Working as a Survivor - No fear or No way?

Posted by cat3survivor @cat3survivor, Mar 5, 2023

I had a category 3 brain tumor removed nearly 6 six years ago, radiation, chemo the usual protocol. On my 5 year survival anniversary I started applying for senior engineering and project/program management positions and I got one! I was so excited. It was like all of my hard work and perseverance was worth something. I quickly noticed that I was still very capable but had difficulty dealing with the new COVID work environment. People worked from home and to be honest the office environment added no value for the individual employee. Networks, IT support, and even leadership - voice of the employee meetings virtual from over seas. It was a huge transition and although my problems were no more or less stressful than to others, I seemed to take it much harder. People would ask me why I would stress over things so much. Why would I work more than 40 hours to get something done. No one else did. Didn't I know the 80/20 rule. Quiet quitting, I guess. It doesn't make sense to a girl forever loyal to her country and war fighters. So, I got burned out. I started to have small seizure looking episodes and then more major episodes. I was ashamed even though I brought significant value. I quit my dream job and worse it was due to my own arrogance. The next part will sound very familiar, I'm sure. Since I had a very recent clear MRI, brain cancer related concerns were ruled out. EEG showed no epeleptic activity. I'm quite use to medical "practice" and "protocols" but I'm not sure I want to spend a good portion of the rest of my life working at finding a cause that will likely lead to prescription drugs that will make me sleep all day. I am a Carpe Diem Girl. Are there any companies worth working for anymore or should I find a less expensive and simple life.

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Hello @cat3survivor. Your story is both inspirational and relatable for so many non-cancer survivors even, after COVID. I completely understand the value you place on your work and how that may not be equal to that of the motivation of others around you... but that also makes you who you are and, likely, why you were hired into your dream job. That said, prioritizing your health and overall well-being is of utmost importance as well. I think the dilemma you are in is not your dream job or your health, but rather finding a company and opportunity that you can have your health be a priority and feel you are right where you want to be in your career. Perhaps this dream job was close, but that door closed so you can find the next one that allows for a bit lower stress to honor your health as well?

I challenge you to write your top 10 wish list for your life... a vision board if you will. See where your priorities take you and let that be your guiding light when it comes to where you go next on your health and professional journey. Have you done this practice before?

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@amandajro

Hello @cat3survivor. Your story is both inspirational and relatable for so many non-cancer survivors even, after COVID. I completely understand the value you place on your work and how that may not be equal to that of the motivation of others around you... but that also makes you who you are and, likely, why you were hired into your dream job. That said, prioritizing your health and overall well-being is of utmost importance as well. I think the dilemma you are in is not your dream job or your health, but rather finding a company and opportunity that you can have your health be a priority and feel you are right where you want to be in your career. Perhaps this dream job was close, but that door closed so you can find the next one that allows for a bit lower stress to honor your health as well?

I challenge you to write your top 10 wish list for your life... a vision board if you will. See where your priorities take you and let that be your guiding light when it comes to where you go next on your health and professional journey. Have you done this practice before?

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Thanks @amadajro . After some reflection, I realized that I am a very passionate person and after being down and out for 5 years I'm more driven now than I've ever been. I think a focus on impact over effort will enable me to achieve my goals. I've resolved, right or wrong, that health is not my top priority or problem. To the contrary, I think about my health to much! I'm surrounded by family and friends that would lead me to believe that I can't go or do anything. It's not true. I am highly capable, courageous, kind, and level-headed. When I stop over analyzing headaches, getting bored and zoning out, I'll thrive again. Cheers.

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