Resilience: What Personal Strengths Do You Bring To Breast Cancer?

Posted by Miriam, Volunteer Mentor @mir123, Mar 9 9:23am

When I got a rare breast cancer 20 months ago, it was not the most difficult thing that had ever happened to me. I was widowed relatively young and left a single mom--that was my greatest challenge as an adult. So when I got breast cancer I wondered if I already knew some things that would help me. Here is what I learned from being widowed that was transferable:
1. I could accept help (not natural to me, as I thought of myself as the helper). Not only could I accept it, but really appreciate it.
2. I could function while being heart-broken and out of my mind with stress. I had to go back to work ten days after my husband died, and to my shock I could manage. Same with breast cancer--I could manage much better than I'd originally thought.
3. Things got better. The"new normal" is indeed different, but not all bad. Life changed, I changed--I actually don't like change! But I could do it.
So...I'm looking for inspiration. Can you share what wisdom/skills/experiences you had BEFORE breast cancer that help you now? I'd love to know!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.

I was diagnosed at age 75. Things start breaking down, I was convinced that breast cancer was "my thing". In staging my invasive lobular cancer I had an MRI that showed I also had a renal aneurysm. I thanked God for my breast cancer. After all, I could die quietly by bleeding to death if the aneurism broke. I have had both my cancer treatments and aneurysm taken care of.
I have always looked of the bright side of things and did what I thought I could do to make my life better. I continued to exercise during my treatments, ate healthier and kept close friends and family in my recovery loop (no sense in going it alone). I continued to take Tai Chi classes which centered me. I think we all have tools to help us through difficulties, we have to identify them and then use them.

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@maggieb892

I was diagnosed at age 75. Things start breaking down, I was convinced that breast cancer was "my thing". In staging my invasive lobular cancer I had an MRI that showed I also had a renal aneurysm. I thanked God for my breast cancer. After all, I could die quietly by bleeding to death if the aneurism broke. I have had both my cancer treatments and aneurysm taken care of.
I have always looked of the bright side of things and did what I thought I could do to make my life better. I continued to exercise during my treatments, ate healthier and kept close friends and family in my recovery loop (no sense in going it alone). I continued to take Tai Chi classes which centered me. I think we all have tools to help us through difficulties, we have to identify them and then use them.

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Thank you for this thought--I think we all have tools to help us through difficulties, we have to identify them and then use them.
I really agree. I feel I just need to slow down and take a breath and ask myself what would help. The answer usually comes.
Plus I enjoyed hearing the details--Tai Chi, reaching out.

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Thank you for sharing your story, you are a strong woman! I cannot imagine what you have overcome before your breast cancer diagnosis. The experience I would like to share with you before my diagnosis in Sept 2023 was earning my Karate Black Belt in 2022. Training for this belt promotion tested everything I had physically and emotionally. Pushing myself to train on the days I didn't want to. Trusting my trainers in their direction, working through injuries. persevering, overcoming self-doubt. By digging to the depths of my soul for inner strength during the 5 1/2 hour Black Belt I became my own version of Wonder Woman. A warrior....

This experience prepared me for the fight with breast cancer emotionally and physically. It is a journey like the path to Black Belt. Learning how to say no to some things, embracing other things, appreciate the good moments, pushing yourself mentally through the pain of it all. See what you have accomplished along the way. Trusting your medical teams, persevere, overcome self-doubt in decision making and wondering if you can get through the recovery. Without my experience in martial arts, I would not have had the heart of a warrior to fight this fight! The mental tools and physical skills help ground me in movement, thought, and breath. Karate is 80% mental and 20%physical. Fighting breast cancer is concurrently 100% mental and 100% physical as it is a different kind of battle.

Martial arts was not something I ever saw for myself, nither was breast cancer. However, they both require the same mental processes. Never give up on yourself especially in the most challenging moment! Dig deep for that inner strength and become your version of Wonder Woman!

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Wow mkefighter! I found your story so uplifting--thank you for sharing it. I can really understand what you are saying, even though I've never done a martial art. It sounds like your experience gives you great self awareness and a kind of integration of body and spirit. You made me realize how important art is for me to continue with those rewarding things that really challenge me. Do you think other breast cancer patients would benefit from martialists training if they had the energy to start?

