Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

I have leg pain only one leg sometimes pain travels s up and down my leg i am taking Lupron 6 month shot and will be starting abirtoone-ZytigaDoes anyone have this similar leg pain I was told i have advanced metastatis cancer How could i know if this pain is caused by my cancer

Hi Dutchman, Sometimes, high PSA levels in the blood are not due to cancer cells, but other causes. You may wish to ask the PSA specific part of your question to fellow prostate patients in one of these discussions:
- Detectable PSA 9 years post prostatectomy https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/detectable-psa-9-years-post-prostatectomy/
- Post prostatectomy: What do rising PSA levels mean? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/post-prostatectomy/

It must've been a blow to hear that cancer is rearing its ugly head again after 15 years. How are you doing upon hearing that news?

By the way I am 84, will be married 67 years in October (21) and my husband has his own set of probllems. He will be 90 In Oct 27. He has a full time catheter which is changed monthly. He has asbestosis and is on oxygen 3/4 of the time. With our age to fight along with our problems we still go out to play bingo at the nearest casino. We talk to others there too. Bob also has a walker. So the "fog" is there too for him. Life is meant to "live". Don't lose yourself in your problems, voice yourself here, you would be surprised on what you can say,and
and hear/read so try to voice your fears here. Don't allow them to kill you sooner than what is meant to be!. Shortshot80} Nancy

I received a radical robotic Prostatectomy via the da Vinci method 15 years ago this month. On November 12, 2021 my PSA was tested at 7.6. On January 31st I received the results of a PET Scan executed on January24th and the results of a PSA test drawn on January 13th. The PSA came back as 2.83 and the 'remnants' from the Prostatectomy were shown to have metastasized. Can someone please explain to me how this is possible without any medical intervention? Thank you.

Thank you so much for this discussion. It mirrors things for many of us and it helps to put an okay on our individual choices. Sending the best wishes to you. How is your husband dealing with things? I have pancreatic cancer that is now in the liver and when we got the news my husband said if I die, he will die as well. There is so much to live for, for both of us but certainly that he carries on. I do not mention it much but am trying to get everything in order. I do want to talk with him about any service and cremation details but am waiting. I will tell my children but really I need him to hear me without the "I will follow you". Any suggestions? I am fighting this disease but am realistic that I may lose the fight some day.

Hi bb, I can understand your apprehension in talking about end-of-life planning for yourself when your husband counters with “I will follow you.” Might you be able to turn that into planning for both of you? It’s never too soon to talk about best endings and share one’s wishes with loved ones. You could discuss his wishes as well as yours.

Planning best endings is never easy, but it's an invaluable gift to your loved ones. These discussions can be among the richest and most intimate that friends and family share.

This conversation starter kit might help give you some ideas on how to start the conversation.
https://theconversationproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/ConversationProject-ConvoStarterKit-English.pdf
I think the challenge might be to discuss things constructively. Do you think it might help to talk about him first?

Thank you so much for this discussion. It mirrors things for many of us and it helps to put an okay on our individual choices. Sending the best wishes to you. How is your husband dealing with things? I have pancreatic cancer that is now in the liver and when we got the news my husband said if I die, he will die as well. There is so much to live for, for both of us but certainly that he carries on. I do not mention it much but am trying to get everything in order. I do want to talk with him about any service and cremation details but am waiting. I will tell my children but really I need him to hear me without the "I will follow you". Any suggestions? I am fighting this disease but am realistic that I may lose the fight some day.

Thank you, @colleenyoung, for tagging me in to theis discussion.

@miller03 While my story is not the same as yours, your thoughts and concerns, are very similar. Without going into a lot of detail right now, I offer you the following from my standpoint. I currently deal with an incurable blood cancer, failing kidneys, and a renal tumor.

First, be gentle on yourself. Find what brings you joy, whatever that may be. A hobby, a creative passion, nature, family, etc. Do what you need to do to be as healthy as you can. Exercise most days, even a stroll around the neighborhood at a pace you can keep up. Have a protein shake of some sort everyday; it will help pep up your energy, believe me! And raise some crucial blood counts. It’s okay to have a “lazy day” too, just not too many!

Second, get the facts you want/need to know, from reliable sources and your medical team. No sugar-coating for you, it sounds like [and sounds like me, too, here!]. Go in with questions written down, and get answers. Then, you have a great basis for decisions now and in the future. Cancer centers have amazing social workers who will help you clarify your thoughts, and understand how to talk with your family.

Talking to family/friends may or may not show they have the same thoughts/wishes as you do. As Colleen said, it is ultimately your decision. I feel my husband has a right to know what my wishes are. He knew going in to our marriage about my kidney issue, but cancer came along later. I choose quality of life over quantity.

Does this help you at all? I can respond further to you, if you’d like.
Ginger