Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

Are you living with advanced cancer (sometimes referred to as stage 4 or metastatic cancer)?
This discussion is a safe space where you can connect with others to talk about the realities of living with limited time. It's not easy to find people who understand what it is like. For many reasons, you may not feel comfortable talking about your thoughts and emotions with friends or family. Perhaps you are alone. Even if you are surrounded by people who support you, you may experience intense loneliness.

Connect is a place where honest conversation can safely take place. You can speak frankly and be heard without judgement. I invite you to share your reality facing death and living now.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Cancer Support Group.

@colleenyoung

@baboinwv, my heart goes out to you. Families can be challenging, especially during a health crisis.

Your son has stage IV metastatic pancreatic cancer. It is unlikely that a cure is possible (sorry, I know that is hard to hear.) Putting energy into "advocating for his cure" may not be where your son wishes to expend his energy. His focus now is on quality of life and his oncology and palliative care team are focusing on comfort care.

While you and your son's partner may not get along, keep in mind that you share a man that you both love very dearly. It pains both of you to see him suffer. Might you bridge your differences by talking to her about the love you share and to talk about the goals of treatment for your son, i.e., comfort care? Does he have a palliative care team?

Another thought is to talk with a palliative social worker or an oncology social worker. They can offer support to family members as well as patients. They are there for you. Here is more information about oncology social workers.
– How an Oncology Social Worker Can Help https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/cancer-education-center/newsfeed-post/how-an-oncology-social-worker-can-help/

Courage and peace to you.

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Thank you for your comfort and care but deep in my heart I know there are trials out there for him to try! While there may be no cure there is certainly trials that can really prolong his life and maybe put him in remission!

If it can’t save his life then maybe with the trials it can certainly help progress in finding a cure.

I have a brother-in-law that died of pancreatic cancer over 40 years ago and I think he lived for two years with treatment. But sadly I haven’t seen a lot of progress made in a cure for it until now. Maybe I just notice it more since my son has it now!

The PanCan organization are doing a lot of research with this cancer and there are people that are in remission as we speak. So if nothing else it does give me hope that if we can buy time then they could find a cure any day now! That’s my biggest prayer right now. So any prayers would be greatly appreciated and thank you again for the message.

I have thought that maybe it would be a good thing to seek counseling or a minister to help. But I don’t think she would go for that and I don’t feel close enough to ask her.

Thank you for your advice and I will have to think about approaching the subject with her!

BaboinWV

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@colleenyoung

Hi @allisonsnow @lorinusbaum @shortshot80 @wandering @lizah @oldkarl @laurieann789 @hopeful33250 @tresjur @mollie59 @kenlucier @cjohn and @somefan. It's not easy to find a place where you can have a frank discussion with other people living with advanced cancer. I invite you to do that here.

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Hi friends,
I'm 41 years old and five years into my journey with metastatic breast cancer (MBC).
My husband and I are new to the Jacksonville area and he is in need of some social support / group talk therapy.
I'm trying to find a support group --ideally one that meets in person -- for spouses/caregivers with loved ones who have MBC or advanced cancer of any kind.
Any thoughts/suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Thank you!

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@lexgorman

Hi friends,
I'm 41 years old and five years into my journey with metastatic breast cancer (MBC).
My husband and I are new to the Jacksonville area and he is in need of some social support / group talk therapy.
I'm trying to find a support group --ideally one that meets in person -- for spouses/caregivers with loved ones who have MBC or advanced cancer of any kind.
Any thoughts/suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Thank you!

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Hi @lexgorman, welcome. I’m tagging @muradangie who may be able to steer you in the right direction to find a support group in Jacksonville, FL for caregivers supporting loved ones with metastatic cancer.

I know that you asked about in-person support. However many support groups have temporarily or permanently moved to meeting online (Zoom). For example, this caregivers group:
- Caring for the Caregiver Support Group (Florida) https://connect.mayoclinic.org/event/caring-for-the-caregiver-support-group-florida-12/
They meet on Thursdays from 11-12. He is welcome to join this Thursday.

