What I’ve learned in the 6 weeks since my RARP

This is my attempt to compile what I‘ve learned and tips/tricks to help cope with RARP and its side effects (while it's still fresh). Much of this info comes from these pages, but I thought a compilation might be helpful for those facing the potential of RARP. This is my experience and not intended as advice, and I coud nevere be accused of being a medical professional. I am 64 and had a Gleason of 4+3. I had a non-nerve sparing RARP on December 15, 2025. and this was written on Jan 26th, 2025.

Before Surgery - Talk openly with your spouse about concerns, fears, etc. The talking helps both of you. Go to Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy 2-3 times before your surgery. This is a head start on post-surgery recovery.

Hospital (1 night) - Walk at your earliest opportunity and as frequently as possible. I had to ask the nurses as they did not expect me to walk the day of surgery.

Going Home - I wore gym pants and routed the tube down the pants leg. Some use regular pants and route the tube out of the zipper. I had a 2-hour drive, so I came home wearing the big bag, and I wore a pad in my underwear just in case.

Catheter - it’s not particularly fun, but it’s not as uncomfortable as you think it will be.

Changing / Cleaning the catheter - I used alcohol pads to clean the tubing, connections, and my penis every time I changed bags. I also applied an antibacterial cream with pain relief around my penis to prevent any soreness. I used vinegar and water to clean the bags each time I swapped them out. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it quickly.

Large bag – I used it when I was home for the day and overnight. Its capacity was sufficient to last all night. I put it in a bucket at the bedside or chair just in case. When up and moving, clip the bag to your pants leg and you can walk around hands free and do something.

Leg bag - In some ways, the leg bag was more convenient. I could go about two hours before it needed to be emptied. I used it when I went out or we had company over. I was initially concerned about bag leaks / spills but never had any. I went on a mild hike or two, and to our day long family Christmas celebration using the leg bag. You can and should get out and do things, life goes on.

Catheter Removal - It's not a big deal, don't worry. Take several depends with you to your appointment. We had lunch and a 2-hour drive home, and I had to change once on the way due to leakage. Don’t worry, it gets much better rather quickly.

Post Catheter
I wore depends exclusively for almost two weeks. I did learn to put a pad inside the depends when I was going to be out. This way, I could discretely take several pads with me and easily change them as needed. I still had the protection of the depends just in case. It was more discreet and much easier changing a pad vs taking everythign off to put on a fresh depends. This was very freeing. Week 2-3, I transitioned to maximum absorption pads. (I always have several spares nearby just in case.) I just recently transitioned to medium absorption pads (week 4-5).

One of my greatest fears was incontinence. I’m not back to full continence, but things are progressing nicely and I am very optimistic. Do your Kegels. My other fear is of course sexual health. I was unable to have the nerve sparing procedure, and I am not far enough down this road to offer any insight. I am doing Kegels, seeing my Pevic PT, and using a pump as suggested. However, hope springs eternal for my wife and I. One thing that surprised me was the effect on my penis length. I'd read about it being shorter due to the surgery, but franky thought it wouldn't be noticeable. I was wrong, For me, it was surprisingly noticable. It is what it is, and is a small price to pay to have the cancer out. However, it is the one thing that I was surprised about.

Lastly, I'll say this. You can do this. It is manageable and it is important to your overall health and wellbeing. Have a longterm perspective and know that things do improve with time. May God bless you on your journey!