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Mon, Oct 7 2:19pm

Letting Go of the Past Can be Hard

By Megan Roessler M. Ed., @meganroessler

shutterstock_223317898Article contributed by Erin Haefner

We have all experienced pain at some point in our lives. Whatever pain we have experienced, it can be hard to let go. A good way to cure this pain is to let go of the past. Trust me, it is a lot easier said than done. I have a few tips on letting go:

  • You can’t change the past. You just can’t. But, you can change the future. When you put your past behind you, that gives you room to open your mind to the future. New opportunities lie ahead, and can only be fully taken advantage of if you are in the present; focusing on what you can do now that will benefit you in the future.
  • A favorite quote of mine from Abraham Lincoln:

“You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better. Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once.” My interpretation of this quote is that everything will all be well in time. I have found whenever I am very sad or angry, it doesn’t last forever. With time, I have laughed again, smiled again, and had fun again. Sorrow does not last forever.

  • You have survived 100% of your worst days. Keep up the good work. With each passing day, you are getting stronger and stronger. Each bad day comes and goes, and you are still standing.
  • My family and I always like to remind each other of this quote: “Where are you? Here. What time is it? Now. What are you? This moment.” – Dan Millman. This always reminds me to be present and live in the present moment – and not worry about the past or what I could have done differently. This also helps me to focus on goals I want to achieve in the future. What can I do NOW, HERE, and in THIS MOMENT that will benefit my future goals?

What are your tips and tricks to let go of the past?

Sorrow? It depends on what type if sorrow we experience, doesnt it? I hope I am wrong but I really feel my heart will never be happy again. Smile, maybe! Not happy! We lost our daughter, only 45 in early June. Its never going to be the same. She was my life, my sunshine, my heart!
I have bad days now but some aren’t too bad. Ive began painting and it helps. Life isnt the same and we still feel empty!
Thanks.
Kathi Fodor

COMMENT
@ihtak46

Sorrow? It depends on what type if sorrow we experience, doesnt it? I hope I am wrong but I really feel my heart will never be happy again. Smile, maybe! Not happy! We lost our daughter, only 45 in early June. Its never going to be the same. She was my life, my sunshine, my heart!
I have bad days now but some aren’t too bad. Ive began painting and it helps. Life isnt the same and we still feel empty!
Thanks.
Kathi Fodor

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I agree with you @ihtak46 If sorrow and grief were easy to vanquish simply via saying some quote or aphorism we’d all be on easy street. But in life, the loss of a loved one and our grief are not so easily banished. Life after loss is different. Forever different. Just my 2 cents plain.

COMMENT

Sorrow may not last forever, but life after loss certainly is different. I don't think it will ever be the same. I am grateful for the times I spent with my young loved one before she died unexpectedly. It has been over ten years and still I tear up while typing this. There are no words to describe it.

COMMENT

Our past used to be our present, and that is why I believe it is so hard to sometimes let go of it. We endeavor in our own ways to move beyond, not forgetting our past [and the lessons lived/learned]. It takes patience and work. It takes effort to adjust to our new present as that will most likely change to our past, at some point in the future. Just my thoughts.
Ginger

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