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amberpep
@amberpep

Posts: 610
Joined: Jul 02, 2012

~ Requesting Input ~

Posted by @amberpep, Mar 19, 2017

Hi all …. this is probably going to seem like a strange request, but I’m curious to know what you all think about this. My now X-husband (for 10 years, although I still see him at family functions) has had tingling and slight numbness in his calves and feet for at least 20 years. He has been “everywhere” , so he says, including Hopkins when we lived up there. And, being an E.E. he has read everything available about this situation, and “he” has narrowed it down to the S-7 area. When he would go to a doctor, even at Hopkins, or Wash. Hosp. Center, he would come home and say, “I know more than they do, they don’t have time to read all this new stuff.” He is what you’d call a classic Narcissist …. he “knows” everything and is smarter about everything than anyone else. He won’t let anyone do anything to his back because of this. I told him when I thought this happened, which of course, he said is totally absurd, but about 20 years ago, when our whole family was still together, we had several ice storms in a row, leaving about 3″ of ice on our driveway and even on the grass. He was determined to go to work so he attempted to walk down the ice covered grass (no metal tracs on his shoes) to get to his car at the end of the street. As he approached our woods, his feet went out from under him and he flew, landing on his back. After that, it was all downhill from there, but of course, I didn’t know anything and that CERTAINLY was NOT when it happened.
So, he has lived with tingling calves and numb feet all this time, given up on “dumb” doctors. And, just in case you’re thinking this …. he’s not diabetic. What in the world does this sound like to you except for him being a stubborn old Narcissist who knows better than everyone else……pinched nerves, disc problem? I’m not with him anymore but you all are a wealth of information and I thought I’d ask you all.
Thanks so much,
Abby

REPLY

Abby, I read the frustration in your story, and I understand, since I too have an ex. However, my advice to you is, let it go. There is no right or wrong answer here. You can’t “win”, and it’s OK. There is no reason to be “right”. You can decide that you’re right, and then let it go. Holding onto something like this for so long keeps you connected to your ex in an unhealthy way I believe. I found that when I was no longer concerned about anything to do with my ex, my life got better and I was happier. He will never admit or even notice that you are right about this, and even if he did, what difference would it really make in your life? Let it go and be happy with your life. Warmly, Gail B

@gailb

Abby, I read the frustration in your story, and I understand, since I too have an ex. However, my advice to you is, let it go. There is no right or wrong answer here. You can’t “win”, and it’s OK. There is no reason to be “right”. You can decide that you’re right, and then let it go. Holding onto something like this for so long keeps you connected to your ex in an unhealthy way I believe. I found that when I was no longer concerned about anything to do with my ex, my life got better and I was happier. He will never admit or even notice that you are right about this, and even if he did, what difference would it really make in your life? Let it go and be happy with your life. Warmly, Gail B

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Thanks muchly,
abby

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