Supporting my mom who is going to Mayo Clinic

Posted by tiffdavidson @tiffdavidson, Apr 12 11:47am

My mom will be seen at Mayo at the end of May. She lives in Indiana and I live in California. She does not have a diagnosis and was told to expect to be there for 7-10 days. She is depressed and not herself and I am trying to decide if I should go. Her husband will be with her and he is great but I feel like I should be there as well. Do I go? Do I go after a few days when they know more? I would love to hear from someone that has gone to Mayo without a diagnosis and there suggestion. Everything I have read and heard about Mayo brings me hope that they will figure out what is going on.

Hi @tiffdavidson and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm sorry to hear that your mom's current condition is also affecting her mental health. You ask some great questions about whether to accompany your mom to Mayo Clinic, along with her husband. I want to assure you that your mom will be in great hands at Mayo. I'm tagging fellow caregiver @IndianaScott on this discussion. As his username implies, he is from the same state as your mom and may have some experience or thoughts to add.

Fellow members @nana75165 and @hannie posted related discussions in the Visiting Mayo Clinic group (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/traveling-to-mayo-clinic/) and members @roch @loribmt @nancy82415 @jillnc @rosemarya @Erinmfs and others offer great tips.
– Two week countdown – Mayo Rochester https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/two-week-countdown-mayo-rochester/
– What can I expect at an Evaluation Appointment at Mayo Clinic https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/evaluation-appts/
– Tips for your first Mayo Clinic visit and tests/appt schedules
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/tips-for-first-dr-visit-and-testsappt-schedules/
Which Mayo Clinic campus/location is your mom going to?

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She is going to Rochester. Thank you for the links I will be looking at them. I am also wondering if they let a loved one be with you during exams and certain procedures? I know she is also nervous, I am just torn on what to do.

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I was the patient, and I had 2 friends come with me to my appointments. I appreciated the help getting around , and the extra eyes and ears took great notes! It was a lot of information to absorb.

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@Erinmfs

I was the patient, and I had 2 friends come with me to my appointments. I appreciated the help getting around , and the extra eyes and ears took great notes! It was a lot of information to absorb.

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Thank you for responding. I am just so torn but I am also wondering what it feel like not to be there. Were your friends able to be in your exams?

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@tiffdavidson

Thank you for responding. I am just so torn but I am also wondering what it feel like not to be there. Were your friends able to be in your exams?

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Depends on the situation. They typically waited in the waiting room for the procedure to finish, but were included with the doctor going over the results and diagnosis. That’s the important part.

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Even with the portal and all the notes provided it was still good to have others there? I am sorry for all the questions but I am so happy you responded and know first hand. I also wonder if I hear it then I can help translate it to her. I would imagine its overwhelming for the patient.
She is camping at a local campground but I am thinking about getting a hotel room close to Mayo so that she can rest in between appointments.

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My husband (pre Covid19) would have to wait in the waiting room during my tests. However, he was always with me during the consult, when the doctor discussed the results, diagnosis, treatments. I don't know what is allowed now with the current Covid19 restrictions. You can find it here: Guide Patient & Visitor Guide > Your guide to getting care at Mayo Clinic
https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guideFree Concierge Service

I know that it is difficult to think about a 7 – 10 day span of time, and some members have talked about this in the discussions that Colleen has already shared. I would encourage you to scroll thru the discussions and read those that apply to your mom's situation. There is comfort in knowing that one is not alone.

To offer you, your mom, and her husband some additional support, Mayo Clinic offers free concierge services dedicated to lightening your load and making your visit easier. I would encourage you to visit this link to learn how the trained concierge staff can make the trip a little less stressful for your mom. I think you will also benefit from learning of the resources available. There is also a Live Chat line available.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guide/minnesota/concierge-services
I'm out of time. I'll check in later.

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@rosemarya

My husband (pre Covid19) would have to wait in the waiting room during my tests. However, he was always with me during the consult, when the doctor discussed the results, diagnosis, treatments. I don't know what is allowed now with the current Covid19 restrictions. You can find it here: Guide Patient & Visitor Guide > Your guide to getting care at Mayo Clinic
https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guideFree Concierge Service

I know that it is difficult to think about a 7 – 10 day span of time, and some members have talked about this in the discussions that Colleen has already shared. I would encourage you to scroll thru the discussions and read those that apply to your mom's situation. There is comfort in knowing that one is not alone.

To offer you, your mom, and her husband some additional support, Mayo Clinic offers free concierge services dedicated to lightening your load and making your visit easier. I would encourage you to visit this link to learn how the trained concierge staff can make the trip a little less stressful for your mom. I think you will also benefit from learning of the resources available. There is also a Live Chat line available.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guide/minnesota/concierge-services
I'm out of time. I'll check in later.

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that's true, we didn't have covid back when I was at Mayo for 4 days. I'd recommend that you check with the latest rules. Also, I recommend reading the EHRs online at the end of the day, the doctors write down everything that is said in the exam room. I love being able to read what happened with the doctor. Mine were always very thorough and accurate. Have access to the internet, I took a tablet with me for the Patient Guide. But paper works for the patient guide. EHRs (clinical notes and test results) are on your own, a tablet helps for that.

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@tiffdavidson Hi, I’m just catching up on what other mentors and community members have been saying about your question whether you should be with your mom at her appointments.

First, let me say how sorry I am to hear about her medical concerns and not knowing what’s going on. This has to be so stressful for all of you and frightening for her. Especially if she’s depressed. Let me assure you, she can’t possibly be in better hands than with the outstanding doctors and staff at the Mayo Clinic. It’s truly a place of hope!

