I read 2 articles today about what COVID-19 is like and I’m about at the end of my rope. I can’t stop worrying about dying. I’ve been scrambling to find somewhere to talk about this and just saw a post on Facebook about Connect, which has been helpful for me in the past.
I have type 2 diabetes and I get infections easily because of that. I haven’t kept the best control over it in the past, but right now it’s controlled ok.
This week I went to the grocery store every day, I went to therapy, and I also had to go to the dentist for an emergency tooth issue. I hadn’t fully grasped the situation but I did wash my hands, use hand sanitizer, refrained as much as I could from touching my face, and sanitized stuff in the house. Also continuing to do those actions now and in the future. But right now I’m worried I got it from my trips out in the world. I’m kind of hoping that it was early enough where not many people were carrying it yet.
Now, I can’t tell if this is the beginning of a panic attack or what, but I’m having trouble catching my breath today. I’ve been having that feeling where you need to take a deep breath to fill up your lungs. I also have a very slight stuffy nose. I had one of these panic attacks last year where I thought I was having a heart attack. I went in to St. Mary’s ED. There was absolutely nothing wrong with my body. It was all because my therapist had just talked about how women have different heart attack symptoms than men (not to blame my therapist, it wasn’t her fault). It’s amazing how the body can unconsciously create symptoms like that. So I hope my breathing thing is just that.
I don’t think I want to leave my room ever again. I was thinking about running to the post office tomorrow but I think I need to not do that. I also need to not read any more articles about how people die from COVID-19. 😣 Thank you for allowing me a space to talk about all this. I’m going to try to go to sleep.