Dec 13, 2020

Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which was very severe and they’re saying there’s nothing more they can do for her. She didn’t even get to try to fight the cancer. Her daughter will be speaking to the doctors tomorrow about putting her in hospice.I have to tell our mom tomorrow what is happening I held it from her tonight because I’m just not ready to tell her. And I want her to sleep tonight and I just really dread I have to say to her: And I want to wait until my knees hears back about the hospice. I’m hoping wherever she goes that we will be able to come in and Say our goodbys

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4 replies
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Dec 14, 2020
In reply to @kiastar "Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which..." + (show)
@kiastar

Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which was very severe and they’re saying there’s nothing more they can do for her. She didn’t even get to try to fight the cancer. Her daughter will be speaking to the doctors tomorrow about putting her in hospice.I have to tell our mom tomorrow what is happening I held it from her tonight because I’m just not ready to tell her. And I want her to sleep tonight and I just really dread I have to say to her: And I want to wait until my knees hears back about the hospice. I’m hoping wherever she goes that we will be able to come in and Say our goodbys

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@kiastar- I can't imagine what you and your family are feeling right now as you wait for hospice. I think that the best way to talk to your mom is straight forward and simple. This is such an awful time with covid as if you needed one more thing to deal with. I certainly hope that went the time comes that you can say goodby.

Thank you for keeping me updated. My thoughts are with you, always.
Merry

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1 reply
Mentor
Lisa, Volunteer Mentor | @lls8000 | Dec 14, 2020
In reply to @kiastar "Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which..." + (show)
@kiastar

Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which was very severe and they’re saying there’s nothing more they can do for her. She didn’t even get to try to fight the cancer. Her daughter will be speaking to the doctors tomorrow about putting her in hospice.I have to tell our mom tomorrow what is happening I held it from her tonight because I’m just not ready to tell her. And I want her to sleep tonight and I just really dread I have to say to her: And I want to wait until my knees hears back about the hospice. I’m hoping wherever she goes that we will be able to come in and Say our goodbys

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So sorry to hear this. Sending you strength on this most difficult day.

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Dec 15, 2020
In reply to @kiastar "Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which..." + (show)
@kiastar

Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which was very severe and they’re saying there’s nothing more they can do for her. She didn’t even get to try to fight the cancer. Her daughter will be speaking to the doctors tomorrow about putting her in hospice.I have to tell our mom tomorrow what is happening I held it from her tonight because I’m just not ready to tell her. And I want her to sleep tonight and I just really dread I have to say to her: And I want to wait until my knees hears back about the hospice. I’m hoping wherever she goes that we will be able to come in and Say our goodbys

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@kiastar, thinking of you and your family today. Peace and strength.

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Dec 16, 2020
In reply to @kiastar "Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which..." + (show)
@kiastar

Thank you for everyone that has been trying to help, my sister suffered another stroke which was very severe and they’re saying there’s nothing more they can do for her. She didn’t even get to try to fight the cancer. Her daughter will be speaking to the doctors tomorrow about putting her in hospice.I have to tell our mom tomorrow what is happening I held it from her tonight because I’m just not ready to tell her. And I want her to sleep tonight and I just really dread I have to say to her: And I want to wait until my knees hears back about the hospice. I’m hoping wherever she goes that we will be able to come in and Say our goodbys

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@kiastar- AM thinking of you and your family. If I can do anything more for you, please don't hesitate to ask for help.

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kiastar | @kiastar | Dec 18, 2020
In reply to @merpreb "@kiastar- I can't imagine what you and your family are feeling right now as you wait..." + (show)
@merpreb

@kiastar- I can't imagine what you and your family are feeling right now as you wait for hospice. I think that the best way to talk to your mom is straight forward and simple. This is such an awful time with covid as if you needed one more thing to deal with. I certainly hope that went the time comes that you can say goodby.

Thank you for keeping me updated. My thoughts are with you, always.
Merry

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My sister passed away this morning at 5:02 AM we had in-home hospice for her so we were able to spend the last four days with her. Our whole family is in disbelief.. there’s never enough time with our loved ones everyone take care

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1 reply
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Dec 19, 2020
In reply to @kiastar "My sister passed away this morning at 5:02 AM we had in-home hospice for her so..." + (show)
@kiastar

My sister passed away this morning at 5:02 AM we had in-home hospice for her so we were able to spend the last four days with her. Our whole family is in disbelief.. there’s never enough time with our loved ones everyone take care

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@kiastar- My deepest sympathy for the loss of your sister. I am very glad that you had time to be with your sister. I know that this is a very tough time. I lost a twin. It's very difficult to lose a sibling. If you wish to share this with others who have experienced loss Connect has a grieving and loss group

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/

Please take care and give yourself time and good care. Again, my condolences to your entire family. Can I do anything to help?

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