Radiation for 70 yr old (glioblastomas grade 4)?

@kaygee77, I remember that state of half-grief and travelling without a road map. It is an awkward limbo. I found a couple of articles that may help to prepare, although they will not be specific to your mom of course:
- What can be expected as brain cancer progresses? https://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Support/Support/Asked+and+Answered/What+to+Expect+with+Various+Illnesses/Cancer/What+can+be+expected+as+brain+cancer+progresses_.aspx
- Final weeks and days: What to expect https://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Topics/Topics/Final+Days/Final+weeks+and+days_+What+to+expect.aspx

Do you and your family have support from a palliative care team?

She completed radiation and is on maintenance chemo once a month. Her follow up imaging wasn't ideal and they started her on Avastin infusions last month. She seems to be declining rather rapidly in our eyes, though the oncologist indicates the decline is slow. She is mostly incontinent and her short term memory is nearly non existent. I wish someone could just give us a road map to this awfulness... a way to mark our progress instead of staying in this weird place of half-grief.

There is a lot of research and talk going on right now about the issue of loneliness, apart of the type of loneliness that grief brings (which, having gone through that, I understand completely that feeling). In the UK they have even instituted a Ministry of Loneliness! (https://www.gov.uk/government/news/loneliness-minister-its-more-important-than-ever-to-take-action)
So many sites in the US are bemoaning a huge sense of loneliness in society which is contributing to "mental health issues" (https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/learn/index.htm).
My point is, please realize you are not alone. Many people are feeling lonely, are grieving, are suffering. An antidote for that can be to purposefully do something nice for someone else every day or start talking to anyone and ask how they are. Once a conversation is initiated, it is surprising what people will share about their sufferings, and that can lead to you feeling open to share yours.
Finding the right spiritual group can be a huge help - which can be the right church, a gardening group, an art group, etc.
I hope you keep searching for others to share with - you'll find them.

Hi @kaygee77, welcome. How is your mom doing? Has she completed radiation and chemo treatments?

Alone yes…..can’t believe how much of a need ‘conversation’ is desired!! I find myself just to grab anybody even it means a store clerk! THEN I realize how little of conversation i have…my husband’s Cancer!

What else can I offer?? Maybe I dusted my front-room, perhaps, by the way I heard we might get rain - seems weather is a safe zone?? I catch myself & realize what is happening - its lonely

I just saw your post. I am sorry you are dealing with the same issue. I guess it makes me feel “better” to know it isn’t just me. One friend told me I was being too needy when I kept asking to hear from him once a week in an email. Now he won’t even talk to me. I also was told that since I am “privileged” I should not be having as much grief. I am still trying to figure that one out. If privilege keeps you from grieving then why do so many famous and rich people have grief. I read that Regis Philbin’s wife still isolates herself from others and he has been gone about three years. I would say she is pretty privileged too. I tell people that until it has happened to you, you have no idea how bad it is and how lonely it is when your spouse dies.

@djw Touching base to see how your wife is doing. My 74 year old mother was diagnosed with GBM grade 4 in October and has done much of what you've outlined regarding your wife. How have the past two months gone for you?

Oh my how our lives somewhat match….I sit here alone my husband inside sleeping and has been all day. I read your post & totally relate….the friends I thought were there weren’t; includes church people as well. Yes, they ask how is Joe? How are you doing? That’s the end of it.

What can I say, no family around even - why don’t ya move closer! Yikes, where are the visits? No phone calls even except for our 2 children but are working & live in distance States. Yes a very lonely experience!! I have ‘surrendered’ to just me & him! I am in a ‘protector’ role and wonder when will this ever end. Is it THEN when I will find ‘that friend’??? Sorry TOO LATE & now I don’t CARE

Thank you. It has been a struggle everyday. What makes it worse is I have very few friends and despite asking them for help in the form of a phone call or quick email from them maybe once a week, I get nothing. I have read so many accounts online where a good support group is needed to help deal with the grief. I thought I had that but I was fooled. I talk to a therapist three times a week so I have someone to talk to. Even he is surprised at how little support I have gotten from family and friends. It is a very lonely experience.

I’m very sorry for your loss.
It must have been very hard to go through ..