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PTSD/Agoraphobic
Hello!
This is my first time here, in this support group. I'm in trouble and need to talk ~ maybe get some opinions or advice from your personal experiences please. Long story, but I have chronic severe PTSD complicated with grief, depression and anxiety ~ along with physical issues and being OLD!
This weekend is my 50th high school reunion, and I want no part of it. I HATED high school as I was never there, being at home taking care of my mother, an alcoholic dying of colorectal cancer.
Two of the women who I was friends with want to get together and go out, but I just CAN'T. I want to see them, but I don't want them to see ME. I finally accepted the fact that I'm agoraphobic (will get help for this) but a BAD time to come to this realization.
I lost my husband of 30 years three years ago, and have had MANY responsibilities since. Constant stress.
I CAN'T deal with this right now. I've tried to explain this to them, but they don't get it. Any suggestions please? Thank you.
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@binky1956 I don't think you owe them any long drawn out explanation. A simple, "sorry I'd like to see you but my plans don't give me an opening to get together with you right now. Perhaps in the future when we are all in the same place, again." Meanwhile, keep in touch with them if you want, by phone or email, or Facetime. You need to think of yourself, first!
Like you, high school was a challenge for me. I have never gone back there, not to any reunions, not even to the campus. It is now 53 years. I haven't seen anyone from my class, either. More than once we have all heard about the roles we played in high school coming right back at reunions!
So glad to hear you will be seeking some help for PTSD and agoraphobia. Please let me know what your plans are, how you will address it?
Ginger
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8 ReactionsThanks Ginger!
I appreciate your insight. You'd think at my age (68), I'd be able to say "no" to people. I guess I felt guilty as they are both coming in from far away. One is very understanding and easy going. The other is very needy and demanding. I own a large company and still work (not my idea, but left to me by my husband) I told her that and that I may be working. Went right over her head. I will see them both separately, and let them know when I've had enough!
You're right about "roles' in high school, and I 'm sure the mean girls are still mean! I've been looking for a decent therapist for over a year, with no luck, but I'll keep trying. I'd love to get into a program at Mayo in Rochester. Thank you, Ginger ~ I'll keep you posted!
Christine
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6 ReactionsNo is a complete sentence. Us people with PTSD can have a hard time keeping our boundaries under pressire. That's what grooming is aboit. We were taught that saying NO is not ok. Good for you for saying no originally is its more than fine to pit your self first. Its been 50 years. You don't owe them anythink. Were they there for you when your DH died?
Yell they you aren't going and No means No. Good practice esp for people who mean ZERO to your life. You have nothing fun aboit highschool to relive.
Neither did I. I find go either. I come from a small town and it was being held for a few hours at a club. Even people I expected to go, BMOC football who married the perfect cheerleader, didn't go.
No is a complete sentence. No means no. And that is absolutely fine! My best to keep up with life. Be, age 69.
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