I’m a recent patient of Mayo-Rochester and at this time 2 family members are allowed to accompany the patient to consultations and escort to and from the procedures and tests.
Most tests don’t allow for anyone to be in the room other than the patient because it’s not practical. But from my extensive experience there, each technician, nurse, nurse practitioner are caring and empathetic. They will do their utmost to care for your mom, help her relax and put her at ease while she undergoes her evaluations.

My personal opinion would be to not go at this time but wait for a diagnosis. Your mom will be on a busy schedule at Mayo. My own daughter lived only 1.5 hours from Rochester and we still asked her not to come until testing was over. Frankly, by the end of the day I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was try to be sociable or engaged. My daughter was torn too as she felt she needed to be there. I assured her I could feel her love and support and that I’d need her more down the road when my treatments started. My husband was my caregiver and it was enough that he was there as my extra eyes, brainpower and moral support for the duration of the evaluation period.

Have you asked your mom and step dad if they’d like you to be there?

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@loribmt

@tiffdavidson Hi, I’m just catching up on what other mentors and community members have been saying about your question whether you should be with your mom at her appointments.

First, let me say how sorry I am to hear about her medical concerns and not knowing what’s going on. This has to be so stressful for all of you and frightening for her. Especially if she’s depressed. Let me assure you, she can’t possibly be in better hands than with the outstanding doctors and staff at the Mayo Clinic. It’s truly a place of hope!

I’m a recent patient of Mayo-Rochester and at this time 2 family members are allowed to accompany the patient to consultations and escort to and from the procedures and tests.
Most tests don’t allow for anyone to be in the room other than the patient because it’s not practical. But from my extensive experience there, each technician, nurse, nurse practitioner are caring and empathetic. They will do their utmost to care for your mom, help her relax and put her at ease while she undergoes her evaluations.

My personal opinion would be to not go at this time but wait for a diagnosis. Your mom will be on a busy schedule at Mayo. My own daughter lived only 1.5 hours from Rochester and we still asked her not to come until testing was over. Frankly, by the end of the day I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was try to be sociable or engaged. My daughter was torn too as she felt she needed to be there. I assured her I could feel her love and support and that I’d need her more down the road when my treatments started. My husband was my caregiver and it was enough that he was there as my extra eyes, brainpower and moral support for the duration of the evaluation period.

Have you asked your mom and step dad if they’d like you to be there?

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My mom and I talked about it briefly. She is also not one to ask for help and will feel like she can handle it all. But she has proven otherwise. 🙁 No fault of hers but at times gives up. I haven't talked to my step-day, that is a good idea. Right now I am toying around the idea of suggesting him stay home and me go. He is fantastic and wonderful but not the caregiver type and I would be a better extra set of ears.

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@rosemarya

My husband (pre Covid19) would have to wait in the waiting room during my tests. However, he was always with me during the consult, when the doctor discussed the results, diagnosis, treatments. I don't know what is allowed now with the current Covid19 restrictions. You can find it here: Guide Patient & Visitor Guide > Your guide to getting care at Mayo Clinic
https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guideFree Concierge Service

I know that it is difficult to think about a 7 – 10 day span of time, and some members have talked about this in the discussions that Colleen has already shared. I would encourage you to scroll thru the discussions and read those that apply to your mom's situation. There is comfort in knowing that one is not alone.

To offer you, your mom, and her husband some additional support, Mayo Clinic offers free concierge services dedicated to lightening your load and making your visit easier. I would encourage you to visit this link to learn how the trained concierge staff can make the trip a little less stressful for your mom. I think you will also benefit from learning of the resources available. There is also a Live Chat line available.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guide/minnesota/concierge-services
I'm out of time. I'll check in later.

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Thank you @rosemarya I will look into the concierge services. I have been reading the website and looking at everything, I am so thankful she is going to Mayo!

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@loribmt

@tiffdavidson Hi, I’m just catching up on what other mentors and community members have been saying about your question whether you should be with your mom at her appointments.

First, let me say how sorry I am to hear about her medical concerns and not knowing what’s going on. This has to be so stressful for all of you and frightening for her. Especially if she’s depressed. Let me assure you, she can’t possibly be in better hands than with the outstanding doctors and staff at the Mayo Clinic. It’s truly a place of hope!

I’m a recent patient of Mayo-Rochester and at this time 2 family members are allowed to accompany the patient to consultations and escort to and from the procedures and tests.
Most tests don’t allow for anyone to be in the room other than the patient because it’s not practical. But from my extensive experience there, each technician, nurse, nurse practitioner are caring and empathetic. They will do their utmost to care for your mom, help her relax and put her at ease while she undergoes her evaluations.

My personal opinion would be to not go at this time but wait for a diagnosis. Your mom will be on a busy schedule at Mayo. My own daughter lived only 1.5 hours from Rochester and we still asked her not to come until testing was over. Frankly, by the end of the day I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was try to be sociable or engaged. My daughter was torn too as she felt she needed to be there. I assured her I could feel her love and support and that I’d need her more down the road when my treatments started. My husband was my caregiver and it was enough that he was there as my extra eyes, brainpower and moral support for the duration of the evaluation period.

Have you asked your mom and step dad if they’d like you to be there?

Jump to this post

Also is it likely she will have time gaps between appointments? Right now she has 3 scheduled, 2 on her first day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. She booked a camping spot as they have a really nice trailer but its about 15 minutes a day. I feel like a hotel close to Mayo is a better option for going back and forth. Thank you Thank you to everyone providing information! You don't know how much I appreciate it.

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