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Suffering grief in silence. Lost 27 yr old daughter suddenly
Our adult daughter slipped and hit her head while getting ready for work. The broken coffee cup was beside her. She was wearing a hoodie and the sleeve of the hoodie caught on the drawer knob. When she hit her head she became unconscious. The hoodie and sleeve pulled tighter as she fell back. She died of asphyxiation. Her twin sister got the call from her work saying that she didn't post. Her twin sister's boyfriend went to the apartment with the police and they found her. Her dad came quickly and saw the terrible situation that led to our daughter passing. I some times don't know if I can go on, but I worry so much about her twin sister and other sister (22 months older - was her best friend and confidante), that I keep pretending that I am okay.
My daughter was struggling with knee pain from a fall that happened many months ago and also had fell on the stairs of my apartment a couple of years ago when she lived there. She told me about it with a look of terror...I could read her feelings when she said "Mom, please get treads for those stairs. I am serious!" This fall also happened in the morning as she was rushing to get out the door. I felt like she was warning me.
I was worried about her these last 18 months. She had broken up with her boyfriend of seven years and was living alone for the first time. Wanted her to go to therapy. She kept putting if off. She got a promotion recently and it seemed that her professional life was going the right way.
I don't know how I can ever get past this. I think about her every second. I talk to her in my head or I listen to podcasts/books on NDE's or by mediums. I look for signs everywhere and try to find her in all of my spaces.
I am on my second battle with breast cancer diagnosed with a second ILC just months after my daughter passed. It is hard to keep going with treatments.
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Please accept my condolences. You are dealing with an incredible loss and your pain is understandable. I don’t have words sufficient to provide you with any solace, but I hope you do find it with the support of your family, friends and others who have shared that type of loss. I do hope you continue with your treatments and with better health. Sending well wishes your way prayers for your comfort and healing.
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3 ReactionsWhat a tragic situation for you and your family! I'm so sorry for you all. It's hard to lose someone that you love so dearly but you can be sure your daughter is up in Heaven and out of pain. You will all be reunited with her again eventually in God's time. My husband of 31 years died a year ago of lung cancer. I understand the feeling of absolute loss. I miss him terribly. However, I just take each day at a time and remember the good times. What helps me is that I pray and talk to God daily. It helps a lot. My prayers get answered and life is finally beginning to look a little more cheerful than it was a year ago.
Your situation is much more tragic than mine because it wasn't expected. My husband was 83 with lung cancer so we did expect his death. Just take all your feelings and sadness and talk to God about them. He will be there for you and help you get through this very sad time. Also you have family members who need you and you have to keep your health up with the breast cancer. Maybe you should get treads for the steps as your daughter suggested. It's a good idea if you can do it.
If you feel you want to talk, I am here. Since my husband died I have a lot of time and am alone quite often. I will also say a prayer for you and the rest of your family in this trying time.
I wish you the best.
PML
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1 ReactionThank you for the kind words PML. I just needed to share my story. Sometimes it is lonely. People are super uncomfortable with my pain and I don't want to be a downer. My daughter's twin sister talks to me about her and we talk like she is present, just in the next room. That is how I cope. I remind myself that her spirit is right there with me. Sometimes that gets me through the moments, but some days, like yesterday, I just don't know if I can or want to go on. Am I always going to have these terrible feelings of guilt? I am supposed to protect her.
The hugs and prapers from this group are greatly appreciated.
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1 ReactionI am so sorry that you lost your husband. I wish you peace and it sounds like you are coming along with acceptance phase.
Hi Darack,
That's good that you shared your story. You needed to. It didn't make me feel uncomfortable; just sad for you. It's nice that you talk to your other daughter about your daughter who died. I'm sure she is there with you like you said. Often I feel my husband's presence. The other day I misplaced the check register. I looked everywhere. I even said, "Ed, I wish you were here." (My husband could find anything that was lost.) Then the check register was there on the floor by the desk where I had looked twice for it! Our loved ones are not that far away.
Give yourself time to heal. Try and not feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. Life happens. God decides who lives and dies and when. We may not understand it when it occurs but God does. Just ask for his help in dealing with it.
I was very close to my Mom. When she died in 1991, it took me 3 years to get over the sadness I felt at losing her. I was equally close to my husband. I don't know how long it will be before I don't feel so sad about losing him. But I do know that with God's help I'll eventually get through it.
Enjoy your family and keep yourself as healthy as you can. You can beat the breast cancer! Things will get better for you. I'll say a prayer for you.
I wish you the best.
PML
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3 Reactions@darack
I understand. As a mom you are hoping to protect yourself and your family from hurt again.
Losing a child is a very hard situation to live through.
Naturally, you are looking for comfort for yourself and your family.
Tomorrow, August 29th 2025 marks the 7th year of my daughter’s sudden death. She was 45 years old, and the mother of 3 kids.
My comfort and strength comes from my relationship with Jesus Christ.
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4 ReactionsPraying for your continued comfort and peace. Tomorrow, August 29th, is my first born daughter's birthday. 30 years old.
We just never know what is around the corner. One day, as you say, I will understand God's plan.
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2 ReactionsLife is immortal and love is eternal, and death is only a horizon. And a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Do whatever you need to keep her with you always. No one ever "gets past it."❤️
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