Thoughts for Thanksgiving

Posted by Scott R L @scottrl, Nov 18, 2023

As Thanksgiving approaches, I have been reflecting a lot on my progress (or lack thereof) in the nearly five years since my stroke. As I have said elsewhere, this is the fight of my life, and I intend to win.

Along the way, I have learned a few things.

First of all, it's a love story. Without my wife's endless loving care, I would have been a goner long ago. That motivates me to do my utmost to get better, out of my love for her.

Beyond that, I am tremendously grateful for the help, support, and encouragement I have received from many others, including members of Mayo Connect.

Forgiveness is a big part of recovery. I had a terrible habit of blaming myself for everything wrong around me, and cursing my imperfections. As someone said, "Would you be friends with someone who is as harsh and unforgiving of you as you are of yourself?" Well, good-bye to all that. The only way is forward.

Also, I have learned not to waste energy on negatives. Things like unforgiveness, anger, ingratitude, and selfishness have no place anymore. And to be blunt, people who represent these things are no longer welcome in my life. I had to make difficult decisions about some people, but I'm glad I did.

More practically, I have learned a way to evaluate my progress and recovery. I know it's not a straight line going in one direction...and it's more than one line. There are at least three. (More on that later, if you're interested.)

Finally, my Thanksgiving wish for you is that you have much to be thankful for!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

john1290 | @john1290 | Nov 19, 2023

Your reflections resonate deeply, touching the core of resilience and gratitude. Your journey, a testament to the power of love, showcases the unwavering support of your wife as a guiding light. It's a beautiful love story, indeed.

Your commitment to forgiveness and shedding the weight of self-blame is inspiring. The decision to focus on the positive, discarding negativity and those who bring it, reflects a profound wisdom gained through adversity.

Your practical approach to evaluating progress, acknowledging its multi-dimensional nature, is intriguing. I'd be keen to learn more about the three lines whenever you're ready to share.

As Thanksgiving approaches, may your heart be filled with gratitude, and may your journey continue to be adorned with strength, love, and positive strides. Wishing you a Thanksgiving surrounded by warmth and appreciation.

Best,
John

Debbie | @dbeshears1 | Nov 19, 2023

I can’t image a more perfect and eloquent reply than John’s. Scott - thanks for your timely, reflective post; what an ideal week to take a deep breath and focus on the positives we should be thankful for! Debbie

thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | Nov 19, 2023

This will not be a comment on the previous posts but something humorous. I was not planning anything for Thanksgiving this year. I said nothing about it to anyone. However, my next-door neighbor, who joined me last year, unexpectedly called to say not to expect her this year. I made the appropriate remarks but was puzzled as I had not invited her nor mentioned anything about getting together. And that's not all I have a friend who is a vegetarian. I found a recipe for egg balls that are cooked in a sauce that similar to spaghetti sauce. I asked her if she ate eggs and she said yes. I told her about my recipe and said when I felt in the mood I would try it and have her over for a meal. Again, no mention of Thanksgiving was made. To my great surprise, I now have my friend and her friend coming over for Thanksgiving. Again, I am unable to understand how this happened. So I will be scrambling to get all the ingredients needed for even a simple meal and combine it with two doctors' appointments on Monday and Tuesday. Fate works in mysterious way.

captboat | @captboat | Nov 19, 2023

This Thanksgiving I am greatful for “GREATFULNESS”🙏🏾

LisaY1 | @lisay1 | Nov 20, 2023

I truly enjoyed reading these! For this I am thankful!! Wishing love and healing thoughts to all!! ❤️

cutlermax | @cutlermax | Nov 20, 2023

Happy Thanksgiving

alive | @alive | Nov 21, 2023

We moved from the Midwest to Arizona a couple of years ago, so celebrating Thanksgiving means it’s just my husband and I and our two adult sons. Sometimes a few relatives would be passing through our corner of the world and join us for the celebration, otherwise, holidays are pretty quiet at our house.

I work at a local university and spoke with one of my international students, who is from Nepal. He is a first semester freshman, pretty stressed out by this time in the semester and far away from home. I decided to invite him to our Thanksgiving celebration. I hope he comes and we will extend the warmth of the season beyond our small family.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

cutlermax | @cutlermax | Nov 21, 2023

In reply to @alive "We moved from the Midwest to Arizona a couple of years ago, so celebrating Thanksgiving means..." + (show)

You show the gift to voluntary local food shelves to homeless people to our international students.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Nov 22, 2023

Hello,

A special thank you to @scottrl for starting this great discussion. I've enjoyed reading all of the posts in this "Thanksgiving" discussion. This is a great time to reflect on all the things that we can be thankful for.

I get emails from a organization that encourages Journaling. Yesterday, I received a 7-Day Gratitude Journal and thought that you might enjoy looking at it and perhaps printing it out to use. I've attached the document for you.

In case any of you would like to continue this type of conversation after Thanksgiving is over, we have a couple of discussions you might like to join. Here are the links:
Gratitude:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/gratitude-3/
Journaling: The Write Stuff for You:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/

From reading all of your posts, I realize that thankfulness adds a wonderful dimension to our lives. So, shall we keep it going?

Shared files

7DayGratitudeJournal (7DayGratitudeJournal.pdf)