Lex, how are you doing?

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@colleenyoung

Hi @lexgorman, welcome. I’m tagging @muradangie who may be able to steer you in the right direction to find a support group in Jacksonville, FL for caregivers supporting loved ones with metastatic cancer.

I know that you asked about in-person support. However many support groups have temporarily or permanently moved to meeting online (Zoom). For example, this caregivers group:
- Caring for the Caregiver Support Group (Florida) https://connect.mayoclinic.org/event/caring-for-the-caregiver-support-group-florida-12/
They meet on Thursdays from 11-12. He is welcome to join this Thursday.

Lex, how are you doing?

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Thanks for reaching out Colleen. I am pretty sure the online support group is the only option but I am checking with the social worker who runs that group. I will let you both know when I hear back.

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Vivir con cáncer metástasis es una situación difícil para las familias.Intento llevarlo lo mejor posible. Pero me asusta que. mi hija no se sienta tan asustada. Comparto mi sensación de impotencia ante lo que pasa

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i want to connect with anyone Stage 4 lung cancer on Keytruda/immunotherapy; how long have you been on and your symptoms. Thank you

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@ritsie

i want to connect with anyone Stage 4 lung cancer on Keytruda/immunotherapy; how long have you been on and your symptoms. Thank you

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I was searching for something related to lung Ca and landed here on this page.
Though no idea about Keytruda, my mother (70 yrs old) was last month diagnosed with stage IV Non Small Cell lung Ca (adenocarcinoma). Thankfully her EGFR test result was positive and while checking other parameters doctor advised Osimertinib (Tragrisso by AstraZeneca) as first choice and Erlotinib as second choice for oral medication (immunotherapy).
Then discussing about the affordability, availability, side effects etc, he advised to go for Erlotinib 150 mg (one tablet per day) which she started since Monday, 1st Aug. No major side effects felt so far and she is doing well.

Thought of responding though the medicine you mentioned is different.
P.S: We are not based in US.

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@ritsie

i want to connect with anyone Stage 4 lung cancer on Keytruda/immunotherapy; how long have you been on and your symptoms. Thank you

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@ritsie Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I suggest you go to the lung cancer group and ask your question, or take a look at the various topics there to help you find the information you are seeking.

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/lung-cancer/

@caringson Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.
Ginger

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@colleenyoung

Hi @lexgorman, welcome. I’m tagging @muradangie who may be able to steer you in the right direction to find a support group in Jacksonville, FL for caregivers supporting loved ones with metastatic cancer.

I know that you asked about in-person support. However many support groups have temporarily or permanently moved to meeting online (Zoom). For example, this caregivers group:
- Caring for the Caregiver Support Group (Florida) https://connect.mayoclinic.org/event/caring-for-the-caregiver-support-group-florida-12/
They meet on Thursdays from 11-12. He is welcome to join this Thursday.

Lex, how are you doing?

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@lexgorman Sorry it took me a while to re-connect with you. Yes, most support groups are still meeting virtual due to COVID, but wanted to let you know I found about about a new website that was launched for Florida residents: https://flcancerconnect.com/ Home - Florida Cancer Connect (flcancerconnect.com). Our Patient Navigator, Lara Smith, located at Mayo Clinic in Florida shared this information about this website below...

It’s a centralized resource hub for Florida cancer patients and caregivers to find resources and support. The tab for Caregiver support can be found towards the top right hand side of the page. My hope is that as things open up and (hopefully) groups start to meet in person again, we’ll see more opportunities for in-person support come on line. I hope this is helpful!

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hello, all...
New to the group. I have been living with melanoma since 2014, and last year progressed to Stage IV. Currently NED, with clean scans since July '21, but perpetually scared and uncertain as to what I am supposed to be doing to live with this disease... so, hello! 🙂

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