Survivor guilt (?)

First, accept my sincere condolences. I am really sorry that you had to lose so many friends in such short period of time : (.

I do not have anything wise to say but will try to make you smile, if at all possible in this thread. There is a saying in my "old country" that "yellows are yellowing, and red ones are traveling" , meaning that sick (yellow in face) people complain and are sickly but are trotting ahead for long time, while red ( with healthy color in face) suddenly die (travel to other side). very often. It is so hard to translate it lol, but I am sure that you will get a gist and yes, I agree, the whole life is just one big gamble.

Nice saying! What is it in Danish? I can sometimes puzzle out a few words because I've studied germanic philology (though not modern Scandinavian languages).

Also interesting because we take red as a sign of *bad* health in English, in line with with the old Latin medical diagnostic checklist "rubor, calor, dolor" (redness, heat, pain).

I was never sick or needed much care. However the cancer diagnosis is humbling. My best friend, my wife of 51 years, mother of my children, suddenly developed cancer after helping me thru my surgery and the trauma of a cancer. We couldnt fix hers. If there was one person I would have traded with, it was her. Still trying to make sense of it. What a way to get lucky. ): .

I'm so sorry for that. Our brains know that it's totally random, but in our hearts, we still somehow believe that bad things won't happen to good people.

Totally random. The late Sal Mineo, when asked about his sudden stardom said, “It’s all just luck…and good lighting.”
Our orthopedic surgeon, a brilliant doctor, concert pianist and airplane pilot dropped dead this past Sunday running a triathlon - an event he had done before…Bad luck? Fate? Karma? Who the hell knows…
Phil

In my high school class of over 500 grads, more than 60 have died (their names listed in our class' 50th Anniversary program. I would say "time and chance" happens, we who survive should not feel "survivor's guilt". We are thankful, but sad for those who preceded us. Let's be a blessing to others for the years we still have.

My wife fought her cancer hard. (nsc lung). Radiation, chemo, clinical trials, hundreds of hours, thousands of miles, for 2-1/2 years. I brought her to each and every one. That was 13 years ago. Sure wish she was still around to return the favor. I don't have survivor's guilt. I'm just pissed.

Sorry you had to endure so much loss, @northoftheborder. Hang in there and keep up the fight. They all would have wanted you to.

Ha, ha , nope, my native language is Slavic - that is why my English is so "off" XP. I never got a hang of it completely, accent is there too *ughhh, but my English is much , MUCH better than Melania's, that is for sure XP ahahaaaa. The red description comes from "a blush" hue that healthy, non anemic , "autdoorsy" people get after vigorous activity 😉 which is in that region considered just perfect ;). I personally inherited very pale skin from paternal Germanic line that burns even under umbrella and was teased to no end as a child. On top of it I was anemic also, so yeah, "you are white as a cheese", or "you are pale as a ghost" were regular "insults". Only when I came to the States I started getting endless compliments about my skin that was suddenly "like porcelain" ha ha ha- talking about relativity of beauty standards.

So sorry for your doctor, poor man BUT I wish I go that way - running for a fun and kapoof - I am in another realm ...or nowhere.. I refuse to take statins for that very reason. We will all go one day, I wish it to be fast *sigh I actually have opposite of a guilt, some days I almost envy people that are "resting in peace". Don't take me wrong, I LOVE, love life - but sometimes it really sucks lol.