Support with Schwannomatosis

Hi all! I am new here, thank you for having me.
My name is Jackie, I was diagnosed with mosaic schwannomatosis back in February of this year. Mine is specific to the ulner nerve in my hand. I had 14 schwannomas removed this year off that one nerve, my MRI only showed 4 . Had over 20 removed about 10 years ago when I was a teenager, but they didn't biopsy them, so had to start from the beginning this year when the pain became unbearable. I knew when the surgery was done that it would only be a matter of time before they were back and I was hurting to my max. A few days shy from the new year, I find myself in that position. I was filing my nails and I hit my hand just right on the right spot and it folded me like a lawn chair. I do not think I can mentally take it again. I guess I am just here to look for some kindness, understanding, and hope.