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@mir123

Wow mkefighter! I found your story so uplifting--thank you for sharing it. I can really understand what you are saying, even though I've never done a martial art. It sounds like your experience gives you great self awareness and a kind of integration of body and spirit. You made me realize how important art is for me to continue with those rewarding things that really challenge me. Do you think other breast cancer patients would benefit from martialists training if they had the energy to start?

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I am more than happy to share this story and feel grateful that you found it uplifting! I think martial arts is beneficial for a number of reasons. First, it is designed to teach a person how to defend themselves against an attacker. For me, I was empowered with what I was learning (and still learning). I think this is what segways into the second point of the beauty of martial arts as there are many different styles out there.

Martial arts is more about self control, breathing, balance, flexability, muscle memory, and remaining calm in any situation. This builds inner confidence in countless numbers. We teach that you do whatever you can NOT to fight, however, if you have the ability if you have to. You go at your own pace. The community of people is another thing, I am fourtunate to belong to a studio (dojo) where we are much like a family. We care about each other, we want to see others succeed. During my recovery the moms, students, fellow warrior women cardio kickboxers, and my Sensei (teacher) reached out to me in texts and phone calls. As we all can atest to, these things are incredibly important in the recovery stage...

In returning to classes, my Sensei adjusts things to fit what I need at the time and I am able to ease into it slowly. I think other breast cancer patients can benefit from the martial arts for all of the reasons above and more. They also have to know that martial arts is about respect, honor, and discipline, if they go to a dojo that doesn't have this thought process look elsewhere.

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@mkefighter

I am more than happy to share this story and feel grateful that you found it uplifting! I think martial arts is beneficial for a number of reasons. First, it is designed to teach a person how to defend themselves against an attacker. For me, I was empowered with what I was learning (and still learning). I think this is what segways into the second point of the beauty of martial arts as there are many different styles out there.

Martial arts is more about self control, breathing, balance, flexability, muscle memory, and remaining calm in any situation. This builds inner confidence in countless numbers. We teach that you do whatever you can NOT to fight, however, if you have the ability if you have to. You go at your own pace. The community of people is another thing, I am fourtunate to belong to a studio (dojo) where we are much like a family. We care about each other, we want to see others succeed. During my recovery the moms, students, fellow warrior women cardio kickboxers, and my Sensei (teacher) reached out to me in texts and phone calls. As we all can atest to, these things are incredibly important in the recovery stage...

In returning to classes, my Sensei adjusts things to fit what I need at the time and I am able to ease into it slowly. I think other breast cancer patients can benefit from the martial arts for all of the reasons above and more. They also have to know that martial arts is about respect, honor, and discipline, if they go to a dojo that doesn't have this thought process look elsewhere.

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This is great advice--so I'm repeating it for all readers:
"I think other breast cancer patients can benefit from the martial arts for all of the reasons above and more. They also have to know that martial arts is about respect, honor, and discipline, if they go to a dojo that doesn't have this thought process look elsewhere."
I have a friend who trained in Akido for many years. She recently published a book that includes how to learn from Akido in the sphere of creative writing.

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My story isn’t so eloquent or nice as the rest. My story is simply that I don’t/won’t let anyone or anything control me. Helps me not feel the need to waste good energy on tears and worry.

The end.

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Hi @sedonadreaming--an approach doesn't need to be "nice" to be useful and authentic. I share that need for freedom. I've been reading the Stoic philosophers, who are very helpful in terms of not letting fear or trouble tyrannize our authentic selves. Thanks for weighing in. And I have to ask--is your Connect name from Sedona, AZ? Just a favorite place for me.

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Resilience in all forms is empowering no matter what! Short or long story, it is a WIN!

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@mir123

Hi @sedonadreaming--an approach doesn't need to be "nice" to be useful and authentic. I share that need for freedom. I've been reading the Stoic philosophers, who are very helpful in terms of not letting fear or trouble tyrannize our authentic selves. Thanks for weighing in. And I have to ask--is your Connect name from Sedona, AZ? Just a favorite place for me.

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Favorite place of mine, too. It has a better ring than WisconsinDreaming. Hehe.

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