Unable to assert myself at 73...I have Severe Osteoporosis

I have found good, caring dentists are hard to come by but they're out there. I think you've been given some great advice!
Plus, put some weight on your bones to strengthen them. Lifting weights is a great way to exercise. I have osteoporosis, I'm 72 and am taking nothing except collagen powder. I ride my bike, walk and lift weights regularly. I'm praying I'm holding my own with bone density. Best of luck to you!

@loribmt hi Lori and thanks for your reply..I worked as a Medical Secretary myself and found being pleasant as second nature..at 74 I have I can honestly say never been rude or short as we say in Ireland...I presume your American ...I have gone to assertiveness courses but to no avail but as you say this is a Good Dentist...another thing we Irish say is" he is a bit of a pig" but my GP is new and would not give anyone a Benzo..I have Neuropathy and needed a pain killer but she gave me Lyrica which did not agree with me ...
I stopped taking it....but I am caught now in the timeline of Prolia and this guy does know his stuff so my next appointment is the 8th..I was so embarrassed leaving his office I nearly fell out the door...omg the cringe..
So I will get the extraction and then do the cleaning and hope to God I don't get ONJ...I live in Galway the West of Ireland...as in Galway Bay....I will let you know the outcome of my next appointment and thank you for your kindness....Patricia

You might consider asking your primary doctor for an anti anxiety medication to take before your procedure. After one eye injection, I talked to my doctor and was prescribed Lorazepam. It made a world of difference. I only take it before the eye appointments.

@lane73 Good morning, from across the pond. ☺️ I’m chuckling with your comment about the dentist “being a bit of a pig”. I’ve had choice words about some myself but, well, I’m a ‘bit more assertive than you are’ and pig was too tame. 😂
Sorry to hear you also have neuropathy and had difficulty getting a medication from your doctor. However, that shouldn’t stop her (or your dentist!) from providing you with a one-time anti-anxiety medication for dental procedures. In the US it’s difficult to get these drugs too, but all I had to do is ask my doctor for lorazapam for procedures or if I have to fly. He knows that I am not one to take meds unless absolutely necessary. But I’ve had several 3 hour MRIs for which I needed to lie absolutely still. Well, that “ain’t” gonna happen without drugs!
Funny story…for my first MRI I was really anxious, being told it would be 3 hours and I’m claustrophobic. So my doctor actually recommended the lorazapam. Said to take 1 pill, an hour and a half before the appointment. Then 1 pill again at a half hour before and then…1 pill in the waiting room! I did. But I wasn’t feeling any differently when the tech brought me back into the room. I was concerned maybe it wasn’t working?
So I lay down on the table, the techs put a frame around my head, stuffed pillows around me, positioned me where I was supposed to be and then left the room. I heard the two techs, both males, talking to me over the microphone. I was comfy but not in the tube yet. Then the table moved into the tube and the disembodied voices asked if I was feeling alright and ready to get started. They asked if the lorazepam kicked in. I said, “How will I know?” The tech said, “You’ll feel like you downed a couple shots and have a buzz.” to which I replied, “I’m starting to feel it, but not ready to go home with anyone yet.” OMG the viewing room erupted with laughter and I was laughing so hard they had to come in to reposition my head! True story! 😂
Anyway my prescription that I have on hand is only 10-5mg tablets. And I only need 1 to do the job! So I hope you’ll at least try to call your family physician, explain the anxiety and that this isn’t something you’ll take daily. It’s for dental procedures only. It may help you get over the initial anxiety for the extraction and the first cleaning or so. After that you may not feel as fearful and no longer need them,

As for worrying about developing ONJ (Osteonecrosis of the Jaw) while using Prolia or other bone building medication, It’s very rare for healthy patients to develop this after an extraction. More often it is an infection of the bone that can happen in highly immune compromised people such as patients receiving chemotherapy. If it occurs in someone taking osteoporosis drugs, it’s treatable! People with osteoporosis who develop ONJ receive treatments such as oral rinses, antibiotics, and oral analgesics to ease pain. These treatments are usually effective. Hopefully this will allay some of your fears.

However, it’s great that your dentist has knowledge on how to approach the extraction because of the meds you’re taking. You may be given a special antibacterial mouthrinse right beforehand to reduce the bacterial load in your mouth.
After the extraction it’s important for the site to heal correctly. Your dentist will give your explicit instructions for after care. But here are some highlights: Make sure you keep biting on the gauze for the recommended time to help form a good blood clot. No swishing vigorously, no brushing near the site, no smoking or drinking through a straw for at least 48 hours to prevent a disruption of the blood clot. You can certainly brush your other teeth and if you feel the need, you can sip water in your mouth and let it gently roll over your tongue, then spit out. Just nothing vigorously.
Not sure if you’ll have sutures, though they can help close the site for better healing.
I know you were embarrassed about last visit. Just pull up those big girl panties, smile confidently, hold your head up, shoulders back and walk right into that appointment like you’re sure of yourself! You get a fresh do-over!Here’s to a Happy New Year!
Let me know how the appointment went, ok??

@loribmt it is my understanding that treatments for ONJ are treatable, but only minimally effective. Am I wrong? Have an appointment to discuss meds and am very concerned about ONJ

are u sure u even have gum disease? during covid my dentist of 25 years decided to retire, i found a new young dentist near my home, on the first and only visit, he said i had Pyria and i needed to start immediately on doing a deep cleaning of my teeth, i had heard this was painful, also i didnt think i had any kind of gum /teeth disease going on. i had went to get my teeth cleaned, i didnt have any problems with my teeth. i asked if i could just get a routine cleaning anyway, and he refused to do this. i found another dentist who said i didnt have any thing wrong with my teeth at all and didnt need this expensive treatment. im the same age as you.

@lane73

An idea: next appointment, if you find that your assertiveness is flagging, imagine that all of us here are standing behind and along side you and behind you for added strength. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

May the Force be with you!

@loribmt Lor I just won't do MRIs I am so claustrophobic that is my issue with the Dentist I recently had 2 hr surgery for skin cancer and only had local anaesthetic and was fine..I feel I cannot breathe when they put stuff in my mouth....I ate chocolate toffees over the Christmas the " Hound that I am " calling someone a Hound in Ireland means greedy anyway I have been dying ever since ....again we over exaggerate here " Im Dying " can mean hung over or just amused...the Dentist did give me Antibiotics to start 3 days before...the only plus is he does know his job..he said Happy Christmas to me before I left and I just stood there in shock before falling out the door..I obviously didn't make a good impression....but I was thinking of asking for earlier appointment because of pain now....an example of my low self esteem when in Scotland as a young one wearing open sandals on a Bus someone stood on my toes which was quite painful and I said I was sorry ...I kick myself for that...but I am in a bad situation with the Prolia..I am trapped so I have to get this done....il let you know if I am alive...ignore the drama in my comments I do have a great sense of humour...I wish the Dentist was a fan..🙈