Stage 4 metastasized bladder cancer: Treatments not working, help

Hubby was diagnosed 20 years ago with PVAD artery disease, went thru 3 bypasses on left leg, plus stomach aneurysm, all in a 5 year span so he's been on blood thinner and asprin for that long.

Now actually its been 3 1/2 years ago my husband peed filled toilet full of blood, his sister and I told him he had passed a kidney stone, boy were we ever wrong, 1 year later exactly he called me from work to come get him he could not urinate, took him to his md, they did blood work sent us straight to the hospital, who did more blood work and sent us to urologist right away, urologist did scans told us it was stage 0 -1 bladder cancer, went in and scraped bladder, re-did scans saw that there was new growth so went back in and re-scraped bladder, did more scans then set hubby up for BCG treatments, 6 weeks of those, hubby had awful side affects but did finish the 6 week treatments crawling to the toilet to throw up and use the bathroom, we go back to the dr he then said cancer is still growing hubby would have to have bladder removed (BCG treatments did no good), (keep in mind this dr had awful bedside manner) in between scrapings their was infections so within a years time hubby was in and out of hospital, hubby decided he wanted a second opinion crazy thing was his oldest brother was diagnosed 1 week b4 him stage O bladder cancer, his brother had been telling his dr what was going on and his dr said their was a possibility bladder could be saved>

(Brother update he did BCG it worked perfect for him he's cancer free, is checked every 6 months right now) So hubby went to see brothers dr for second opinion. Totally loved this dr. great bedside manner, this dr sent hubby for all kinds of tests was so upbeat everytime he saw hubby which was important, it boosted his spirits, this urologist told him his cancer had went outside of his bladder into his prostate and uretha,(Bummer)

oh and now hubby can barely walk, (Right leg stopped up again so off to vascular dr we go) and Mitchelle Cancer Center in Mobile, Al...Met cancer dr's he would use for treatments,

Jan 2024 he has 2 stints put in left leg which puts off chemo for 4 months, They finally do 1 chemo treatment hubby is in hospital awful side affects, enlargment of heart non stop throwing up going to cancer center 4 times a week just for fluids, we do this for a month, they start second chemo treatment within 20 min his side affects were so bad they stopped chemo all together! (He cannot have radiation),

Oh forgot to say he had a tumor so large it blocked his right kidney and had to have tube placed in his back for 3 months for urine to come out that way (the kidney) was trying to die so in and out of hospital for that with infections, pulled it out one time!!! Urologist orders a pet scan, Scan shows cancer is in lymph nodes in different areas, in bladder,1 possiable spot in liver, in prostate, in uretha we are now a stage 3-4 mestasized, So here we go they biopsy the liver spot it comes back good.

Now were back in hospital for bladder, prostate and uretha removal also lymph node so they could biopsy, this is in Aug 2024 we are right at 2 and a half years into cancer diagnosis, surgery was so long they decided to wait on uretha removal, 3 months of recovery, and guess what he can hardly walk other leg is stopped up....

2 months ago they started immune therapy, yep you guessed it awful side affects, hands swelling, legs, feet did a scan and heart, throwing up etc he goes once a month for this treatment, so far he has done 2 and in between he has seen 2 specialist for these side affects, Last week on the 11th they did second pet scan, Cancer Dr calls in the next day, the scan is now showing the cancer is def in his liver, his bones, his lymph nodes above his collarbone, left kidney, behind his stmouch, groin,, its in the bony structure connecting the sacrum to the ilium......Dr tells him so far everything they have done has not worked, (No Duh) he goes Dec 4 for his 3 immune treatment, dr said they will talk about what they could do next....

Can someone please tell me WHAT IS NEXT? Has anyone else been thu all of this where nothing works? Hubby did lose abt 45 lbs after this last surgery, I understand this is normal, he put 10 lbs back on he is a big man so the weight loss was ok for him, but I can see again where he is losing is appetite to live? He feels bad all the time he tries to do things but is so exhausted it weakens him even more, what is next for him?

I have no one I can ask, every time I try to get answers from his Drs they just talk around it, is he going to make it, how much longer would he have if this doesn't work, is there anything else they could try, I and my son have been researching the internet but can't find any answers, is their someone else that has been thru this? It is like his own body is stopping him from getting any better.

Please keep in mind I am his sole caretaker, I'm exhausted and still searching for answers, I've asked his syblings 2 brothers and 1 sister for help,(Crickets) I've asked his pastor for help who by the way is his cousin, no help. Everyone likes to offer or call and check on him but no one shows up, trust me I've got this, I have spent the last 10 years working on building myself up (He was not the best of husbands, we have been together 25 years) I put that aside, He genuinely needed me when he got his diagnosis, so is their anyone who can tell me what the next step is for him and for myself, I want to prepare the both of us.

Thank You to all who read and respond I'm so sorry for the long post I guess I needed to get it out of my system hoping someone would read it and help me to understand...