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PTSD and learning to cope living with cancer

Posted by sandieboyer @sandielegal, Mar 20, 2022

I thought after that five year mark that I honestly lived through the fears of reoccurrence. Cruelly the only symptom of my pure small cell bladder cancer back in 2015 was Hematuria (blood in my urine) Has returned.
Reasonably I can tell myself that Small Cell Cancer doesn’t act like that, lying in wait for seven years…..
This is a wicked twisted waiting game.
My life will never feel the same

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Mar 20, 2022

@sandielegal, PTSD and fear of recurrence are real and often the darker side of the reality of cancer survivorship. @merpreb and others like @swift @bjh369 @kathleenkin @katehanni @azkidney57 @alamogal635 @richcolleen talk about this in this discussion:

- Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/facing-cancer-recurrence-ptsd-acknowledging-mental-health/

Sandie, have you been diagnosed with a recurrence or are did you see hematuria this weekend and are waiting to have recurrence confirmed or ruled out this week?

REPLY
1 reply
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Mar 21, 2022

Good morning- Thank you, Colleen. Sandie, thank you for being a first responder.

I get your fear, I really do. My second lung cancer came to me 10 years after my first one. I thought that I had it made and it sure was a kick in the stomach when I got a call telling me that I didn't have it made. And, yes, it changed my life once again. And it never was the same again. But that doesn't mean that it was a horrible change. I don't know if the human species has a built-in fear/dread app. but when it comes to cancer it must hit overdrive. The world knows that cancers can come back. So we tend to anticipate and build up a kind of "tic" called looking over your shoulder!

Was your first cancer prior to your "trauma"? Do you have a definite second diagnosis of bladder cancer?

REPLY
1 reply
sandieboyer | @sandielegal | Mar 21, 2022
In reply to @colleenyoung "@sandielegal, PTSD and fear of recurrence are real and often the darker side of the reality..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

@sandielegal, PTSD and fear of recurrence are real and often the darker side of the reality of cancer survivorship. @merpreb and others like @swift @bjh369 @kathleenkin @katehanni @azkidney57 @alamogal635 @richcolleen talk about this in this discussion:

- Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/facing-cancer-recurrence-ptsd-acknowledging-mental-health/

Sandie, have you been diagnosed with a recurrence or are did you see hematuria this weekend and are waiting to have recurrence confirmed or ruled out this week?

Jump to this post

Just noticed the blood. Now I wait to be seen and cleared! I just find it treacherous what our own mind can do to us while we wait.

REPLY
1 reply
sandieboyer | @sandielegal | Mar 21, 2022
In reply to @merpreb "Good morning- Thank you, Colleen. Sandie, thank you for being a first responder. I get your..." + (show)
@merpreb

Good morning- Thank you, Colleen. Sandie, thank you for being a first responder.

I get your fear, I really do. My second lung cancer came to me 10 years after my first one. I thought that I had it made and it sure was a kick in the stomach when I got a call telling me that I didn't have it made. And, yes, it changed my life once again. And it never was the same again. But that doesn't mean that it was a horrible change. I don't know if the human species has a built-in fear/dread app. but when it comes to cancer it must hit overdrive. The world knows that cancers can come back. So we tend to anticipate and build up a kind of "tic" called looking over your shoulder!

Was your first cancer prior to your "trauma"? Do you have a definite second diagnosis of bladder cancer?

Jump to this post

Today I find myself crying like a spoiled child, After a phone call today canceling my appointment with a new urologist
(He will see me on Wednesday)
48 hours longer ……. it is the worst waiting

REPLY
3 replies
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Mar 21, 2022
In reply to @sandielegal "Today I find myself crying like a spoiled child, After a phone call today canceling my..." + (show)
@sandielegal

Today I find myself crying like a spoiled child, After a phone call today canceling my appointment with a new urologist
(He will see me on Wednesday)
48 hours longer ……. it is the worst waiting

Jump to this post

I can read the tears in your post. If you absolutely can't stand it anymore, and if you can see blood or in awful pain then I would go to the ER. What do you think?

REPLY
sandieboyer | @sandielegal | Mar 21, 2022

Thank you Merry, Thank you All! Absolutely no pain this time or the first time…. It’s crazy how we can torture ourselves with the unknown. On Wednesday with a scope I will finally have idea.

REPLY
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Mar 22, 2022
In reply to @sandielegal "Just noticed the blood. Now I wait to be seen and cleared! I just find it..." + (show)
@sandielegal

Just noticed the blood. Now I wait to be seen and cleared! I just find it treacherous what our own mind can do to us while we wait.

Jump to this post

Sandie- How are you feeling this AM. Did you go to the ER or are you waiting for your appointment?

REPLY
1 reply
sandieboyer | @sandielegal | Mar 22, 2022
In reply to @merpreb "Sandie- How are you feeling this AM. Did you go to the ER or are you..." + (show)
@merpreb

Sandie- How are you feeling this AM. Did you go to the ER or are you waiting for your appointment?

Jump to this post

I put on my big girl panties and I have decided I Can wait until tomorrow….. Faith over my fear and I will not allow my mind to lead me into dark and lonely places. ❤️

REPLY
1 reply
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Mar 22, 2022
In reply to @sandielegal "I put on my big girl panties and I have decided I Can wait until tomorrow…....." + (show)
@sandielegal

I put on my big girl panties and I have decided I Can wait until tomorrow….. Faith over my fear and I will not allow my mind to lead me into dark and lonely places. ❤️

Jump to this post

good for you!

REPLY
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Mar 24, 2022
In reply to @sandielegal "Today I find myself crying like a spoiled child, After a phone call today canceling my..." + (show)
@sandielegal

Today I find myself crying like a spoiled child, After a phone call today canceling my appointment with a new urologist
(He will see me on Wednesday)
48 hours longer ……. it is the worst waiting

Jump to this post

How was your appointment?

REPLY
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