Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

Thank you Colleen. You are my first "reply" and it makes me feel not alone. No, the original cancer in the anus was cured but the squamous cell carcinoma has come back in my uterus with a malignant neoplasm of the endometrium. I am at peace, but some days are good and some are bad. Today not so good. But the greatest relief is that I don't have to worry about my healthcare! Knowing that you are with the best means one can relax and let the professionals do their job. For this, I thank God every day that I was referred to and accepted by the Mayo Clinic. It is uplifting just to walk in there and speak with employees who are so proud they are working at the Mayo Clinic. You are my new family!

Hi @earscan and @rfmb, and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.

@rfmb, I think survivor's guilt isn't uncommon, especially in a situation like yours where you know so many who had cancer. @apl2014 started a discussion dedicated to this very topic.

- Cancer Survivor Guilt https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/survivor-guilt/

Gina (@earscan), your geese, foxes, ducks and tadpoles sound idyllic. You must live in the country or have a pond with wonderful views. You said the you're starting this journey for the second time. Has the original cancer returned/metastacized or have you been diagnosed with a second cancer type?

I have peace and do not approach this with fear. I don't have too many regrets and I have a wonderful husband. I am just starting this journey again for the second time, but I refuse to get on a merry-go-round of emotions because I feel that this is out of my hands and "yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil" - Thank you God for every beautiful day, for my geese, and foxes and tadpoles and ducks! For a wonderful husband and son. I am truly blessed! Gina

I feel sad if you let this be a source of angst and stress. I practice Buddhism, so I may think of God differently than some reading this, but there is a great saying, "God's not finished with me yet." You have a mission and a purpose, unique to you. It seems likely that you have not completed it yet. Maybe it's one thing you will tell one of your grandchildren one of these days. You needn't think of it as something grand or great, but maybe it will have a ripple effect of causing great good in the world or in one precious persons life. I'm sure you are deeply grieving the loss of all these family members, and here in the midst of your own precarious situation, that can't be easy. I hope this helps in some way.

@rfmb We have to make the best or every day.. One thing I have tried to do was to Write a family History... They need to be aware of genetic tendencies.. even environmental backgrounds.. Do good work.. Vote.. Support the Healthcare workers and charities.. Ken

Thanks for the invite. How many here have survivors guilt? I am a five year survivor and have struggled with survivors guilty for almost my entire survivorship. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer approximately a month after I was. She knew she had it and hid it from us. She died 3 months after diagnosis. My eldest brother died suddenly of exanguination due to undiagnosed Lymphoma that burst an artery in his lungs approximately 17 months after my diagnosis. My mother whom I was living with and caring for at the time because she had end stage COPD gave up living after my brothers death. She had already buried two husbands and now her eldest son and I had stage 4 ovarian cancer. I feel she was determined to go before me or my other brother who has a possible life threatening illness. My sister-in-law who came with my surviving brother for Mom's Memorial Service while visiting became ill. She went home and never got better. Six weeks later she was diagnosed with Glioblastoma and died nine months later. I have such tremendous guilt everytime I hear of another person dying of cancer because I for some reason have been allowed to live and be with my amazing daughter and four beautiful grandchildren. I know in my heart that all who have gone before me are in a better place but I cannot help wonder why I am still here. At times I miss them all so much that I want to be with them.

Sews: so do I.

Yes, I call that skipping dinner.

I am a firm believer in fasting. It gives your body a well deserved rest. I have a healthy, hearty breakfast, then a substantial lunch at noon. I fast from noon until breakfast the next day. At first it may seem weird, then you will get used to it. You will sleep better. Your entire digestive system is given a rest so your body can heal itself. Remember, you need to drink plenty of water and of course, no sugar, no carbs, plenty of veggies and fruit, no red meat. Also, if you can handle it, give meditation a try. Same positive effects as fasting! Did I mention both also help with depression and anxiety, and general well being.

What do you mean that you fast 16 hours for five days each week? Since there are 24 hours in each day, does this mean you eat during 8 hours each day, but fast during the remaining 16 hours of each day?